


Months to Millenniums

by GhistWrite



Series: Ciel Phantomhive/Reader [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Angst, Canon - Anime, Demons, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friendship, Horror, M/M, Romance, Slow Romance, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 79,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhistWrite/pseuds/GhistWrite
Summary: *Sequel to Years to Seconds (Ciel x Reader)*[WARNING: TRIGGERING, MATURE THEMES AND CURSING-THE WHOLE SHEBANG]My name is (y/n) (l/n)."To think witches are real as well..."I have the ability to travel through time."Another dose, then. She needs to learn her place does she not, Claude?"I fell into another dimension and had nowhere to go, but the kind Alois Trancy took me in."When will you learn, (y/n)..."The price for my new found home, however..."That you belong to me and only me?"...is my entire being.





	1. Prologue

**[Trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p4jbd_EUXI) **

 

 

Your toes arched, straining against the ice cold floors of the dark room. Above you, your arms were stretched to their fullest, somehow still connected to your weak shoulders as you hung like bait on a hook. If someone were to look at you, they'd assume you dead as a doornail. Unfortunately for you, your heart still beat like some curse. Dying wasn't an option in the Trancy manor, not yet, at least.

A shiver spread down your body as the screech of a door opening rang out, light flooding the inky black that was your sight. Sprightly footsteps tapped, circling like the predator you knew best you. Clothing rustled and you didn't bother to open your eyes, knowing who stalked your barely clothed figure.

"Hmm. Starvation, medication and even a profound amount of blood loss can't kill you. Of course, Claude said it wouldn't, but I thought it would be interesting to test it, regardless." He was giggling, poking at a sore bruise just under the left side of your chest. You didn't give a reaction leaving him to click his tongue in disappointment. "You're no fun like this."

"Disappointed?" you rasped out, numbly, unable to keep your sharp tongue in check.

"Quite," he replied, coming to stand in front of you. The chill was so strong you could feel the warmth that radiated off him. You'd rather recoil away freeze. "If you have enough energy to speak then you should be put to work."

"Do it yourself," you snapped weakly.

The sting of his palm hitting your cheek didn't register having felt it so many times. Everything was swollen and insensitive by now.

"Still kicking, still screaming. I'll enjoy the day you finally crack, little witch," Alois hissed, circling like a vulture once more.

"It's already been, what? Two weeks? How much money do you waste on me and these methods? Really, I'm curious." You raise your head, ignoring the pain in your neck and the pop in your spine.

"You were so broken when we picked you up," the brat giggled, eyes dark. "Grief does _wonders_ for you, it seems. One moment you're a sobbing mess and the next you're a rude bitch."

"At least I'm not a bipolar freak 24/7," you whispered and a grunt escapes as his boot comes into contact with your already beaten legs.

"Shut it! You never learn to keep that mouth of yours closed!" he shrieked, lashing out every chance he gets. "Claude!" he screamed and your body goes rigid. It's not long before needles prod at your skin and you keep your eyes low, loathing the very presence of the demon.

"You called, your highness?" His voice brings backs too many images, all of which are tortuous. The procedures they put you through were worse than hell itself.

"See to it this scum learns her place. I want her groveling at my feet!"

"Is that all, your highness?"

You can feel his gaze on you, bitter and cold to the touch. Raising your head you battle his frozen glare with your own, not giving in.

"What's so great about you?" Trancy scowls, squinting in befuddlement. "Witches don't compare to demons. They seem almost worthless to me at this point."

"Stop drugging me and I'll show you," you spat, poison ripe on your tongue.

"I've seen the damage you cause, it's a powerful thing," he hummed, "but not something that interests me."

"What else could you possibly _want_?" you bark. "Damages and chaos is your cup of tea, isn't it? I have nothing else to give and even if I did I'd die before letting you have it."

"Yes, you're completely useless, but it's not fun killing someone who already wants to die," Alois sighed, clearly disappointed. "If only that worthless Guard Dog hadn't disappeared along with his butler. He's such a nuisance."

Your stare sharpens and the echo of chains jingling bounces off the walls as your feet swing up to land some sort of hit on the irritating blond. An angered scream leaves your chapped lips as you move and a gloved hand crushes your ankles together in one grip. The rage morphs into pain leaving you to struggle in the demon's grasp, wiggling helplessly.

"Why is it you only react to that stupid earl? Were you close to him, little witch?" Alois chuckled and you bare your teeth at him, rabid like a dog you so very missed.

A dog that had been put down long ago.

Alois' eyes widen as an insane grin lights up his face. You pause in your thoughts, fear seizing you as the predator goes in for the kill. A gaping maw is approaching.

" _That_ is what's holding you together," he murmured before collapsing into hysterics. "The famous Guard Dog has trained his servants well! You'll fetch but where's the bone?"

A raging growl escapes your throat as you lunge but the butler doesn't allow you to so much as graze his master.

"Go to hell!" you yelled.

"Ladies first." He smiles, turning on his heel towards the door. "Claude," he called as you hang from the very man's grip, kneecaps straining at the angle. "Wipe every single detail of that brat from her mind... She's a Trancy servant now."

"Yes, your highness."

"No, _no_! _Stay away from me!"_

Your scream roars throughout the halls as the door to your prison falls close, leaving you alone in the dark with the very monsters that reside within it. The sinful earl leave you to fester in your fears with a smile on his poison coated lips.

_Ciel..._

A tear escapes the corner of your empty gaze and with it everything else.

**~~~**

It takes a moment for your mind to recognize it's surroundings, skin pruning from being steeped in water for too long. You eye them in confusion and, with slow reflexes, turn the faucet off. You've long since finished washing the dishes. Night has fallen, you realize, and you've only just now completed your chores. When did you become so slow?

Your senses were unnervingly quiet today, all demons keeping to themselves. Alois had yet to seek you out, leaving you worried about the day to come. Your stomach rumbles, craving food. Seeing as you're still being punished for reasons you're unsure of you don't even try to go looking for food even if you're in the kitchen. You've learned to obey the orders given to you.

The chime of a bell grabs your attention and your throat tightens uncomfortably at where it hails from. Swallowing the pressure you ignore the ache in your throat and head to the earl's bedroom, hands trembling at your sides.

~~~

Upon knocking on the door you enter, wincing at the darkness within. You urge the nightmares to remain where you won't think of them. Peering inside you spot the blond sitting up in his bed, his blue eyes piercing yours from across the room.

"Where's Claude?" He frowns when you shake your head, not knowing the ravenet's whereabouts. He pouts after a moment, laying back down, his nightwear tangling around his lean body.

"Come in and shut the door," he snapped and you jump, hurrying to do so. Once you do you're left in the dimly lit room and worry grips you tightly.

"He supposed to be here," the boy mumbled, "but he's not."

Silence is all you can give in reply.

"Stop standing around," he sighed before waving at the space next to him, now laying on his stomach. Your feet are stuck to the carpet.

"(Y/n)," he warned and you close your eyes, body quivering in complete terror as you force yourself towards His Highness. Turning away from him, you slowly lift yourself onto the mattress.

A gasp tears from your lips as arms wrap around you, yanking you down roughly. You tense in the embrace, warm but foreboding. The quietude is terrifying. You don't dare move, afraid of what punishments would be dealt.

The feeling of his arms is something strange, you being used to beatings and not embraces. Sometimes he'd be in a good mood and would grab at your hands before pulling you into a dance, or would mindlessly play with your hair if you stood close enough. He could be so childish and innocent in one moment and the devil himself in the next.

"You've lost more weight," he commented, tightening his hold on you as you wince, bruises always fresh. "Maybe I should feed you more."

Silence.

"You used to be so loud," he chuckled, "so rude. Look at you now, obedient as a dog... My dog." As he whispers his lips trail across your shoulder. Tears pool in your eyes, bile rising in your throat. You didn't like his touch. You didn't like anyone's touch.

_Get off, get off, get off_ _—_

"You're mine now," he said in your ear. "Not his."

 _Who's?_ You think. _Claude's?_ Why would you be the butler's? The confusion allows a headache to form.

"Whose are you, little witch?" he asked, digging his nails into your waist as you hold back a whimper.

"Y- _yours_ ," you choked, blood close to surfacing.

"Good," Alois sighed, resting his forehead against your back, right between your shoulder blades. His breath tickles, seeping passed the thin cloth of your uniform as his fingers skitter across the skin above your hip. Swiftly, he pulls you onto your back, lying so that your chest cushions his head. "Play with my hair," he mumbled into your collarbone, eyes closed.

You gulp and raise your hands, gradually losing sight of your fingertips within his light strands. He seems to ignore the tremor in your limbs as he nudges into you, sighing as you continue his peculiar request.

You almost drift away, mind growing numb to the situation when something wet sinks into your shirt, quickly spreading as time goes on. Glancing down, you feel something akin to a leash tighten around your lungs at the sight of tears streaming from the corner of the earl's eyes. No whimpers echo into the night or sobs for that matter, leaving a sincere silence and your subtle confusion.

**~~~**

It was a privilege to be able to work in the garden. It was a beautiful day at last and you were able to enjoy the sun and the music of nature. Trimming the flowers and such was anything but a chore in your mind, almost border-lining entertainment if you were being honest.

"(Y/n)!"

You flinch at the sound of your name being called by a cheerful tone. Glancing over your shoulder, you wait until Alois's familiar boots skip into view, heart beating rapidly at what he desired from you now.

 _It had almost been a peaceful morning_ , you think, _but then again I did get a rather peaceful night._

"Look at what I found!" The blond thrust his hands before you, opening them to reveal a luminescent butterfly, one of its metallic blue wings broken but still gorgeous in color.

 _Did he do that?_ You wonder, observing the poor insect.

"Isn't it pretty? I saved it from a spider web," Alois explained, raising his pointer finger as the winged creature struggled to hang on to it.

"That was awfully kind of you," a deep voice cut in, scaring you easily as your senses thwart you with pinpricks. Shivering, you turn back to your chore as the earl looks to his other servant.

"Ah, there you are Claude. Fetch me an insect cage!"

"An insect cage?"

"Yes. I'll put this in it."

"I doubt it will fly away in that state, even without a cage."

"Are you talking back to me?" The voice of the boy changes drastically and you freeze, pupils dilating in fear.

"No."

"Not just a cage. Flowers, too! So that when it's mad with thirst for nectar, it can drink as it pleases."

"Certainly."

An upset grunt was heard near you before something tickled your ear. You made sure to stand still as the blond leaned in, fixing the butterfly to your pinned up hair.

"There!" he chirped, grinning at his handiwork, no doubt. "Now it has someplace to stay while Claude fetches its new home. Take care of it, (y/n)," he ordered before skipping off, carefree as a bird. Shifting in your spot you look up at the ravenet, raising a hand towards the insect.

"Make your way to the master's bedroom, the cage shall be there when you arrive," he said before dismissing himself.

You blink, moving the delicate creature to the palm of your hand instead of hanging on for dear life to your hair. A frown forms on your lips at the painful wince you see in its movements, the ripped wing the source of its discomfort most likely.

 _Let's get you to your new home_ , you think, keeping it close for safety. _I'm sorry it had to be here._

**~~~**

When Alois said 'flowers' you didn't think he meant a roomful of them, but you assumed Claude knew best as you made your way over the golden cage on the bed nearby. Opening the small door you carefully leave the wounded insect inside upon the stem of the blue plant. It flutters its wings as you withdraw from it almost as if in thanks. You crack a pitiful thing of a smile and close its door before leaving the room.

**~~~**

Your next chore was washing the dining room windows, but on your way there you happened to pass the triplets. The far left facing you, Canterbury, was carrying a bucket for water while the rest had rags. You suppose it was their turn to clean the floors.

Passing by them with a subtle glance you start down the halls towards the kitchen where they had been traveling from. Not before you heard voices behind you, however.

"She's even quieter than we used to be."

"Well, she does have blades."

"Sharp, sharp blades."

You pause, scowling back over your shoulder at the demons in shock.

 _'You're talking?'_ you mouth and they understand, highly intelligent as they should be.

"Master's orders."

"Brat's orders, you mean."

"Such a pain."

You almost giggle at that, covering your broken grin with the back of your hand.

"Oh, look, we made her smile."

"Who knew she had such a pretty smile?"

"How cute, how cute."

Shaking your head at the three, you wave goodbye, going to finish your usual chores as they did so as well.

**~~~**

In the dead of the night, you find yourself alert, getting a head start on work as you pace the halls. Lingering stares are given towards the windows but you know better than to take a step outside the house--your prison.

It's late, or early for that matter when she finds you, sweeping the kitchen floors mindlessly. A warm hand pulls you from your almost hypnotized state and you crack an innocent grin at the she-demon as she sighs down at you. The little joy you have leaves and you realize you'd done it again, spaced out for far too long.

"You must rest," she told you and you nod, slowly. "Come along." She helps you back to your shared room, although she's never there unless to change.

 _Demons don't sleep_ , you tell yourself suddenly aware that you're in your cold, uncomfortable bed.

"Sleep in peace," Hannah calls, the door closing behind her. And for once, nightmares spare you.

**< ><><>**

**W E  A R E  B A C K !**

Welcome to the much-awaited sequel to _Years to Seconds_ , _Months to Millenniums_! I know, the title is **so** original, don't ask me how I came up with it I just did.

Before I lose your interest, I wanted to tell you all a few things. First off, the POV shifts from third to first for the reader. I was playing around with my writing style while I wrote so there might be some changes in your POV. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

ALSO, this is the prologue for a reason, meaning the next chapter will be taking place a a few months after the bit above. I know most of you have seen season two of Black Butler and of course the first episode and I wanted to make clear that during all this time Sebastian is searching as Wikia does state that season two takes place a year and 3(?) months after the ending of the first season.

ALSO also, seeing as season two is shorter than season one, this story will be WAY shorter than YTS. Therefore, I will be updating every other week. I hope you all understand.

Now for the thing you've all been waiting for...

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S)  O F  T H E  W E E K ♚

If you had your own symbol, be it your demon contract or signature, what would it be?

_I think mine would be gold inverted star with vines making a nonagon around it._

Have you all gotten a chance to see the trailer for MtM?

_I would hope so! It's literally above in the video section._

Have you gotten a chance to listen to the Spotify playlists as well as the two bonus songs on YouTube?

_Hope so for that, too!_

Does my writing for Alois and Claude do them justice so far? Be honest with me.

_I need to know!_

 


	2. 1

__

_Ever since I was little I always had a knack for noticing details. The smallest things would come to mind, giving the memory easy access to the present. One dainty little aspect and that scene--that entire episode--would replay in my mind. But even though I always thought myself a person who remembered nearly everything, I couldn't pinpoint a great many things nowadays._

_If it was a cheerful image it would fade quickly, but if it was dark it repeated like a broken record, scraping back to the beginning over and over until the insanity wiped it away. It was then that I struggled to remind myself it was all over._

Or is it? _I heard myself whisper silently._

_The own sound of my voice in my head was foreign to me; it had been such a long time since I'd really heard it. My eyelids fluttered, straining against the bright light around me. I blinked and focused on my surroundings once more. The same outlook greeted me, yet I had no idea where I was. I didn't remember this place, but something told me I did._

Liquid gold _, I heard myself think as my (e/c) irises flickered to the ground. The sea of the gleaming hue quivered beneath my feet and I curled my toes unconsciously._

Obscure horizon _, I listed off, dazed as I tilted my head back taking in the shivering sky. The clouds did their best to mirror the ground, but an offish vanilla was the only color it could match._

And a... _My eyes wandered around me as my thoughts paused. Odd, I couldn't name the next item, yet it was on the tip of my tongue. What was it again? I could have sworn it would be here..._

No, how would I know what to expect when I don't know this place? _I questioned myself in confusion._

B̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶, _another part of me thinks, one I can't quite hear. The heels of my feet spun on the silk-like floor as I circled, searching for...what? I had no clue. Sighing, I felt my fingers curl into my palms out of frustration._

Why do I do this? _My chest tightened as I suddenly found it hard to breathe._ I frustrate myself and I don't even know why, and it just makes me more upset _... A headache begins to form. My lips tightened against my gritted teeth as I shook, biting back sobs I knew would be too painful to bear._

Don't cry _, I ordered,_ it just makes it worse...

_Slowly, I forced myself to relax taking deep breaths and counting each one. That seemed to help me, numbering my breaths, remembering them, knowing where I was in that moment as my lungs worked. In and out, even and precise, every time it was the same and it was familiar._

_When I had calmed down a good amount, I opened my eyes just now realizing I had closed them and was greeted by a figure. My heart skipped a beat, but I didn't flinch at the sight of them._

_"Still the same as ever, I see." The boy commented offering a slim smile. The gold surroundings echoed off him, seeming to give the outsider a spotlight of his own. His dark hair and bright eye contrasted against the lustrous color around us, allowing him a faded blue outlook. Though, there was a blotch of black among his serene face—an eyepatch. It looked good on him. The rest of his clothes matched his hair and the hue mixed with the land around us, creating a beautiful collaboration of color._

Gold and navy _. My eyes squinted at the male before me._ They go well together.

̶T̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶.

_"Will your eyes always be raw and sore when I greet you? I didn't think you would be so distressed when you saw me." His eye lowered to take in my attire, and somehow I knew he had done this before. Taking in his cornflower blue iris, I noticed a flash of emotion pass through it. "I do miss my jacket adorning you. It fit quite well and gave off the sense..." His eye went dark as he glanced away, the gorgeous color fading to a dull gray as the earlier grin slipped into a frown._

_I opened my mouth to speak and felt my throat burn in disagreement. Instead, I waved my hand towards him, telling him to continue as I tilted my head questionably._

The sense that what? _I wanted to ask_.

_The person blinked and the blue resurfaced as he smirked. One slim hand rose towards me as the navyet took a step back ever so slightly. Why was he reaching, yet pulling away?_

_"It gave off the sense that you'd always have a piece of me with you."_

_I felt my eyes widen a fraction as my heart quickened. For some reason his words struck me._

Am I... _My brows furrowed._ Am I sad because he said that? _I shook my head. It did, but there's something else in the mix._

_My breath hitched as I looked up. I choked on words, and only breathless huffs spilled from my lips. Stumbling one step forward I stared at the stranger. He walked away, his back facing me._

_My hand reached for him eagerly, but I recoiled as something stung inside of me. I winced and the newcomer turned just to where his chin skimmed his left shoulder. The male's partnering hand was placed in his pocket. While his posture showed a relaxed, acceptable viewpoint that sapphire orb revealed something else._

_..._ What? _I thought breathlessly. Yet it confessed some sort of weakness, something close to sadness, but stronger._

_His head tilted ever so slightly as something invisible stabbed at my chest. That smile was both beautiful and heartbreaking as it graced his face._

_"...See you."_

_Tears pooled in my eyes suddenly as a strong wind picked up blowing my hair back harshly. I took a breath and struggled to move forward as the person walked away._

Wait! _I went to scream and immediately regretted it as my throat ripped and warmth flooded my mouth. I called silently for the boy, feeling his name on my lips, practically begging to be let out. I clawed at the air trying to reach him, to recall him, but it was no use..._

_I couldn't remember him._

**~~~**

Someone called my name and I searched through the white noise to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. A wave of heat washed over me as I shifted, feeling the firm mattress beneath my aching back and the thin sheet slip revealing my bare feet. Snapping my eyes open, I gasped as a blurred figure leaned over me. Blinking repeatedly, I relaxed when I saw the familiar face.

"(Y/n)?" Her navy eyes were soft as she gazed upon me. Something jumped in my chest, but I ignored it, pushing the sense away.

I nodded to tell her I'd heard her and pushed myself up into a sitting position. Running a hand through my hair, I froze as my fingers grew stuck in the long (h/c) strands. Hannah laughed softly, the sound reminding me of wind chimes, as she assisted me in untangling my hand from the bird's nest that was my head.

"Your hair is growing longer," she sighed as she held my hand with a small smile picking up the brush on my bedside table. I exhaled deeply through my nose as she began to brush it and leaned towards the kind woman. With my dominant hand I motioned to her silvery locks that reached passed her waist with a teasing but tired grin. "Yes, I have no room to criticize you on this matter, I'm afraid." We both beamed at each other, amused.

Once Hannah was done taming my hair she placed the brush back where it had previously laid and fetched me a wet rag to wash my face with. I stretched and slid out of bed, pulling my uniform from its hanger on the door. My hand ghosted over the mostly white apron that hid the navy fabric beneath. The color made me squint as something played at the edge of my mind before collapsing into a muddled heap.

I let go of the strange familiarity and slid into the dress making sure to pull the skirt as far down as I could. Sadly no matter how much I fussed over the edges I would never get any more coverage. The trimming just barely reached passed my kneecaps, but it showed more leg than I would have liked.

Turning I recoil from the sudden form behind me and smile at the fellow servant before accepting the rag she had gotten for me.

"You seem a bit out of sorts today, are you alright?" The kind woman frowned as I wiped at my face, cleaning my eyes of a light amount of crust. Had my eyes gotten moist sometime in the night and dried out? I shrugged the thought off and shook my head at Hannah.

 _I'm fine_ , I mouthed silently. Her frown deepened, but she relaxed and gave into my short reply. Sitting on my bed once more, I pulled on my black heeled shoes and blinked as the maid started to style my hair in its usual updo. I'd used to just braid my hair, but certain actions had caused me to start wearing it up instead of semi-freely. My scalp still stung at the memory.

Sighing quietly I pushed off the mattress and slid a stray piece of hair from my face following the lavenderette out of our small room. Our footsteps were quiet as we made our way down the dark hallways soon coming to stop at a pair of doors. Hannah ushered me in first causing me to nod at the sight of the three fellow servants. Their amber colored eyes took in my form much like always as I approached the three calmly.

The triplets Thompson, Timber, and Canterbury were as silent as I was and stayed close to each other much like myself to Hannah. One way or another I was always split from the kind woman, but those three were never parted.

The four of us servants hurried to fix the dining room for our master, the owner of the mansion we all worked and lived in. I did my usual duty of straightening the tablecloth and its holdings,as well as cleaning the windows. Making sure there were no smudges on the translucent glass, my pupils froze at the sight of a bird swooping by, catching some type of bug in mid-flight. I observed its feathers, which were the color of ash, and felt somehow disappointed.

 _What's with me and colors today?_ I frowned at myself and quickly dried the window panes.

Once everything was as perfect as it could possibly be our small group rested in our usual spots. The triplets stayed near the corner of the room, while Hannah and I took up residence a few feet behind His Highness' chair.

The lavenderette and I took turns in serving our boss every day but really he chose. We were used to him 'accidentally' dropping his eating utensils or spilling something that would always stain. Today was technically my turn to take care of the earl and I could feel my insides shivering as footsteps sounded outside the doors to the room.

No one made a sound as the boy walked in, his butler holding the door with one, white-gloved hand. The blond paid no attention to us as he strolled in, plopping himself down in his chair rather indecently, his long legs hanging over the side like some toddler.

"Your Highness," Claude sighed as he stood behind our master's chair ready to push it in. The boy huffed and righted himself in his seat as the black-haired server of his swiftly completed his action. The butler's glasses glinted in the poor sunlight that streamed through the recently cleaned windows as his head turned just a bit. His dark eyes ghosted over the five of us but froze on me.

As I had done many times before, I forced myself to feign a calm composure, keeping my gaze on the carpet like I had been ordered to do so long ago. It was one of the first things I had ever been taught when becoming a maid to the Trancy manor. So with an unwavering focus on the carpet beneath me, I repeated the rule silently in my head.

_A servant is never to look their master in the eye._

Soon the man made his way to the kitchen, no doubt to retrieve the earl's meal. He returned quickly with the food and retreated to get a head start on work like usual. I abhorred when Claude left the blond's side. That demon was the only thing that could control the boy and that was only a small amount of the time.

"Tch."

I blinked at hearing the disgusted scoff of his. I didn't dare to see what had made him act in such a way. He would voice it if I knew him at all.

"These biscuits are terribly bland."

_Good to know I can expect something..._

I felt his eyes turn towards me and internally cringed. Sometimes it felt like he could hear my most private thoughts. That was the only voice I had left anymore.

"(Y/n)." I fought back a wince at his numb tone as my heart slowly started to pound in its cavity. Had he actually heard me? It was ridiculous, but I was terrified. "Pass me the butter."

I froze feeling every muscle in my body cease up. My mind chose when to remember, not me.

**_"Pass me the butter, (y/n)."_ **

_No_ , I instantly wanted to say seeing the images replay over and over in my head. The scratch of the record as it fought against the needle, it wanted nothing more than to resume and forget. But blood stained far too deep and hers did that morning—

"(Y/N)!"

I jerked in my spot at both the yell from His Highness and the soft touch of Hannah as she tried to pull me from my trance. Hurrying forward, I passed by the blond's seat, stopping short on his right. My hand shook as I reached out grabbing the butter on a slim porcelain plate and placed it in front of the earl.

Just as I was retreating to go back to Hannah's side I felt pain pulse through me and stopped in mid-turn. My eyes widened as my eyes came to rest on where my hand had been withdrawing.

The silver butter knife that had been laying next to the lord's plate was now sunk into the tablecloth, leaving a dent in the wood beneath no doubt. I felt my muscles convulse on my forearm as my fingers twitched, blood streaming down the silver utensil from where it had punctured my hand. I tasted the horrid liquid in my mouth from biting my bottom lip. I couldn't make a sound or it would hurt even more.

"Ugh..." His Highness sighed tilting his head lazily at my wounded hand stuck in midair, just an inch or so off the table. "My knife is ruined and look"—my teeth sunk deeper into my skin as his pale hand forced my hand flat against the stained tablecloth, causing the slight bumps of the utensil to shred even more flesh—"you've stained the cloth with your disgusting fluids."

My head jerked down as he ripped the knife from the back of my hand sending drops of scarlet across the room. My legs buckled as I faltered, bringing my hand to my chest as I cradled it in pure agony. This wasn't the worst wound, it would heal with time.

"Already crying? Pathetic." At his bored tone, I just realized the water leaking from my eyes and did my best to hold back the pained sobs that threatened the spill forth. "Clean this up, or Claude will get angry." The earl laughed loudly as I winced and lowered to grab the weapon that had brought me pain just seconds ago. He'd dropped it leaving a few drops of blood to stain the carpet.

With the silver butter knife in my crimson grip, I used my good hand to clean up the rest of the mess as best as I could. Just as I was dabbing up the last bit of liquid on the table (the stain still there, unfortunately) I saw the blond move out of the corner of my eye. I gritted my teeth behind tight lips as the sound of glass shattering echoed, then next a door opening.

"Claude look at the mess she made! She needs to be punished again!" The Earl Trancy yelled as I bowed my head beginning to shake severely.

 _No_. _Please no_... The sound of tearing flesh and chains scraping against the stone ground drifted as I inhaled a shivering breath. _No more_... I winced as the pain started to echo within me. _No more punishments...!_

"Pick up the glass." I blinked at the sound of the demon's voice and turned to grab the bloodied rag. A gasp tore from my throat as I was forced to my knees, a prickling hand on the back of my neck forcing me to look at the pile of broken glass like a dog at its mess.

"With your hands," the butler ordered coldly as I closed my eyes afraid. His aching touch disappeared as my trembling fingers began to pick up the shards. More blood poured from my fingertips as the glass stuck my skin repeatedly like a needle to a new seamstress. I was only halfway done when the earl and butler made their way out of the dining room. "Clean this mess up."

Once the door was closed and their footsteps echoed away I slowed my movements. Hannah was in front of me in the next second turning my hand over and I watched with blurred vision as the pieces of glass fell onto a clean rag.

"I'll finish this and then tend to your hand," she promised quietly as I nodded taking short, uneven breaths. Getting to my feet I saw that the triplets were already cleaning up breakfast and the bloodied tablecloth whispering quietly to themselves.

My gaze landed on the windows where Canterbury, the farther right of the three, wiped at a single window pane. A single drop of blood was smeared across the transparent surface causing the outside world to appear hellish in the red hue.

It seemed far more appealing than the mansion I had come to call home.

**< ><><>**

Won't be long before episode one comes along! Stay tuned!

Also, I think there was some confusion with the whole POV. I haven't permanently changed over to "you" that was in the prologue. There are a few POV switches like that from time to time but for the majority of this story it will be in first person like "I" and stuff. Sorry for the miscommunication.

Here are the covers for the sequel, first is the one you see on Wattpad made by a lovely friend of mine on Amino, InnerEnigma. The other is the original and made by me and used for Quotev. Hopefully y'all enjoy the close ups.

Also, on my tumblr (called GhistWrite) you can find the demon symbols of Hannah, Claude, and Sebastian with the flowers that symbolize the reader (you), Alois, and Ciel. Go and download them and tell me which you choose as your favorite! They were also made by InnerEnigma.[ LINK HERE.](https://ghistwrite.tumblr.com/post/172655367237/ghistwrite-these-lovely-logos-were-made-by)

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

Seeing as the dream landscape is back I wanted to ask what your dream goals are as of now. What do you aspire to be? What is on your bucket list?

_I assume you guys know I love writing, so being author seems a good way to go. I've never really written out a bucket list but I ought to because I know I want to go skydiving, visit Japan, and have a trip to Disney World. The closest I've ever gotten is Disneyland._

 


	3. 2

My hands ached, a painful heartbeat coming from the wounds as I pulled the sheets from another guest bed. The bandages hugging my shredded skin kept the blood from slipping passed the (so far) ivory fabric as I placed it within a basket along with numerous others. A small breath escaped my nose as I bent over grabbing the bin and hoisting it onto my hip to make my way to the next room.

 _A few more and then they need to be washed_ , I thought, feeling my shoes click against the carpet almost inaudibly. Turning the knob of the next door on my right I made my way inside, setting the basket down beside the bed. Pausing to observe the small streams of sunlight filtering through the curtains I wondered if it would be sunny again tomorrow. Dulls days were common here.

Casting the mindless question away I leaned over the bed to rid itself of its covers. Today I was actually allowed to labor around the mansion so I couldn't dawdle. Fortunately, the demon butler had somehow frees me of the earl's bizarre order of staying locked up in his office—my supposed punishment for the scene at breakfast.

My days usually passed as such: serve Alois breakfast, follow him to his office, and clean what little I could before he cut into the small chores. The blond had explained to me long ago that he grew bored quickly and I was the only one besides Claude interesting enough to entertain him.

 ** _"Besides,"_** he'd frowned, **_"Claude's always busy and has a face of stone. You actually respond!"_**

The sound of a door closing made me freeze and I kept my eyes glued to my chore.

**_"But none of that matters, I'll always find you one way or another if you're not with me."_ **

"I'm so bored~" said person groaned as I bent down and placed the sheets into their holder. "Claude says lunch will be served soon, but..."

My eyes landed on the purple and brown boots of the blond's as he stood next to me.

"Food is not very entertaining either."

I flinched as the hamper was kicked across the room, rolling half-hazardously as the white sheets tumbled out, littering the floor. I eyed the mess tiredly used to such 'accidents.'

 _At least they weren't clean._ I tried to look on the bright side as I reached for the closest blanket.

"Oh, look!" Alois exclaimed, yanking my hurt hand towards him as I kept my gaze below me, wincing from the harsh grip. "You already got fixed up? Not much of a punishment when you're rewarded straight after, don't you think?"

My lips pressed together in discomfort as the boy began to unravel the pieces of cloth so carefully wrapped by Hannah. The more the strip pooled at our feet the bloodier they became. Pain began to surface.

He laughed out, "Look! It's already healing! No matter what I do you always find a way to recover. I can't make a scratch, let alone a scar, when you keep mending!" He giggled like the maniac I knew him as. My hands were still hurt, they barely looked any better to me, but it could've been that I was just used to never seeing anything fully healed. After all, there wasn't a day that went by where I was covered in bruises or cruelly placed cuts.

I stood, stiff as stone waiting for this nightmare to end. Unfortunately, the young lord was not finished with me yet.

My eyes automatically shut as I was pushed onto the bed behind me. It was stripped leaving only the bare mattress beneath which creaked as more weight was added. I began to shake as I felt Trancy pin me down, forcefully shoving his thumb into the biggest wound on my hand. My face scrunched up at the pain of his nail ripping into what had only just begun to heal.

Alois laughed harder, his breath blowing over my face. I felt his other hand travel up my leg hanging off the bed, adding pressure as it grew higher. Bile rose in my throat as images played on behind my closed eyelids, fingers looming, corrupting.

_No, no, no...!_

**_His slimy hands were everywhere, suffocating me like the water I'd drowned in. His disgusting breath seeped into my skin leaving a rotting trail of saliva in its wake as I screamed at the top of my lungs for someone to save me._ **

**_No one ever did._ **

The feeling of the carpeted floor greeted me as my back slammed against a wall.

"I broke you again!" The blue eyed boy declared as I shuddered in the corner of the room, my knees against my chest as I buried my head into my arms. Terrified, tears streamed from my wide eyes as I felt my powers pulse inside of me, trying to push through the wall I had built long ago. They rumbled, swirling like storm clouds as I fought to ignore them.

_No_ _,_ _not again!_ _I can't let them out. Stay in control—just stay in control._

"What did Claude teach you, (y/n)?" The lunatic purred, skipping over. I could feel his eyes on the white highlights of my hair as I cowered in his approach. "You know if you use your power—"

 _No!_ I formed a tighter ball.

"—you get punished!" He roared in merriment and my shoulders jumped, causing my quivering form to suffer in its tight spot. I gasped sending a discomforting sting through my throat as he snatched my wrist, yanking me forward. I stumbled over the carpet feeling it burn the revealed skin of my legs. Alois practically dragged me out of the room. "I think you deserve a trip to the cellar."

My heart thundered in my chest as I pulled at the iron grip on me. I tried to say "no" but all that was heard was a breathless wheeze as I struggled to form words. My weak movements came to a close as a hand whipped across my face leaving a burning sensation in its wake. I winced, my head being tossed to the side by the amount of strength in the slap.

"Quit your squirming, maggot! You deserve to rot in the dark!" Alois seethed, wrenching me behind him like I was and collared animal.

Before I knew it we were outside the room I'd come to loathe. That chamber held my own private hell and when the door creaked open I could still smell my blood on the walls, staining like disgusting wine on a cloth. I cried out as the insane Trancy dragged me into the dark pit pushing me against the back wall as I sobbed for him to _please_ stop. My voice was cracked and raw as warmth flooded my mouth making me choke as my wrists were trapped in iron cuffs.

"Look at that," Alois chuckled grabbing my chin roughly, forcing my mouth open as his fingers intruded far passed my lips. The taste of my blood made me gag as well as his hand as he forced my tongue down against the bottom of my mouth. He only watched in amusement as I contended with his grimy fingers. "That order was one of my favorites, you know. I never thought Claude would take silence so far!"

Hot tears dripped from my jaw as his hands retreated, leaving me chained to the wall as I pulled and sobbed. I sounded like some tortured experiment and I realized it because I was one. I begged for forgiveness, for anything, but blood lodged its way into my throat, causing me to choke and cough on my strained words. I collapsed to my knees trying everything in my power to breathe as chains forced my hands to stay in midair.

"Let's see how a whole night will treat you! I'm positive it will be worth the wait..."

I struggled against my rusted jail as he walked into the doorway, going to shut the massive metal door. I was still desperately heaving for as he smiled at me, blue eyes wide and dangerous as they met mine.

"Looking me in the eye, are you? What a great rule you've broken! No lunch or dinner! Claude will be angry, though..." He pouted as I closed my eyes sagging in defeat. It was best to accept what I was given, nothing would ever change it would only ever get worse.

No matter how much I pleaded or supplicated, I would never receive a moment's rest. Pain was an everyday occurrence in the Trancy manor, I just had to accept it.

 _Accept this is reality,_ I thought numbly, _just a_ _ccept this is_ _as_ _reality..._

The door shut and any light was ripped from me as darkness clouded my vision. I retreated into my corner hiding my head in my arms as I cried, spitting blood when a large amount had surfaced in my mouth. My hands stung, my face was bruised, and my throat burned as I sat there. All that I heard was the resound of light footsteps and his psychotic laughter.

_Low and behold his highness, Alois Trancy..._

I abhorred being put in here, despised it. There were nightmares that came from this exact room--from the earl and his demon. I'd had to relive being stuck in here for days without food or water, yet I'd never perished.

**_"So weak! Look at her. Pathetic, isn't she, Claude? Yet she won't give up... She just won't die!"_ **

_Only suffering... Only pain._

Blades had sunk into my skin, blood had stained these floors--were still on these floors. It was dried on the cuffs as well, caused by pulling relentlessly at them for hours when I had first been put in here. Months. I had been here for months, hadn't I? The beginning mashed with the present. I couldn't remember when I had gotten here or when the pain had begun.

 _Begun_? My heartbeat echoed. _It never_ _ended_...

My nightmares of being tortured, dunked in water to drowned, dosed with lethal drugs that ruined my senses... They were all real, and it drove me insane every time I entered this damned room. My own personal hell came to torment me.

When I thought back to the last few months all I remembered was working here, being punished greatly like this every once in awhile, and so on. I'd been massacred here but had miraculously survived due to my linage.

_How long?_

My point in time was a mess. I couldn't even remember what day it was. The date was a fickle thing to someone locked up for so long. Yet, sometimes, when I was alone I had the feeling there were things I was supposed to do as my body recalled a schedule I no longer knew.

Strangely, I could think of a day when I'd still had my voice and things had been different. The first few weeks here, possibly? I wasn't sure but I had always ended up doing the oddest of things when growing lost in my head. Once I had gone into the kitchen where Claude had been cleaning the dishes from lunch...

_"What is it?" He asked coldly never looking at me so much as once._

_"Oh... Isn't there something I was supposed to do in here?" I asked hesitantly, glimpsing around._

_"Like what?"_

_"I'm not sure... Maybe bringing something to...His Highness?"_

_"The only thing to bring to him is his daily refreshment and that is my duty. Besides, his highness_ _prefers it be delivered_ _in the late afternoon."_

_"I see_ _. I'm sorry_ _."_

He had only ignored me in the beginning, but around that time was when the biggest cruelty had been placed.

My fingers twitched above me, wanting to run over my sore throat. The scars are gone and I clouding understand why when my shoulders were still littered with them.

I swallowed and gagged at the taste, spitting once more.

The worst thing about living here were the penances. I had been hit, stabbed, poisoned, you name it. None of it had ended in death, but sometimes this permanent wound within made me think it would someday. I couldn't remember exactly why he'd ordered such a thing. I suppose my voice had gotten annoying, or maybe I had screamed too loudly at some point when he'd abused me. All it took was one slip up and I was waking up from a forced surgery with a raw throat.

Alois had ordered Claude to keep me from speaking out of hand and I'd been given blades.  
That's why I didn't talk, why I didn't cry like I had just done. If I spoke the sharp shards would clink against one another shredding any skin they could reach causing blood to spill. It was then I started to choke.

 _It's better than_... I tensed in my curled up position feeling his hands all over me again. The insane earl touched me, but he had never once gone that far. The blond's boldest move in that cruelty had been today.

I shivered from the chill within the numbing dark and sighed. I would be stuck in here with only my thoughts as company for the rest of the day and night. Tears formed, but I blinked them away forcing myself to remember happy memories instead of the scarring nightmares I faced every other night.

 _Let's see_... I thought, tumbling through the layers of my destitute mind. I paused when something popped up, a stray memory. I was young, around two or three. My mother was beside me, a blurred figure as she played with me, my few toys littering the ground. It was around the next year she'd started to change....

 _No_ , I stated abruptly, _keep that happy thought._ Her beautiful smile, hazy, but unforgettable as she tickled me and made faces like any other mother would at her child. She had loved me then and my heart ached for the distant time.

I was too young to see everything clearly, but I remembered far more as an infant than humans probably should. I could hear her playful voice in my head as I shut my eyes feeling a weight on my heart as her words drifted.

**_"I love you..." Her tone was soft and eyes brimming with joy._ **

With a somber sigh, I let the recollection go _._

_...You used to._   
  
  


**~~~**   
  
  


My head jerked up as I caught myself slipping from my sleep position. Blinking, I realized my eyes had gotten accustomed to the dark, yet nothing was to be seen or heard this far into the manor. Was it still daytime? My internal clock had been busted ever since I got here.

Sighing, I rotated my neck and felt it pop painfully as I shifted my arms with gritted teeth. They were asleep from being left to hang above me. Holding back an aching groan, I slid up the wall to my feet and stretched trying to get feeling back into my hands.

 _How much longer?_ I thought helplessly. _If I go back to sleep I might..._ I didn't want to have another nightmare, especially not in the room I envisioned within it. Besides if I was asleep and Claude or Alois walked in...

I shuttered at the thought and was disappointed to find my hands were still on the verge of bleeding when I flexed them. My face still hurt a bit, but it was fading slowly. I tried to focus on anything before something bad popped up within the dark. I had half a mind to just start counting, but something told me it was better to think, better to remember.

 _What's there? All of my memories lead to a bad end...it's not worth it._ The only thing that could soothe me at the moment was nearly on the other side of the mansion. I sighed at the thought of my secret paradise.

Ever since my first day in this hell hole I'd gone there after a bad day, having stumbled upon it at some point in time I couldn't remember. I'd nearly been caught once or twice by the fellow staff, but it was worth it. There was just something calming about that place, even though it was almost like the room I inhabited. Dark, spacious, silent...

 _I'll visit when I get out of here_ , I decided.

So, I started to count. The pace was slow, falling into step with my chest as I breathed, tapping my fingers against my cuffs for physical distraction. I envisioned the numbers in my head.

_One hundred_ _..._

_Two hundred_ _..._

I was a simple-minded girl, I had to be when thrown into this type of situation. I needed something to distract me or I would go mad. I'd already done so enough times and going completely insane was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

 _I will at some point, though, right?_ I contemplated and shook my head continuing my counting getting close to reaching a thousand.

_664...665...666..._

'6...6...6' I mouthed tiredly feeling the blades click with every quick breath.

 _That number_ , I thought unconsciously as I began to shake, _it's the devil's number, isn't it? Or at least...unlucky._

Devils. I sobbed and winced. The first thing that used to come to mind was red forms with horns and pointed tails. As a child, I would connect bad things to the devil, or a monster. Blame it on bad luck and misfortune. But as I got older I realized the only devils I had ever faced were my own kind. My father had been the first to be seen as such, then my brother, then...

Blurred images seemed to batter about my brain as I blinked at the dark room around me.

 _That damn earl is a devil...and so is his demon..._ Yet it felt like I was leaving someone out--no some _people_ out. I felt like there should have been more monsters in my life. Ridiculous.

 _Why's that?_ _I only know a handful of people_ , I stated silently with a frown. _My father, my mother, my brother, then Alois, Claude, Hannah, and the triplets._ Those were the only people I knew of. Sure I had spoken to a few strangers on occasion, but that was months ago before I had fallen into the past. _Why do I feel like I know more people? Am I going crazy?_

I shook my head weakly. _I'm thinking to myself, battling myself every day, I work for a damn psycho..._ I listed off in a heartbeat. _I'm already insane._

Funny how a number leads to all these stupid, useless thoughts. Although, what else was there in the pitch black? I couldn't see or hear anything, but I could taste the disgusting, leftover blood I couldn't spit out. I could feel my body sag against the wall as my arms threatened to dislocate from their sockets.

 _Still have_ _my_ _senses though_ , I reminded myself. The prickles in my skin, the emotions that didn't belong to me... The previous feeling—a demon was around. Five were living here in reality so I couldn't _not_ sense them.

 _It's weird that Hannah's_ _one_ , I told myself once more. _She's so nice. The triplets aren't typically 'nice_ _,'_ _but they don't bother me at least._

Something told me they were anything but that, though. Had they'd done something to me I couldn't remember? Did they actually bother me in hindsight?

Claude's dull gold eyes pierced my thoughts as I recoiled at the image of him.

Demons were strange things indeed, just like myself but more common in my life than ever. Witches were apparently rare here as I never seen another. I'd been that, though, when...

I blinked.

 _I can't remember._ Well, I recalled finding out Hannah and the rest had been demons when I'd felt the pricks on my skin. That sense had started way back...

 _That can't be right._ _How_ _would I have sensed them at_ ** _that_** _age?_ I searched through my memories to remember the sense of needles prodding my skin and found the muddled feeling littered someone in my younger years. Had a demon been around me at that time? It hadn't been my family that was for sure, so who...?

 _What the hell?_ My eyebrows drew together in worry as my eyes started to water. _Why are my memories all screwed up? How am I just now noticing this?_ This didn't make any sense and I was starting to breathe heavily. _Calm down_ , I advised myself as I slowed my breaths and started over with my usual counting. Reaching ten I sighed and nodded to myself.

 _Let's start from the beginning._ I laid my head back against the cool wall as the first memory popped into my mind. A bright light and hazy voices. My birth, which wasn't supposed to be remembered, but I was special in that area of expertise.

Coming into the world those memories seemed to flow easily until reaching around my fourth or fifth year. Something seemed off around then like I had missed something. Images of walking around dazed in my home with no one to talk to, no one to confide in seemed pretty spot on. That's when the depression had started to kick in and I'd struggled with everyday life.

Just as I was reaching my eleventh birthday I felt the pricks in my skin heighten in real life.

 _Claude_. He was the first to come to mind as my heart started to pound. I tensed up as the footsteps sounded and then relaxed. It was one pair, but they weren't heavy and smooth like Claude's, they were lighter, thankfully not as light as the earl's. The door started to open, somehow not creaking like it usually did. I squinted through the darkness to see a sliver of light and a dark form. My eyes tried to adjust, but they were taking their time.

"It's me."

 _Hannah_. I sagged in relief and sniffed feeling my throat begin to tighten uncomfortably.

"I brought a pillow and a blanket, I'm sure they won't check up on you tonight, but if they do I will take full responsibility," she spoke softly as I felt a cushion slide behind my legs. I sat down on of with a huff as a warm sheet settled over me. I nodded giving a small smile, hoping the fellow servant could see it. She sighed and I flinched as her feather-soft hand slid over my barely bruised jaw. "You poor thing..."

My eyes watered, but I shook my head with a shrug.

 _Alois will be Alois no matter what_ , I wanted to reply.

"Claude will let you out first thing in the morning. You know how tight his schedule is." I hesitated but nodded. "Don't worry, things will get better."

 _And then worse_. I sighed. _It's just a circle, Hannah, or it is for me at least._

"Goodnight, (y/n)." I closed my eyes as her lips grazed my forehead, revealing a motherly smile. I felt a tug in my chest as she left me alone.

 _Don't leave me.._. The kind demon's footsteps faded and so did the little light from the hall as darkness enveloped me once more.

**< ><><>**

I seriously bring way too much suffering to my readers. Apologies, I must practice emotional writing and character development through pain! ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S)  O F  T H E  W E E K ♚

What is the most painful situation you have ever been in?

_Probably stomach pains, headaches, or losing a love one._ _I can't say I remember a specific time._

 


	4. 3

_"(Y.../n)...?" A distorted voice as rich as silk echoed_ _,_ _and I felt myself turn as dark colors blended around me._

_It was a hallway, but I couldn't recognize it in the swirled state it was in. My eyes flickered back and forth searching for the holder of the voice. It had definitely sounded memorable and since the stranger knew my name I would've had to have met them at some point. I breathed out the first sound of a greeting, but the words wouldn't leave my lips. My vocal chords tightened at the thought of being used. Even my body recoiled from its natural instincts of speaking._

_I froze when a black mass entered my sight at the end of the mutated hallway. A flash of light made the figure disappear and in the next second they were right in front of me, making me tense in fear. A cloaked_ _person_ _stared down at me and although I couldn't see their eyes I felt them burning holes into my features._

Who...are you? _I thought_ _,_ _shocked and terrified at how familiar the person before me was._ Do I know you? _I tried to ask, but my throat seized up as pain began and blood started to drip down my throat, forcing it's way to my stomach where it didn't belong. I coughed and grabbed at my neck gasping for air as I bent at the waist._

_The world started to spin when it was already screwed into a discolored blotch. The known sound of thunder shook the ground beneath me and I collapsed feeling myself fall._

_The ground had disappeared._

**~~~**

My chin was caught in a silky, but firm grip as I was jerked up from my slouched position. I froze at the painful sensation of needles prodding me and blinked coming face to face with cold eyes.

 _Claude_ _._ I named him silently as he somewhat glared at me. His glasses just barely showed my reflection and I could make out my face. It was sickly, a dear-caught-in-the-headlights type of look. I swallowed, feeling the spit slide passed the bladed barrier just barely.

The demon's gloved hand tightened on my jaw and I winced bringing my shoulders closer to my neck in response. My arms ached as they hung above me and the sudden movement made them tingle, trying to wake up from their forced sleep.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Claude questioned low and leaving no room for disrespect. His squinted gaze sent shivers down my spine.

 _Like I have the strength to disrespect this thing..._ I nodded, lowering my gaze as I frowned, wanting him to let go of me. A minute of silence passed and he finally stood straight, having bent over to reach my sitting form.

The sound of keys jangling made me relax my shoulders as the cuffs on my hands loosened and soon disappeared. My arms fell limply into my lap as I winced shaking them out with a displeased frown, blood rushing back to much-needed places.

"Be upstairs in three minutes or I'll leave you in here to rot." My breath caught at his harshness and when I looked up in fear the demon was already gone.

Taking a shuddering inhale, I stumbled to my feet and hurried to get upstairs, tripping myself up more times than I could count. My body was barely listening to me, with no food or water I was a bit out of sorts. It's not like I wasn't already starved. Anyone could tell by my sunken face.

When you had blades stuck in your throat it hurt like hell to eat. Most of the time I would choke if I didn't chew my food up good enough and Hannah knew that. The woman was sweet enough to make me a soft meal when she could. Something like pudding or mashed potatoes were a bit easier to swallow, but water was practically painless. I'd lived off liquid more than food for the passed few months and it had definitely shown. When I would catch a glimpse of myself I'd immediately frown at the girl I had become.

Nightmares caused the dark bags under my eyes.

Vocal blades led to my starvation.

And Alois and Claude created it all.

 _Damn them_ , I thought numbly as I stumbled into the dining room. Hannah caught me in her warm embrace as I fought back tears once more. _What did I ever do to them to deserve this?_

"It's my turn, so don't fret." the lavenderette smiled sweetly. I didn't feel any relief, Alois would do something, no doubt. However, I felt guilty for the small hope that flooded me that she would be ridiculed in my place while I watched from afar. But this had come to be our daily routine.

 _I'm heartless_ , I nearly sobbed at the thought, _but I don't want any more pain..._

S̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶d̶e̶m̶o̶n̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶. My inner voice defended. I didn't listen to it letting the cruel being I had become eat away at me. There wasn't much left.

I repeated my chores, struggling when my hands shook and hunger started to surface. Soon enough I was by the navy eyed maid and the triplets were to our left as we waited.

I didn't flinch as the demon and his master strolled in. The blonde looked at me, and I felt his cruel grin tear a hole into my skin. Fear took over, and I felt something trying to flicker to life. I quickly pushed it down knowing the outcome if I let my magic take control. My body had had enough punishments.

 _Keep yourself in check_ , I ordered sternly, clenching my hands into fists. I closed my eyes at the pain, my wound still not healed as of yet on my hand, and kept my chin low. _You're getting close to your breaking point and that's the last thing you need. Besides if you break down..._

Images flashed much too quickly as a warning.

_Your nightmares will come true again._

Silence echoed in the brightly colored room. I had grown accustomed to the blazing blue walls and silvery decorations within the dining area. It was as fancy as one would imagine in the 1800's.

 _...That_ ** _is_** _where I am, isn't it?_ I'd vaguely remembered seeing a newspaper or something of the sort at some point while living here, or so I hoped.

 _Is my mind just filling the spaces with useless facts?_ I was beginning to believe it was after my one-on-one session with my thoughts last night. There were so many memories that seemed off and blurred, but there was nothing I could do.

 _I guess I'm not as good at remembering stuff as I thought_ , I waved off. But truth be told I was drowning in my own trepidation.

"Hannah," the earl spoke as I opened my eyes, "don't you think sunny-side-up fried eggs are pitiable?"

 _No, they sound delicious at this point_ , I answered silently, feeling my stomach shift uncomfortably at the thought of food. _It hurts..._

"Being laughed at against its will... It's unbecoming appearance is exposed."

I was used to the earl's small opinions on objects and people (myself included). He always had a dark outlook on something which made me wonder what his past was like.

 _What made him so crazy?_ I wondered as he continued.

"It turns into an eyeball, intestines, or a feather."

_One egg becomes a whole chicken, not separate parts..._

"All these possibilities will get eradicated by me."

 _Because you enjoy torturing life itself_...

I sometimes wished I didn't reply to his personal thoughts, it made me feel desperate, like I was begging for a conversation with the insane blond. In reality I had, in a way, talked to him already. But if he wasn't such a lunatic, then, maybe I could hold a conversation with him, help him even-

The sound of glass hitting the table made me glance up as dark colored juice spilled, dripping to the floor to form a puddle. First the tablecloth had gone through a bloody accident and now this one. I wondered how many had been destroyed by the boy and his boredom.

"Hannah," he called sounding a bit agitated, but all that could change in a nanosecond.

A small gasp came from the kind woman as she hurried forward kneeling beside the earl as she cleaned up the drink with her rag. Just as her knees touched the ground Alois voiced a strangled cry making me jump and glance up despite knowing the consequences. The blond's low laughter filled the room as chill bumps broke the surface on my skin.

"You're truly miserable." He sighed turning and I caught sight of his terrifying smirk. My eyes flickered to his reaching hand as it moved towards the lavenderette. Before I could understand his intentions, it was too late. His fingers sunk into the woman's eye without hesitation, and I felt my empty stomach flip as my eyes widened. Fresh blood spilled from the wound as Hannah shook, seizing up as a pained choke tore from her throat.

"Didn't Claude already tell you that a maid isn't allowed to look at her master directly?" Alois questioned, holding the back of her head securely as he continued to puncture the important body part mercilessly.

I looked away unable to watch as the gauging noises made me force an acidic taste back down my throat. Absentmindedly, I reached up to touch my own eye in pain. I couldn't imagine the agony he was putting her through.

"Please forgive me," the earl voiced, his tone feigning sadness. "If I don't punish you, Claude will hate me."

Hearing another gasp, the sound of a thud made me wince and shakily look forward. Hannah was still on her knees holding her eye in pain as blood poured down her arm and onto the floor.

My legs were trembling as I waited for the psycho to turn on me, but he didn't have a chance to. The doors slammed open and Claude strode in. My frantic eyes didn't miss the beaming smile on the sickening boy's face as the demon entered the room.

 _What could you possibly see in him?_ I thought. _The only kindness that thing has ever shown me is rules and semi-answers, but maybe he gives you something someone else can't..._

**_"He's not here. He should be here, but he's not."_ **

My heart cracked at the memory and I wished I didn't let my soft side show. Every time I wanted to help he'd hurt me... Why didn't I learn?

"Clean this up immediately," the butler ordered. I swallowed and hurried forward as the triplets did so as well. Canterbury and Thompson helped Hannah out of the room as Timber tended to the pool of blood beneath her. I followed the lavenderette out of the room to tend to her injuries and escape the crazy earl.

Getting the maid to the servant's bathroom I nodded to the two of three triplets and held the door open for them as they hurried out to return to their missing brother. Shutting the door I faced Hannah as she leaned against the sink her hands still covering her eye.

I frowned feeling the previous guilt wash over me. Digging through the cabinets I finally found a roll of bandages and a clean rag. Hobbling up onto the sink I grabbed the woman's arm gently and cleaned her hand and sleeve off as best as I could as well as the wound. She winced as I dabbed around the punctured eye and bile rose in my throat at the sight of the ripped organ hanging from her closed eyelid. Even though she was a demon, this had to hurt.

"It is alright." Hannah turned away hiding her face with her pale hair. "I'll take care of it."

I frowned and shook my head moving her chin back towards me as I finished cleaning her face. Making sure to disinfect the wound I quickly started to bind her head, covering the hurt eye from the world with a cotton patch. Leaning back to take a look at my work I nodded to the maid. She gave a smile hesitantly as I turned to wash my hands off in the sink, after stepping down. I watched the water from the faucet slowly turned pink as any remaining blood washed down the drain.

"Where did you learn to bind so efficiently?" Hannah hummed as she brushed her hand over the white bandages. I shrugged at her, shaking my head in reply. It wasn't like I could tell her I'd learned after years of beatings from my parents. It just came naturally as a survival instinct I suppose. 

**~~~**

"Is that understood?" I nodded, obeying the butler without hesitation.

The demon had just told me tonight's plans--something he rarely did--but apparently, he needed me to assist with one job. Since Hannah was injured and the bandages would be questioned I was to take her place in showing the guests to the door after dinner as well as holding it open while they retreated back to their carriages.

At first, when Claude had spoken the order, I'd given him a questionable look and looked to my right where the triplets cleaned at the end of the hallways. The demon didn't answer my silent question and I figured he just chose me for the morbid fun of it.

_He said it's polite to give a goodbye and a bow, but I can't speak..._

"One farewell statement is all you have to say," Claude stated as I looked up into his slim eyes with a small frown. "Goodbye, adieu, please come again, take your pick. If you are, however, to reveal a drop of blood to the guests..."

He leaned down growing dangerously close to my face, yet somehow I didn't flinch or turn away. I nodded once more knowing a punishment would be given.

"It's satisfying to see you've learned your place in this household. Day into night, sugar into salt, living into dead..."

I blinked as he grabbed my chin once more, unlike this morning his fingers just barely touched my skin. My fingers curled into fists as his eyes held a disgusting motive behind his clear glasses.

 _Get the hell away from me!_ I wanted to scream as my legs started to shake.

"And silver into gold. What does that make?" He questioned sternly as my nostrils flared and my eyes widened in fear.

'A Trancy butler.' I mouth emptily.

"Servant in your case, but yes, precisely." The demon stood straight positioning his hands behind his back curtly. "Finish your chores."

With gritted teeth, I bowed and hurried towards the triplets to get away from the most uncomfortable demon in the mansion. Thompson, Timber, and Canterbury eyed me with interest and whispered quietly as I passed. It was my turn to sweep the front porch and polish the stairwell.

**~~~**

The sound of the dry bristles bustling over the dusty marble filled my ears as I reveled in the cool air and little sunlight I received. I enjoyed the rays as much as I enjoyed nature. When I was allowed an outside chore I almost forgot all the horrors that lied within the home behind me. I almost got the sense that I was free.

The sensation hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt my eyes water. I wanted to sing or at least him something.

 _It would hurt_ , I thought sadly as I reached up to touch my throat gingerly. Sighing I gripped the broom's handle tightly and went about, sweeping the dirt and dust from the porch and stairs.

 _Maybe one day I'll leave this place and get some doctor to pull these infernal shards out_. Then the new question dawned once more. Why didn't I just leave? I was outside, I could practically see the stables and steal a horse.

That little hope of freedom was weighed down when I remembered I had already tried once. Only once had I tried to escape. My hands traveled to my side as I winced at the memory. I still had recollections that made me ache if I thought about it too much.

 _If I have all these holes in my thoughts why do I have to remember that and.._. I shuddered as the image of my father came to mind and pushed it away.

Funny how I forgot a whole lot of things, or seemed to at least, but not that. Had the lost memories been good or bad? If they were the latter then perhaps it was better they stayed obscure and forgotten.

 _I've had enough already_ , I huffed sweeping a large amount of dust into the air. I watched the wind blow it away bringing a few slips of hair from my head. I reached up smoothing them down.

_There will be more to come, though. That I know for sure._

**< ><><>**

It took me forever to decide if I wanted the reader to lose her memories or not. There were so many ways I could've taken this story and I chose the hardest, go figure.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What disturbs you the most?

_Any gore mixed with insects and as stupid as it is anything with holes close together like a beehive. I'm not scared just disturbed and I constantly want to scratch at them to file them down or something, I guess._

 


	5. 4

The guests were here, I'd heard them enter when Hannah and I had just finished our dinner. Well, she didn't eat (being a demon and all), but she always made sure I did. She could be such a mother hen at times.

 _I barely even eat_ , I thought,  _but at least I managed tonight_.

Hannah was a great cook, even though Claude was the one to make every ounce of food for the earl. I found it ironic how demons were great at everything. They couldn't devour food, yet, they perfected cooking.

**~~~**

I sighed softly, cupping my shaking hands in the warm water and bringing it to my face. The liquid traveled down my naked form making me tense as I washed myself off standing from the tub to dry.

Seeing as I couldn't greet the guests with wet hair I had to keep from washing it, luckily it wasn't too greasy. After brushing my teeth and any knots out of my hair, Hannah redid my usual look and wished me luck with the guests. Hopefully, I wouldn't get into any trouble.

Patting my skirt straight, I walked down the hall and stopped at the front doors of the mansion. I could hear the guest's voices as they approached and straightened as they rounded the corner. All three of the men's eyes seemed to lock onto me as I bowed and I felt my throat go dry.

_One word, two syllables. You can do this without choking._

Opening the door I gazed at the guests and opened my mouth to greet them goodbye-

_"My God!"_

I was interrupted, however, by one of the strangers. I jumped as he rushed forward kneeling down in front of me as he bowed his head. The blond had somehow grabbed my hands from behind my back. He raised his head as I finally got a good look at him. Purple eyes that made my stomach churn and a not-so-ugly face.

"What a sight you are for sore eyes, my darling! Have we met before? I am positive I have seen those eyes on a day like today!"

I was shocked and disgusted all in one at the sight of his violet irises. Images flashed behind my own as I shook my head and blinked growing afraid.

 _He asked me a question. I can't speak or..._ I looked up at the demon butler begging through eye contact for help. He sighed lightly glancing away but stepped forward nonetheless.

"I'm afraid you have never seen her before. The girl just arrived here a mere few months ago from a foreign country," Claude lied swiftly as I relaxed pulling my hand from the man's grip as politely as I could.

"Oh! This can't be!" The blond gasped dramatically as he cried out. "I prayed to God that I would have the privilege of seeing your sweet gaze! Perhaps you were but a dream, yet he has given you life! I am able to forgive him once more!" This guy was a lunatic.

"Shall we be on our way?" Another guest spoke up, seeming a bit put off by the guy's behavior as well. The last visitor was familiar, the young lord's uncle, I believe. He had been here once before.

"Adieu my lovely, for I shall never see such beauty ever again!"

 _Get out of here--and quit touching me!_ I opened the door bowing once more as I finally voiced my goodbye.

"Farewell." The shards pierced the inside of my throat and the warmth of blood dripping down made me hold back a choked cough as the bitter taste filled my mouth. I had barely even spoken above a whisper and it hurt like hell.

"That soft voice! Like a dove's feather falling from the heavens! Ah~ My dove!" Something inside me cracked as the guests walked out. My wide eyes stared far passed the carpet beneath me.

**_Bright lights flickered and a crowd rushed around me. Muddles voices reached my ears and a warmth filled my hand._ **

**_"Noble or not, you are such a graceful beauty, white as a dove with that hair of yours."_ **

I blinked and the sudden episode was gone, long forgotten.

 _What...was that?_ Claude and Alois reentered and I closed the door in a daze turning to come face to face with the butler. I felt fear grip my heart and looked down as Alois stepped up as well.

"Did you know the Druitt, (y/n)?" Claude asked. I shook my head numbly.

 _I'm lying, I know I am_. I thought as they stared. Soon the duo proceeded down the hallway without another word. Sighing, I took off to check on Hannah. Just as I was making my way down the hallway that leads to our shared room a familiar sound shook the house with its roar.

 _Thunder?_  I stumbled back towards the nearest window and peered out in wonder. For the first time, I felt pure joy encase me within its warmth as I spotted the dark clouds approaching.

_I love storms..._

**~~~**

"Hannah." The lavenderette and I looked up from washing the dishes as Claude stood a few feet away. "A guest has arrived for the night. Prepare a room for them."

_He doesn't sound too happy about that._

"Right away." She bowed going to step away, but I grabbed her wrist shaking my head with a worried frown. She gave me a worried glance as Claude turned to me.

"Are you saying you'd rather do her share of work?" He hummed as I looked up at him. Feeling determination rise within me I nodded. I waved, motioning to the poor woman's eye. "She's far more capable of completing this task than you, wounded or not."

I took another daring step forward and place my hand on my chest.

"Silver..." I wheezed as the butler raised an eyebrow, "...in-to gol- _d_." I coughed once swallowing the blood as I shuddered at the slimy warmth. The burning sting made my eyes water.

The demon's gaze flashed for a split second at my deformed words and I shuddered afraid, but then the dangerous look was gone.

"So be it. Change the sheets and bring hot water before the guest finishes his meal." I nodded and Claude got to work on fixing another plate of dinner.

Hurrying passed Hannah I saw her reach out for me, concerned. I offered a small nod in return before exiting the kitchen. Jogging through the hallway, I quickly located the closest guest room and got to work. My breaths were quick and shallow showing how out of shape I was, but I pushed on, hurrying to get the chore done before the guest arrived.

 _Almost done_. I thought, rolling the cart into place. I frowned when I saw the water wasn't warm enough. Grabbing the pitcher I quickly made my way to the bathroom and filled it with steaming water. Struggling with the heavy item I walked into the guest room and to the cart. Just as I had set the pitcher down I felt needles prick my skin and winced at the intensity.

"(Y/n)?" I froze in my spot at the new, yet somehow familiar voice. It was rich like soft velvet and utterly terrifying.

My brain began to hurt at the immense confusion. Turning with a wide-eyed gaze I just now noticed the black figure sitting on the bed.

Lightning lit up the room as I took in the stranger before feeling an odd sense of déjà vu. I choked on my blood as I tried to speak, managing to hide my pain as I gripped my skirt tightly behind me. From what little I could see of the guest it was a man with raven hair and pale skin. He wore a large, black trench coat and hat, while next to him lied a rather massive briefcase.

"Excuse me, I thought you were someone else." The man turned away.

"I-" I forced out and let a cough slip as I swallowed feeling the ache grow in my throat. The guest was looking towards me again, yet I couldn't make out his eyes. "H- _ow_ \--"

"(Y/n)?" I gasped, wincing while hurrying to stare at the ground at the sound of the earl's voice. "Why are you here, (y/n)?" Alois asked in strangely soft voice. I could hear his footsteps as I shook in my spot turning towards him ever so slightly with a small bow. I felt blood fill my mouth. I pressed my lips together tightly doing my best not to gag at the taste.

 _Swallow it._  I ordered in my head and did as I was told feeling it jump back and forth before finally going down. I closed my eyes turning away as the blonde stood directly in front of me. I felt like vomiting and running all at once.

"Weren't you trying to gain Mr. Traveler's affection with that weak act of yours?"

I opened my eyes as I saw Alois shift. His hand swung towards me, but instead of contacting with my body it knocked the pitcher from the cart to my left as I jerked away. The sound of shattering echoed as my heart picked up its pace. I choked as a hand grabbed the back of my neck forcing me towards the door.

"Get out of here you whore!"

I stumbled falling to my knees as his hand disappeared only to be replaced with his foot as he landed a swift kick to my lower back. I cringed at the pain and hurried to my feet before retreating from the room like I was told. Closing the door like I had been taught I gasped for breath and gagged at the metallic taste left in my mouth. Balling my hands into fists I ran down the hallways feeling tears slide down my face.

 _Why is everything so messed up around here?! First, that lunatic said he'd seen me before, and then the guest knew my name..._ I leaned against the wall and struggled to gain my breath back. Looking up I realized I had run farther than I had expected.

I dragged my feet as I pushed off the wall making my way towards the lone door a few yards down. I was near the storage floor of the mansion. Taking a deep breath as I found myself in front of the oak entrance I grabbed the knob and twisted, pulling. The stairwell was pitch black. My legs shook, but I ignored it.

_...That doesn't scare me anymore._

I started down the stairs closing the door behind me. Right now I wouldn't care if I got caught lurking where I wasn't supposed to be. This massive area was where it was, a place I would seek refuge on the worst of days after everyone had gone to sleep and Claude was out. It had been awhile since my last visit, a few weeks perhaps?

My breath hitched as my foot slid off the last step coming into contact with the stone floor. Shaking my head at myself I closed my eyes remembering the layout of the room as clear as day. Walking deeper into the dark I followed the invisible path to my corner where all the tea was stored. I could feel that faded sense start to awaken once more, a warmth in my chest barely there, like the last flickering flame of a dying candle.

I froze finding myself where I wanted to be as I calmed myself with deep breaths and counting. Soon enough the sensation grew and I felt at ease as I brought my hands to my heart. Every time I was down here I felt like there was someone with me, but in a comforting sense. Hannah was relaxing and gave me relief, but this...

 _You're so much stronger_ , I thought feeling as if I was being embraced. Focusing on the warmth within me I tapped into it and smiled feeling my eyes water. I always felt something from this force. I'd written it off as a ghost, but it appeared to be something much more tender.

 _Hello again_ , I greeted silently. There was a small spark of joy, but it didn't belong to me. _What are you?_ I sighed blinking as darkness kept me blinded to the stack of teas in front of me.  _A spirit? That sounds nicer than a ghost._

...Amusement and...envy?

_I could only imagine if you were actually, well, living. I think...we would get along quite well._

...Sadness, a lot of grief, but there was something else mixed in with it. What was it? It was a lot like happiness, but it was more personal in a way.

 _What is that feeling?_  I wondered. Looking up at the boxes I slowly reached out towards the many small packages wandering if one of them was what held my dear friend. Something replaced the previous sensation, however, making me freeze.

Fear.

I gasped as I felt needles prod on my skin.

 _Oh no._ I withdrew from the warmth as the sound of a door opening echoed. The invisible embrace was wrenched away.

"This way."

 _Alois_. My eyes widened as I hurried behind one of the many wooden shelves littered with bags of something heavy-looking. My heart hammered in my chest as the guest and the earl made their way around me, not noticing my crouched form.

 _Why are they here? And where's Claude? I sensed him..._ I went still as they stopped in front of the tea section. The blond sat down the candles lighting their way and reached for a box of tea holding it within his palm with a wide-eyed gaze.

"It's just black tea," he stated, seeming slightly confused as my heart dropped to my stomach. This definitely had something to do with the spirit and if I knew any better I was about to lose my invisible friend.

 _I can't do anything!_  I cried out silently as my eyes watered.  _He'll hurt me again..._

"New Moon Drop." I blinked looking at the guest as he stared at the tea box. "I heard that tea leaves picked up on nights of the full moon have a fresh and sweet scent. But this is the opposite. By picking them up on a new moon, a scent that resembles a bottomless darkness comes up faintly." I frowned confused and depressed all in one. "It's also called 'Motion of the Soul'."

 _Soul...?_ I gritted my teeth as the man reached out with a white gloved hand to touch the box. Alois stepped back bringing the tea away from the guest's grip as I fought back a sigh. Why was I so nervous about this man having it? I should have been more worried that Alois had it! But then again, something told me to be wary of the man. I was purely afraid of him for no reason.

"This is still not enough," the earl stated.

"Still?" The guest hummed. I felt the tingling sensation grow.

_Another demon...? Wait..._

"Don't worry. I'll make sure to show you. But before that--"

"Before that, I will have you hand over that trunk to me." My eyes widened as I spotted Claude to our right with golden knives in his grip.

 _Knives_. I grabbed my side in memory as I tensed. The newcomer turned as the butler flung his weapons. I gasped fearing the worst for the man as my eyes widened, but the gold cutters only ripped his cloak and hat away. I took in the male's slim face and ember eyes much like the triplets I knew. Then I remembered what I had felt before he'd spoken my name. I had felt the prickling just like I did now.

_He's a demon._

"Sebastian Michaelis!" Claude named as images flashed in my head for the nth time that day. I gritted my teeth grabbing my head as I tried to keep my focus on the demons.

 _He's familiar... How do I know him?_ I froze as his red eyes stared into mine. Something screamed inside of me and terror seized my entire being as one sentence entered my head.

_̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶_

Everything went too fast. Suddenly this Sebastian was gone and Alois was yelling. I grabbed at my chest and turned towards the door that leads out of the storage facility.

 _He's taking him._ The earl was screaming at his butler as he took off after the fellow demon. Something about not killing the used-to-be guest. I went to stand, but my mind went up in flames as I collapsed in a heap, breathing heavily.

**_"Yes, my lord."_ **

**_"Friend? You have not called me by that name, I'm afraid."_ **

**_"A demon can be many things if he so desires, but a demon will never be such a thing as a friend."_ **

**_"Do take care of yourself, (y/n). Although I cannot lay a finger on your soul, I am certain other things can do so..."_ **

_What...are...these?_  I thought helplessly as images morphed into one big muddled mess. Something warm slid down over my lip and dripped from my chin as I reached for the exit.

 _Please..._  I exhaled feeling everything fall away as the warmth in my chest faded.  _Don't take_ _them_ _..._

Longing, anguish, and then...

Nothing.

**< ><><>**

I'm sure by now all of you realize the reader can't sense humans, all except for Ciel that is. His soul is one of a kind. ღ(ゝ◡╹)ノ♡

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S)  O F  T H E  W E E K ♚

What color do you think your soul would be?

_I want to say gold but I definitely don't have a heart of gold so maybe a smooth vanilla or_ _dark_ _green_


	6. 5

**(A/N: Early update brought to you by my upcoming beach trip, where I will not have my computer with me.)**

_Distance. There seemed to be miles and miles of forest between me and the building. I stood there, barefooted in the soil as I stared upon the massive mansion. I was used to such a sight. The Earl Trancy's house was hell, but it was beautiful. Light brown walls with an undertone of green, and then topped with a metallic blue, it couldn't be anything less._

_This home, however, was an whole other ordeal entirely. The roof was flatter with less proficient details in the design. It was simpler and I felt a sense of comfort when observing it, but also saddened for some odd reason, as if something was missing._

_Soon enough, the air began to give off a foreboding aura as the wind started to pick up. I winced as my hair whipped at my face, growing tangled. As I brought my hands up to pull the locks away from my eyes I froze at the sight of the (h/c) strands. Or at least they were supposed to be (h/c)._

Why is my hair white? _Had I used my powers? I couldn't remember. I frowned and jumped as thunder shook the ground beneath my aching feet. I shuttered, crossing my arms over my naked body I had just come to notice was in such a vulnerable state. Nothing was making any sense._

Where am I? What happened to my clothes? _I blinked as it started to rain and focused on the manor in the distance once more_. Why am I here?

 _A screech of what I hoped to be a bird sounded somewhere behind, or perhaps above me. I cupped my hands over my eyes trying to see through the heavy storm, but everything was becoming murky. Suddenly a weight pressed down_ _on me and I was stumbling uphill--no up a flight of stairs. I gasped covering my face as something bright flew at me. When nothing hit my shielding arms I slowly opened my_ _eyes to see a pair of massive oak doors in front of me._

Is this the mansion I saw? When did I get here?  
 _Turning I looked out at the messy storm and shivered. I realized, once peering down, that the weight now encasing me was a cloak, and a very large one at that. My body began to shake from the chill and my limbs were slowly beginning to grow numb._

Should I risk it? _I bit my lip as I stared at the doors in front of me. What would be in this building?_ Could it be any worse than that lunatic's?... _I raised my hand to knock, but before I could do so the door began to creak open._

_I blinked as lightning lit up the world around me and red eyes cut deep into my soul. Only one thought came to mind._

Wait, this is the night I came to meet the Trancy Manor. _But then, why was the home been different?_

**~~~**

I m jolted awake as a wave of freezing water hit me, soaking me down to the bone as I gasped for air. Blinking repeatedly, my heart pounded as blurred figures surrounded me. I shifted and found myself hanging, stuck in place. Looking down, I gritted my teeth as I moved my hands above me or tried to--they were bound tightly. My feet were tied. That's when I realized what I was hanging above.

 _The tank..._ My heart beat went wild as all the memories struck me. I had been nearly drowned in this thing over a dozen times. This one punishment made me scared to even step into the bathtub when it came time to.

My lungs felt restricted and I could feel the cold water slip against my bare feet sending burning goosebumps up my skin. I wanted nothing more than to recoil away from the fluid beneath me.

"Nice to see you're awake, little witch!" Alois's eerily cheerful voice rang in my ears as I winced at the pain in my head. Everything swam in colors like paint being mixed with a thousand other hues to create one big mess as I looked up. I sucked in a breath, shivering and gagged at the familiar taste of blood.

 _What happened?_ I closed my eyes trying to calm my racing heart and clear up my sight.

"Hey! I said wake up!"

I let out a pained sob making my throat burn as similar ache ran through my face. I'd been slapped again. Raising my head once more, I stared the earl in the eye feeling anxiety bloom inside of me. He stood on the plank that stretched a few feet over the tank (something I had been pushed off of plenty of times). I'd missed him due to my meltdown over the suffocating liquid beneath me.

 _Don't anger him_ , I thought feeling fear in the back of my mind. _You know what he'll do to you..._

Everything came falling into place as soon as his creepy smile met my gaze. It all weighed me down along with my body as I fought back sobs of defeat. That man, Sebastian, had stolen the last bit of light in my life. My friend, whatever he had been, was gone and I was left to confide in myself. Hannah was there, naturally, but she couldn't fill the gaping hole in my heart. There was something about that spirit that put me at ease--made me feel safe and secure. She couldn't do that, she was just like the man who'd stolen my light--the maid was a demon, albeit kinder, but still a monster.

 _And I can't trust them._ For some reason, that phrase seemed nostalgic, like someone had already said it to me. I wish I'd listened to them--whoever they were--if they had ever given such advice.

"You were found in storage with a bloody nose after Sebastian Michaelis escaped," Claude said bluntly as I shifted my gaze to the butler clad in black. He stood behind his master. Now that I thought about it, he was similar to that fellow demon. Obsidian hair, slim eyes, and uneasiness when they both looked at me.

"What did you do, (y/n)?" Alois giggled menacingly as I blinked at him. His heated stare tore through me as I looked insanity in the eye confused as ever.

_'What did I do?' Do they mean why I was down there?_

"We have reason to believe you know and have been in contact with Sebastian Michaelis," Claude frowned fixing his glasses. My eyebrows furrowed at his false statement.

"Did you call him here, hmm? Did you think you could gain his affection?" The earl hummed.

I shook my head immediately, disgusted at the thought of something like that with the demon. "I do- _n't-_ " I gagged, sending a few dozen drops of blood into the water as the boy sighed.

"Well? Is she lying?" He inquired, turning to his shadow.

The butler hummed, "I believe so."

My eyes widened as the sensation of falling surfaced and suddenly half of my body was in the water. I screamed thrashing my legs even though I knew I couldn't swim. Seeing as I wasn't all the way in I twitched, choking on my blood as I spat, leaving a scarlet stream running down into the water. I could smell the chemicals in the liquid and my legs began to burn. I struggled to state the fact as my eyesight blinked on and off. Was this it? Were they going to kill me?

"We're not done with you yet!" Alois barked out, laughing as he leaned over me beaming. "This is just an interrogation! Dunking you in a bit of acid can't kill the likes of you, witch! Besides..." His wide, blue eyes squinted as he suddenly glared down at me. "You were lying and you've used your powers. So you deserve a punishment."

I gasped for air as my head lowered. Fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks as I struggled to breathe. My skin was starting to burn from the acid. The sting was excruciating.

"Oops, I think there was too much corrosive added in!" The blond laughed as I gritted my teeth weakly. "Now! Do you know Sebastian or not?"

" _I don't!_ " I yelled and vomited up a large amount of blood staining my clothes and coloring the water pink. I was out of energy.

"Familiar, perhaps?" I struggled to nod, telling what truth you knew of. "Then you do know him to a point." I was reasonably certain that was Claude, but I was losing a sense of everything.

"Familiar? Ooh, I wonder why, Claude? I thought we'd done a better job than this!"

"Perhaps she needs another session."

"No." Silence echoed. "She was nearly empty last time. I want her consciousness alive, she's entertaining and besides..." I was halfway gone as Alois tilted my chin up to smirk at me coldly. "She's getting one right now."

His hand left leaving me to collapse without something to hold me up. Everything was numb, the corrosive practically melting my brain as I fell beneath the surface. I screamed feeling my hair swirl around me as I thrashed trying to get back to air. The acid sunk into my pores as my bound hands and feet struggled only making me sink further.

Burning...

Blood...

My lungs filled with the poisoned water as I slowly started to still. It was all a repeat just with an addition of chemicals to slowly incinerate me.

The insane earl's laugh rebounded through the mutated glass as I hit the bottom of the tank slowly, but heavily. The murky darkness came to claim me once more as I was lost to pain.

**~~~**

_Whispering..._

_A lone blue eye..._

_Indescribable pain._

_That's what made up this nightmare._

**~~~**

"Stop shaking, _honestly_. You're so pathetic." Alois sighed scribbling upon papers randomly as I struggled to clean up around his office.

It had been a day since the rancid acid drop, and I was still suffering from a few side effects. I couldn't control my body shivering, it wouldn't stop. The chemicals had also worsened my bruises from the past few weeks so they littered me. For once I wished my uniform had a navy undershirt like Hannah's. Unlike her, my outfit was opposite colored. While her apron was fully white the top of mine was dyed navy. My undershirt was the only thing to be completely white. If I stared too deeply at the bright fabric I could see the discolored skin beneath.

"(Y/n)~" Alois sang in a childish whine. "I'm bored!"

_You have papers to finish._

"Hey, (y/n)," he called a bit more softly as I turned towards him, waiting. "If you wanted someone to visit your home, how would you persuade them to do so?" I frowned at the question and blinked at the floor, still shaking badly. It was days like this I was able to accept the earl. When he was semi-normal.

Looking towards his small bookshelf, I stumbled over to it and withdrew a novel. Alois sat back in his chair with an interested hum as I pointed to the title, staring at the ground respectively.

"Hm? _Frankenstein_? What does that have to do with anything?" He frowned taking the book from me. "To bring someone to your home you would show them a monster?" I motioned to the invite letters for the party. In a few seconds it must have finally dawned on him. He stood slamming his hands on the oak desk as I jumped back afraid.

"That's it!" The earl gasped. "A costume ball! Why didn't I think of it before?" He laughed wholeheartedly. "Claude needs to get started! Claude~" The boy ran passed dancing out of the room with a beaming smile on his face.

 _Why can't you always be like this_? Grabbing the novel I had shown I ran my hand over the cover. _Why do you have to be such a monster?_

**< ><><>**

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What classical monster is your favorite?

_Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or possibly the Werewolf._

 


	7. 6

The costume ball was postponed. Alois was incredibly upset about this and revealed his negativity towards me. My arms currently stung from all the books that had been thrown in a fit of childish rage, but now he was no longer here to give mistreatment and I could relax.

 

Crumbling onto my bed I sighed and sniffed.

 

At least he's gone for the day... My nose scrunched up as a pressure formed in my head. Figures flashed in a blurred frenzy and I reached up to massage my aching skull.

 

Great, I ran a hand over my face, another headache. Sitting upright, I breathed deeply and looked towards the small window in my and Hannah's room. Birds tweeted outside in the bright day, free to go where the wind would take them. I closed my eyes to listen to their songs silently.

 

Alois and Claude had left the manor for today. The demon has simply stated, "Finish the chores you were assigned while his highness is on leave. His business with the Queen will keep us late."

 

Leaning against my headboard, I wondered what the earl did for the queen. On one occasion I had managed to catch a glimpse of a sealed letter on the blond's desk. Later on, when cleaning his office up I saw the Queen had signed it.

 

The sound of the door opening made me jump to attention. As I looked back, I spotted Hannah holding the entrance open with a calm smile on her angelic face.

 

"Would you like to have some tea out in the garden?" My eyes glazed over at the thought and I nodded vigorously. A tea session here was rare, and if you had the chance to have one you took it. The lavenderette turned, waiting for me to follow. Once I began to approach, she started down the hallway while I stopped to close the door to our room.

 

Soon we were stepping out into the wide garden of the Trancy manor. I saw the triplets sitting amongst the white, marble steps. Their colorful hair shun bright in the sun along with their pasty skin as they observed me with quiet whispers. Heading deeper into the grand garden, I blinked at the small table I had seen a handful of times before and sat down along with the she-demon.

 

A steaming cup of tea was in front of me, it's color a beautiful vanilla as white curled and danced in the air. Reaching out with trembling and bandaged hands I took the warm cup into my palms and sighed at the sensation. Taking a deep breath of the bittersweet fragrance, I slowly sipped at the liquid, relishing in the way it felt going down my throat.

 

Blinking, I looked down to see my vague reflection in the tea, but my pupils focused on the background. My bandages tormented the peaceful tranquility that had been created as I stared at them. I glanced up at Hannah's as well. Her eye would heal, she was a demon so it wouldn't scar like it would humans. But with a patch covering her navy iris she looked as pitiful as me.

 

What a pathetic-looking pair we are... Sighing into the silence, I relaxed and let my mind wander. The sweet aftertaste of the tea reminded me of the desserts I had once consumed a long time ago. It was before the blades had been placed. Months felt like years in a time like this.

 

No, I disagreed. A year is far too short for this era. A month here feels much more like a millennium.

 

"Is the tea alright?" I blinked at the soft eye of the woman and nodded slowly. It had been a while since I had been given a warm drink. I was very grateful for the relish and company.

 

'What does his highness do for the Queen?' I mouthed, eyelids low.

 

"His highness is known as the Queen's spider," Hannah stated. "He helps in the crime aspect." She answered quietly as I took in the information finishing my tea in one long sip. It was kind of ironic in a way since he was a criminal himself.

 

The Queen's spider? The corner of my lip upturned in displeasure. Sounds more like the demon butler than the earl... He's more like... My eyes caught sight of the blue sky and for some reason, the insect came to mind. I had seen it with him once before. Yes, I decided, he's like that wounded butterfly...the one he had when I arrived here...

 

"He is excited for a costume ball, isn't he?" The maid hummed catching my attention once more like the previous comparison in a spider's web. "I never thought he would throw one at this time of the year... Though, his interests have seemed to...expanded."

 

The way she put it made her sound worried. What would a strong woman like herself have to be worried about? Why did she even live here? Did Claude keep her prisoner as well? Weren't demons more of a solo race?

 

The triplets came to mind and I mentally rolled my eyes. There were too many questions and never enough answers. Why I had been blessed with a dangerous curiosity I would never know.

 

"(Y/n)," Hannah called me softly as she leaned over grasping my hands in hers as my cup laid to the right, empty. "His highness can be...difficult... But please, bare with him. He has had a hard life..."

 

I pulled my hands from hers. How could she defend him? But I couldn't ask that as I, too, had tried to find the good side in him. Failure had greeted me with a painful lash every time.

 

'So have I, Hannah,' I replied coldly. That boy didn't deserve my pity, yet he was given it and much more. I wished for his sanity to return, his real smile even though I had never seen it. A broken soul was painful to watch struggle in the web known as life. He turned his sadness and loneliness into something horrifying, something sinful.

 

Within a broken past lies a contract that only ends in death...

 

The story sounded strangely familiar to me.

 

~~~

 

 

The next few days were tiring. Alois had returned with an uncomfortable smile in place that made my bones quiver in fear. The costume ball was to proceed as planned much to Claude's dismay. The butler was not happy to be planning the dance, so instead, he worked elsewhere. While the earl busied himself with the invitation list the rest of us servants were put to work decorating the main ballroom to be used. Claude left at some point, running an errand, but he swore to check our handiwork when he returned. The penalties were high if any of us screwed up.

 

On the bright side, my trembling had dulled down--for my body at least. I feared my hands would always quaver in remembrance of their many beatings. Luckily, my punctured palm was nearly recovered with only a dull, jagged oval in my skin to show any sign of a previous wound. My bruises were also fading, but much too slowly. Fortunately, my sleeves would cover them during the ball. Any wandering eyes would pass over my figure in a heartbeat. Despite my starving, the uniform on me was thick, hiding my frailness from the world.

 

Maybe someone will notice, I thought hopefully, and then they'll take me away from here...

 

I stared out the window as the sun began to sink below the horizon once more, leaving the moon to fend for itself.

 

Please... Someone notice...

 

~~~

 

 

"Won't this be grand, (y/n)?!" Alois laughed spinning around the finished ballroom. I kept silent with my hands clutching one another in front of me. "I still have yet to decide my own costume. What should I go as, hmm?" I tensed as he walked circles around me. "Maybe a king? Or, dare I say, a demon?" He giggled and bent at the waist in front of me, trying to make eye contact. I gave him no such thing, knowing the outcome. "What do you think, little witch?"

 

My shivering hands rose to my mouth as I folded my pointer fingers out at the corners of my lips.

 

"Hm? A vampire?" The blond barked out a laugh. "It's entertaining how you speak with actions, but they say actions speak louder than words, do they not?"

 

I lowered my hands and kept my gaze downwards. If only he knew he was a vampire because he drained my life every second he spent hurting me.

 

"Should I dress you up as well, (y/n)? A pointy hat and a broomstick would be quite ironic!" The earl chuckled as I saw his feet shift, his body returning straight. "Maybe a stray black cat will wander in and cause a ruckus..." His voice lowered to a whisper as he leaned closer. I winced shutting my eyes as he breathed a deep inhale, his nose dangerously close to my neck. "Or maybe you'll burn on the stake like your ancestors before you..."

 

Stop it... I shook, my legs threatening to collapse beneath me. Things took a turn so quickly in this prison. One second he's cheerful and playful, the next I'm a bleeding mess on the floor, left to rebuild only to be destroyed over and over...

 

"Your highness you have yet to decide the dish for tomorrow night." Claude. At least he distracted the boy at times.

 

"Something light! Everyone will be much too busy dancing!" Alois beamed at the sight of his butler as I sucked in a scared breath. The air grew tense at his next words. "Did he receive his letter?"

 

"Yes, your highness."

 

"Good." Alois shifted behind me, heading out of the ballroom. "He is the most important guest after all." My heart pulsed as the patter of footsteps echoed towards the back of my mind, instead replaced by the owner's voice.

 

"If you wanted someone to visit your home, how would you persuade them to do so?"

 

I pity the poor soul who's been targeted by him... As the doors shut to the massive room my shoulders sunk down, my head following in pursuit. Because everyone I've seen cross paths with such a person hasn't made it out unscathed...

 

~~~

 

 

"(Y/n)..." The earl called with a sigh as he once again picked and prodded at his breakfast. I shifted in my stance, a sign to show I was listening, but the boy was focused on his full plate with a frown on his face. Sky blue eyes were squinted in a severe manner that made my heartbeat pick up its pace. "My guests will be arriving in a few hours and you are to stay by my side. If you so much as disappear from my sight you will be punished." His words were as cold as the first bite of winter's air in the early morning of December.

 

I bowed meekly next to him with a nod as I straightened, pouring his drink. The sleek stream of juice wavered in the air just before it settled in its glass and grew. The thought of it overflowing frightened me to no extent. When the cup was filled appropriately I pulled away, setting the pitcher towards the middle of the table. Making my way back to my spot beside Hannah, I froze in my tracks as a familiar hand wrapped around my right wrist securely, stopping me from going any further.

 

"You are not to greet the guests at all. Is that understood, little witch?" I winced at my stressed nickname and nodded, keeping my gaze low and my reactions small. Knowing the blonde next to me when he used that title, it meant something serious, and if I were to go against that authority of his...

 

Alois's grip tightened on me as I inhaled slowly, ignoring the pressure he applied to one of my most recent bruises. It was one of my worst nightmares when I imagined him overhearing my most private thoughts. I would be killed on the spot, or tortured until my ultimate demise. Either possibility made my throat tighten in anticipation as I waited for the earl to speak.

 

"The costume ball may have been your idea," he signified, "but I'm the one throwing it. If you ruin my plans for tonight I will have something special planned afterward." His hand disappeared as I exhaled silently and my boiling blood came to cool. "Keep your disgusting mouth shut and that putrid voice nonexistent. That's an order."

 

All I could do was comply and nod before retreating to my spot. My legs already shook out of unease and the day had barely begun. Something told me this costume ball would only be the beginning of many plights to come. It was best to remain in sight, but out of mind. Although, I had no binding contract with Trancy I knew better that to disobey orders.

 

I had the bruises to prove it, both inside and out.

 

<><><>

 

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S)O FT H EW E E K ♚

 

What are some costumes you've worn for Halloween?

 

Fairy, princess, superheroes.

 

What will you be this Halloween?

 

Snake Charmer. Should be interesting. (Note from future: IT WAS)


	8. 7

I was not the only one forced to follow the earl this morning, Hannah was also chained to the blond's invisible leash. On our way to where ever his Highness was heading the she-demon and I shared a look behind the boy's back. Her navy eye (the other still bandaged) revealed deep understanding and a calm awareness of the awful day to come. My own were alert, yet dulled by the fact I had barely gotten a wink of sleep last night.

Although, I couldn't remember the sleep-depriving ordeals that kept me up, I did, however, recall a few details. The voice of Alois, his demon butler, an oddly familiar tone muddled into a whirling background of hazy senses, and being weightless. Those few specifics couldn't have been the part to keep me awake throughout the silent night, though, I felt they were somehow connected to it.

Hannah closed a door behind me, making me realize we had entered a familiar room. The bright pink and purple hues in my surroundings made me think of the light stream of my blood washing out of water on various occasions. My stomach churned in nauseous remembrance.

The earl sighed quite loudly and jumped onto the bed. His bright hair whooshed with his wild movements and settled around him like a cloud as he closed his eyes and relaxed. Maybe the boy would just fall asleep and leave us maids to relax in a calm silence.

"Hannah!" Alois barked, his brows furrowing.

 _Or not._.. Sometimes I wished my hope would stay out of the picture when it came to the fanatic in front of me.

"Lay out every costume," he ordered as the lavenderette went to work, disappearing into the wardrobe. Mannequins laid about and I assumed the demon butler had already prepared his highness's room for his outfitting. The dark-haired man was always prepared.

"(Y/n)--" Alois rolled off his mattress, ripping the sheets and covers away on his way to his feet. "Make my bed."

My eyes fell on the blond's pale fingers as he released the thick cloths, letting them fall into a puddle of fabric at his polished boot tips. I took a slow breath as I began my small chore, feeling the boy's gaze on me as I did so. Gritting my teeth, I bared with the attention and quickly fixed the sheets and covers to the mattress.

Just as I was laying the pillows down, Hannah returned, setting the costumes on the freshly made bed. Letting my eyes wander over the various suits and shirts, I frowned down at my uniform. It was all I had except for my nightgown that barely gave any warmth on freezing nights.

Alois stood at the foot of the bed looking over his choices with a dissatisfied scowl. It was then I wondered if he would dress as a vampire, but from the dresses scattered around the room, I wondered if he would be cross-dressing instead. It wouldn't be the craziest thing the earl would ever do, that I could promise.

The earl stepped forward catching my attention while picking up two fancy jackets. He stared at the black in his right hand first, before slinging it to the ground in disgust.

"Crap," he stated observing the matching coat with gold shoulder pads that reminded me of a soldier. "This is crap, too." He flung it away, his voice low and increasing in displeasure with each blink of his intense eyes. "Damned crap, and this, too!"

Clothing littered the floor like abandoned toys as I stayed put, not willing to catch the burning gaze of the boy's. Hannah stood by one of the windows to my right, on the other side of the bed. She, too, made no sudden movements as the young teen threw a childish fit.

The earl turned to the small table in the center of the room where accessories laid. A king's crown stood as the main pieces along with a staff, necklace of some sort, and a bracelet. Alois grasped the royal headpiece and drew his arm back making me turn fully towards him in fear.

"And this is the highest grade of crap!"

Regretfully, I made no move to stop the blond as he threw the coronal at the fellow maid hitting her straight in her good eye. She flinched leaning forward to clutch at her forehead. As she looked up my eyes widened as a stream of fresh blood spilled from behind her hand.

Needles dug into my skin as I flinched, just coming to realize my senses were all over the place today. When I was distracted with Trancy I paid no mind to my inner power locked away by the terror that had seeped much too far. Now that I focused on the feelings inside of me, the world spun like a top. All the prickling from the demon signal was too much for me to handle. With Claude now in the room some of it died down, but that meant the triplets were somewhere as well, unknown to me. The painful needle-prodding was strong, though.

 _Is one here?_ I wondered cautiously. A sharp amount of strain slammed into my chest making me bend at the waist ever so slightly. A burn began to seep near my left breast as I laid a hand on my chest, flinching.

 _What_ is _that?_ The warning was intense, nearly causing my eyes to water. Voices were heard in the background and I opened my eyes to see Claude bow as his lips moved. I managed to make out something about 'arriving'. _The guests are here, then. One of them has to be non-human._ I winced as Alois turned to a stack of dresses looking over the clothing choices once more. _And by the feeling of it, they're something strong..._

"I was choosing a dress," Alois spoke. "Claude, you wear something, too." The blond leaned forward holding up a bright red gown. My lips tightened as his highness laid the cloth on the demon's shoulder. Spinning he clapped and chirped, "Olé!" The butler was not amused.

I think I would have been if I had seen this scene from the eyes of a stranger, but knowing these two males for months all I saw was pain in human form.

Noticing the demon's frown, Alois squinted and sighed. With tense posture, the boy grabbed the red dress and flung it at me while facing Hannah.

"You didn't bring a single good piece of cloth." His voice was clipped and angered as he straightened and glared at the maid. "Strip, Hannah."

I bowed my head at the boy's order, shaking in my spot as the she-demon did as she was told with a straight face and bleeding forehead. I wouldn't watch her pull her clothing off one by one; it was sickening, disrespectful. Closing my eyes I waited for it to be over and heard Alois once the ruffling of clothing had died down.

"Preparations are done, right, Claude?"

"Yes. Day into night... Pleasure into agony... Waltz into requiem... I'm the butler of Kaiser Trancy."

The earl grinned and I felt his eyes on me as my senses sent a painful jolt through my entire being.

"Let us do everything in out power to entertain our guests."

Entertaining for Alois was one thing, for an entire crowd I could only revolt the oncoming ball.

**~~~**

I faced the wall as Claude changed his highness into Hannah's clothes. I had already been forced to change into another uniform, this one white with a black apron. I wasn't sure why he wanted me in a different dress, then again I never knew why he wanted a great deal of things.

His highness would be dressing up as a maid tonight, though I had no idea why. Perhaps he was going undercover as a job for the Queen. Was the important guest that had come actually some client or enemy of London? I could only let my mind fill with possible outcomes and ideas while the sound of clothing jostling went quiet.

"Until tonight, your Highness." Claude voiced. Heavy footsteps, the sound of a door opening and closing, then silence.

"Turn around you worthless trash." The earl called. He could only be speaking to me since Hannah had left long ago dressed in a new gown for the ball. Leaning on my dominant foot, I spun around slowly and bowed my head in respect.

"Tonight you will bite your tongue and will not spill a word of this to anyone, understand?" Looking up, I was met with a chilling pair of eyes. The blond now had long hair and the body of a woman. If I didn't know better I would say Alois had been female this entire time. However, his face would always be seen as a male snake to me, since he haunted my nightmares profoundly in his usual dark, lilac suit with an insane smile.

I nodded in reply as he grinned, putting his hands on his hips.

"Let us go serve those filthy pigs. Before the night is over I will have had my fun." His blue eyes squinted as he snapped, "Move it!" Waving his hand towards the door. I followed his orders opening the door for him with a bow. He walked out with an air of confidence and started down the hallway. With a small sigh, I closed the door behind me and felt the invisible leash of the earl's choke me, a sign to follow or face the consequences.

Getting close to the noisy ballroom (most likely already filled to the brim with high in society ladies and gentlemen) the burning agony in my chest struck once more as I doubled over in pain, gasping. I heard Alois chuckle as multiple footsteps sounded. Straightening, I saw the triplets, two of them holding trays of glasses.

"Something hurting, little witch?" Alois teased as he accepted the silver tray from one of the demons, his gaze locked with mine. Looking to my right, I took the tray that was held out to me by Timber and nodded to him, a silent 'thank you'. Taking a second to observe the glasses I saw mine were filled with water instead of wine, unlike the Earl's. Timber nodded at me and him and his brothers dispersed. Once they were out of sight, the sound of the party echoed and I gulped facing the doors.

"Remember," the earl whispered, his lips suddenly next to my ear as I tensed, "one screw up and you'll be suffering in depths of martyrdom." With that, the terrifying blond opened the doors and slipped into the ballroom.

With the pulse of one heartbeat, I followed after him, taking in the grand amount of people. The sight of so many was overbearing and I felt sick to my stomach as the noise echoed and tangled around my already aching mind. Shaking my head, I started to offer water to the guests. They took it without so much as a glance at me and I lost any hope of being noticed and saved from this hellhole.

 _All these people only care about themselves with their fancy clothes and big ego--_ I jumped, nearly losing my grip on my tray as a loud gasp came from behind me. Turning with a nervous frown, I stilled at the sight of a familiarly styled coat. _Oh_ , I warmed at the memory of one of my most favorite book series, _he looks like Sherlock._

"No... It can't be..." The man muttered shaking his head as he stalked closer, blinking repeatedly. I turned to face him finding it odd that he was staring at me like some prized possession while also looking in disbelief. Glancing behind me, I saw no one he would be looking at in such a way.

"Is... Is that you?" The honey-colored eyed man asked hopefully. "Could that possibly be you, (y/n)?"

I wrenched my head back at the sound of my name from the purple haired's lips and felt something snap at the sight of his astonished face. Once again, my eyesight faltered and blurred images flashed by like a freight train. Stumbling back, I shut my eyes, my breathing uneven and almost borderline painful for my throat.

"(Y/n)?" The stranger called, reaching out with a tan hand and I shook my head, getting choked up.

 _Don't get involved_ , I told myself and turned choosing to run away from the Indian man. I heard his voice behind me, but it drowned in the sound of chaos. The echo of creaking wood slamming against the floors and shattering glasses made me spin within the crowd. I was too short to see over the tall figures.

Trying to find a way out, I slipped through a space between two men and tried to find my way towards a doorway. The remaining glasses on my plate shuttered at all the movement I was making, and I looked behind me in fear of seeing the man who knew my name once more.

Clapping sounded as my eyes flickered back and forth, my heartbeat thumping like a rabbit's foot against the ground. Just as I thought I was free of the ballroom (a doorway was in sight) my shoulder caught someone else's. I turned in terror causing the last few glasses of water to tilt and spill on the both of us before exploding against the marbled floors.

Stumbling back, I felt the liquid seep into my white sleeves and sucked in a breath as the cloth went translucent. The bruises from the earl's book throwing and numerous other fits bled through the fabric like stains. Looking up I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach at the sight of glaring, ice-hued eyes.

Alois stood a few feet behind the person I had run into and from the look on his face, the martyrdom had been decided.

 _No..._ I bit back a horrified sob and blinked seeing the guest I had hit. A single cerulean eye met mine.

I didn't have a chance to take the beautiful color in before the scorching strain spread throughout my chest like a wildfire. I choked on a breath as I grabbed at my heart dropping the tray with a loud clatter. With the violent clapping, for whatever reason, the sound went unnoticed as did the shattering of glass previously.

My pained scream filled my head as I bit my tongue to hold it in and keep my voice nonexistent as ordered. I already ruined something, I wouldn't make it worse with blood spilling from my mouth. Hearing a muffled voice in the background, somewhere in the midst of my agony-hazed outlook, I looked up to catch sight of the eye once more.

 _You're hurting me_ , I thought to the boy silently as I backed away from his reaching a hand, graced with gloved, slender fingers and a gold ring on his middle. _Whoever or whatever you are..._

My hand landed on the door behind me as I pushed it open without a second thought.

_Stay away from me._

I rushed out of the ballroom with a fleetness I never knew existed. The farther I ran the duller the sensation of flames inside me became. My breath came out in huffs and stinging coughs while my feet pounded against the carpeted floor. I had no idea where I was running, but suddenly my right foot collided with my left and I went sprawling over a hard surface, knocking into a wooden corner. The collision sent a breathtaking blow to my lungs as I struggled to breathe starting to feel the blood blooming from my cut vocal chords.

 _Make it stop. Make it stop._ I begged, hating all the pain that engulfed me. Curling into a ball I scratched at the pavement pulling myself to the other side of the aisle to rest against the shelf of boxed teas. Soon enough the burn started to grow once more and I looked up in fear as a figure approached. It'd caught up with me.

I screamed, but all that came out was an animal-like cry as flesh ripped within and I backed up into the shelves holding my knees in front of me like a shield as I sobbed. My shoulder's shook and I crossed my arms waiting for whoever the outsider was to do something, but when nothing happened I froze.

Slowly, I looked up at the boy that brought me the painful sense. Once my sight became more prominent I was able to make out the stranger. He was young, possibly around my age with dark hair, an eye patch, and one eye the color of a wild sea. I gritted my teeth at the feeling of prodding in my heart. Focusing on his attire, I noticed a giant hat graced his head with a feather atop it. He was dressed as a pirate.

"...Are you alright?" He spoke raising a gloved hand out, growing closer. I shook my head, my breath hitching in fear as I tensed. The boy froze and raised both hands halfway in surrender as he backed away. The look of pure pain was etched across his face as well as a slight nausea-induced haze to his eye. At the thought of hurting, I found the burning in me had softened, but it still stung to the point where I curled my hands into fists.

"Do..." the navyet spoke, sounding disheartened as he looked at the ground them back at me. "Do you not know who I am?"

I shook my head and he clicked his tongue, turning his head away as a frown graced his features.

 _You're not a demon_ , I wondered, _but I can sense you and you're an awful feeling..._

"My name..." The boy started with a sigh as he offered a soft, hopeful gaze, "is Ciel Phantomhive." Biting my tongue at his name, I whimpered at the immense pressure in my head. It felt like my brain was going to rupture at any moment.

 _It hurts._.. I curled into a tighter ball, _but his name._.. My lips parted as I took a breath. _His name is familiar, just like that demon._... Looking up, I stared at the blue-eyed boy with fearful interest.

 _This is all because of my screwed up memories_ , I realized. First, it had been the insane, touchy blond head that had called me a 'dove', then it was that Sebastian Michaelis, and just before that Indian man....

 _And now it's you_ , I squinted, _Ciel Phantomhive._ His Highness's glare came to mind and the pieces clicked into place. _Is he the important guest?_

"Are you (y/n) (l/n)?" Ciel questioned with a hidden eagerness to know. Taking in his hard gaze, I hesitantly nodded and slowly began to get to my feet. I winced at the pain and blocked any connection to powers. The pain was still felt, but now that I had pushed the witch side of me down, I was able to see this earl still had his drenched coat on. He took in my clothing as well and I quickly folded my arms behind me.

"Your arms..." He noticed and I bowed my head feeling as pathetic as the floor people stepped on. I didn't want to be noticed anymore. "You've changed..."

I shook my head at his statement. _Changed? I don't know you... Do I?_ I bit the inside of my cheek in confusion.

"Did he do this?" Phantomhive gestured faintly to me as I blinked at him. I kept my mouth shut knowing it was best to do so. "Did Alois Trancy inflict these wounds on you, (y/n)?"

 _Don't say my name!_ I shouted silently backing away from him and farther down the aisle, where I met the wall. My head whirled as white figures pivoted around me, muddled voices screaming in my ears like banshees. The pain was something else--something personal--and it hurt like hell.

Gasping, I looked up at Ciel wanting to question him, but his focus wasn't on me. A drop of sweat dribbled down the boy's face as he stared wide-eyed at the tea shelf. My heart hammered in my chest as he muttered a name I was just starting to understand.

"Sebastian..."

_He knows the demon..._ _?_

I jumped as the boy leaned forward bringing a hand to his mouth as he fell against the shelves. The sound of a gag made me frown as I stepped closer. Was he sick? Pushing off the wooden holder the navyet collapsed to the floor emptying his stomach as I stepped forward. The strong feeling to rub his back made me reach for him, but my lips quivered as I brought the hand to my chest. I desperately wanted to help him, yet at the same time run away.

 _My body seems to recognize you._.. I frowned. _But why can't I?_

"(Y/n)."

I spotted Claude at the end of the aisle and my heart threatened to stop. Ciel shuddered and looked up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he took in the demon butler as well.

"You have work to do. Come along." His dull red eyes were slim behind his glasses as he stared at me. I hurried to obey his request before anything else—

"No." I winced as the boy answered, getting to his feet and faltering ever so slightly as I took a step forward. "You have no right to order her around."

 _Please, you'll only make it worse_ , I begged for him to be quiet as I walked by him. His blue eye burned a hole into my own (e/c) one as he stared at me, shocked. I stopped a bit in front of him, shaking my head in disdain.

 _'Leave,'_ I mouthed and gulped as I felt Claude shift to stand behind me.

"She is a maid of the Trancy estate. Of course, I have the right, Earl of Phantomhive." Claude answered. I let out a hollow cough as his forearm slammed against my throat pulling me to his chest as I struggled, grabbing at his sleeve. My eyes watered at the pain. Why was he attacking me in front of a guest?

"Keep your filthy hands off her!" Ciel roared. My eyes widened at the anger in his eye.

_Why are you defending me? I don't understand..._

"Until we meet again." Claude's other arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me away from the boy. His left hand reached and I spotted a ring on his thumb as the sensation of being weightless hit me.

Blinking, the earl was gone, replaced with a shrinking doorway. The demon was fast. I struggled to breathe in his arms as he carried me away. Grappling in the monster's grip, I slowed as I saw our surroundings shift from the manor to the darkness of nature.

Before I knew it, Claude's arms vanished and I slammed to the damp soil spitting up a mouthful of blood in the process. My arms shook as I stretched them out in front of me to push myself up.

"You wrench!"

I yelled as a foot slammed into my stomach causing my throat to be ripped to shreds as I puked an imposing amount of crimson. My body shuttered as I clawed at the loose grass, trying to get to my knees so I could have better access to breathe. Another kicked landed on my waist as I fell onto my side sputtering and crying as I curled into a protective ball, my back facing the abusive earl.

"I told you--I ORDERED you to keep your repulsive self out of the picture and you ruin the entire plan!" He screamed grabbing a fistful of my hair, yanking it from its braided up-do harshly. My scalp stung as he dragged me backward slamming my body against the ground as he placed his foot on my throat. I stared up at the insane boy as he glared down, going as far as to spit on me. I felt the revolting slush hit my ear as I grabbed at the earl's ankle. It was the farthest I had gone in defending myself against the psycho, sadly.

At my action, the sole of his boot drove deeper into my windpipe. I wheezed, whispering halfheartedly for him to stop. Dots began to cloud my vision when he finally wrenched his foot off me. I felt the print of the leather bottom bruised into my neck as I gulped for air, causing more blood to bubble to the surface from the sudden gasps.

"There's still a chance yet to obtain him..." Alois muttered somewhere in front of me. Rolling onto my side, I found it impossible to get to my knees. Just as I was about to accomplish the aching goal, his Highness continued, "(Y/n) will learn from her mistakes, won't she, Claude?"

I tensed struggling to just keep my chest off the ground.

"Although, I think she needs a bit of sleep first." I didn't have time to react as an agonized blackness swallowed me whole. "Sweet dreams, _little witch_."

And so the nightmare began.

**< ><><>**

In that moment, Alois knew, he'd fucked up.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

Have you ever broken the rules? If so, what the worst thing you've done?

_Yes. I've stolen property but it was when I was little and I snuck out of my parent's house once or twice._

 


	9. 8

Ciel thought death would be his undoing.

Ever since the tragedy of his parent's, the earl had seen such an inevitable end up close. Never had it been a welcoming sight, until he found a thread in the midst of blood and agony. Just one, flimsy spider thread was all he needed. That and a demon to bring forth a contract of revenge.

So death was only a result in those days--the days he sought to end all those who had soiled the Phantomhive crest. He'd accepted his fate the moment that monster's hand touched his. He'd promised to never give up his sole reason for living: vengeance.

It was all about the death in the end as it was always about it in the beginning. It followed the earl like a shadow, hanging above his head like a curse that would never cease. He had come to label the result not as his demise, but as his demon himself. Sebastian would be his undoing--his casualty. That was what the boy had assumed.

He never expected you to fall into the picture (quite literally, in fact).

 _A girl_ , he had told himself that very night, _a girl who has fallen from the future to land on my doorstep. How quaint--how annoying_.

He'd waved you off before, the moment your eyes met his, in fact. You were as plain as everything else to him around then. (E/c) eyes, (s/c) skin, it was all the usual for a human such as yourself. It was only when you revealed your true nature--that you were not actually human--did he come to begin to question you, or rather observe you.

The earl was known for his scrutinizing gaze, stoic expression, and overall cold nature, yet when you stared at him all he saw was a faint curiosity, mostly covered by a shy and broken nature. You weren't afraid, just cautious.

 _She is weak_ , he stated as you flushed and escaped to the kitchen on your very first day as a Phantomhive maid, one foot missing a shoe, _but she has potential._

It was rare to impress the boy. Surprising him was relatively easy when you lived with a bunch of random idiots, excluding Tanaka and the demon butler, but impressing him was nearly impossible.

At first, you were nothing but a rough piece of marble to him, then slowly you were scraped and chipped at to reveal the smoothness beneath. You would make a fine pawn for the Phantomhive estate.

Yet, it was one slip up he allowed and just one. He realized you weren't marble, but a foreign rock. Beneath that scuffed surface was something he never expected to find: a diamond. That wasn't the slip up he'd made, however. What was it you ask? It was so very simple.

He let you in.

It started with his name, then slowly his past came around, and then it delved deeper into the boy and who he truly was. To be blunt, what made him, him. You grew to understand the thing no one else could. You came to understand his heart--his soul. You were his friend, his worker, his partner in crime. You accepted his scars before you had accepted your own.

The earl was weak, he knew that. All he had ever had was that small thread until you came along. You broke through his wall to reveal a new path for his future, not one of death, but one of life.

If only he'd let his damning pride go.

But let's stray away from the "ifs" and return to the current point in time. No need to relive what had already been finished. It would just waste time that neither of you had. So let's sum this up, shall we?

Ciel recalled all of the memories. All of the memories that held _you_ within them. As for everything else? That was gone--completely out of the picture.

Now before we go into the midst of confusion let me explain something to you:

The fact he remembered everything involving you made him utterly confused himself.

The conversations, scenes, actions--they all befuddled him. There were only black backgrounds with you in the center, fighting, or interacting with ghosts that never cared to explain themselves. He just saw you, heard you, and felt you. That was it. Everything else around him was blank, nonexistent. That's what drove him mad the very night he woke up with you no longer by his side.

"Where is she?" he had asked the moment his gaze met Sebastian's. The demon only frowned and looked away. To the earl, he saw this as only one answer.

You were gone.

He never asked if you had died, he was much too prideful to spit questions at his butler to find the truth. But the memories he recalled were enough to form an answer on his own. You'd both had fallen for some unknown reason, water had been involved, and now you were gone.

 _She drowned_ , he thought horrified. _But why? What were we even doing in the first place?_ Those were the questions that drove him insane.

The lord never once asked anyone about his inner turmoil, never once inquired why everything was suddenly out of control and everyone was acting differently. Sebastian had explained enough to fill some blank spaces, but the demon offered no information on the witch. On _you_.

So imagine his surprise when you suddenly run into him at a costume party of all places.

Ciel had remembered you quite fondly. Shimmering (e/c) eyes, healthy (s/c) skin that glowed just slightly. A smile that turned the dullest of days a bit brighter, and short, (h/c) locks that seemed to fall into perfect shape to frame your face.

The girl he saw was anything but that description.

Your hair was longer and lied trapped in a restrictive up-do then normally free. That smile he'd come to crave on the worst of days seemed lost to the sunken face and tired eyes. Looking down at your figure he felt something tighten inside of him. You were so _frail_. Your wrists had thinned an awful amount, and just when he thought it couldn't get any worse he saw them. The bruises.

Your sleeves were drenched in the liquid that had spilled somewhere between your sudden collision with him. The fact that they were white was what made them transparent after adding water. If it weren't for that he wouldn't have seen the marks--the wounds littering your arms like stains on an expensive cloth.

 _What in God's name happened to you?_ His heart nearly shattered when his gaze met yours. All he saw was the undeniable pain in your eyes before you disappeared.

The earl knew better than to lose something twice.

While chasing after you it dawned on him why you were even running away among numerous other things. Did you not recognize him? How were you alive? What were you doing here of all places?

Ciel stumbled to a stop when your form disappeared into a room. Peeking inside with burning gasps spilling from his dry lips, the earl saw you had retreated into another doorway. He rested for a bit, trying to regain his calm exposure before he approached you again. While catching his breath the boy began to realize just where you were.

 _The Trancy estate._ Ciel's teeth grind against one another as he straightened his back. He had yet to meet this Alois Trancy, but from the looks of you he already loathed the bastard. It was only a master that could bring such harm to a servant in this time and place.

Finally back to his normal outlook, the navyet followed in your footsteps to the next door. Looking down he was met with a dark stairwell. In seconds everything began to blur and voices bubbled up from echoes. Nausea hit once more and the earl fell against the door frame for support. Why was it he reacted this way to the manor? He'd been feeling this sick, familiar sensation the entire day from when he arrived to the estate.

Knocking his well-being out of his mind, he focused on the important task at hand: finding you. Starting down the stairwell it wasn't long before he did. A pile of cloth and bones lying against a wooden shelf, he nearly broke down at your pained form. The only thing that held him together was that you were even alive.

 _If this is even her_ , he thought and doubt clouded his mind. _Please, for the love of all things living, let this be her_...

Once noticed, you rejected Ciel on the spot, digging your back into the shelves as to try and move further away from him. The sounds you made caused something to rupture inside of him. You sounded like a wounded animal, unable to form words.

Why did he scare you so? After a minute of being curled up in a human ball, you finally looked at him, taking in what you saw. The earl's stomach churned when you showed no signs of recognition. Was this really not you? Ciel took a deep breath when he saw your shaking frame and cautiously stepped forward.

"...Are you alright?" It was an idiotic question, he knew that, but it's all he could think to say at the moment. His mind was so tangled it was even shocking he was able to speak.

At the sight of his hand growing near, you tensed and the boy froze. He wanted nothing more than to keep you calm and to figure out this entire mess. So with strained effort, he backed away, frowning as you relaxed at the surrendering action. He just wanted to hold you, to see if you were in fact, real. Was this his (y/n)? Or was his mind just playing tricks on him? He didn't know which would be more disappointing.

Ciel managed to speak once more, asking you questions and revealing his name when you'd showed no signs of knowing him.

"Are you (y/n) (l/n)?" That was the main question. It seemed like years as he held his breath, awaiting your answer. When you nodded it took all his self-control not to drag you back home right then.

 _You're alive_ , he practically screamed in his head as you stood from your sitting position. _You're alive..._

The earl took in your bruised arms once more and rage engulfed him. You were breathing, but you were hurt, practically a stranger if he just stared at you. But even in your pitiful state, he thought you were the most beautiful sight in the world. The navyet muttered your differences under his breath about your arms and size.

"Did he do this?" Venom laced his tone as he waved to your trembling posture. "Did Alois Trancy inflict these wounds on you, (y/n)?" He asked when you didn't answer.

Your reply was backing away, further down the aisle. Ciel's eye widened, afraid he had frightened you. He was about to apologize when he spotted your now empty spot with interest. The shelf you had laid against was familiar. Painfully familiar. A voice echoed and he murmured the demon's name, knowing the tone belonged to him.

The world collapsed around the boy like a rag doll and queasiness wrapped around him, forcing everything from his stomach out. Like that would help any.

Just as he was regaining his mind again, a voice sliced through the muddled surroundings. It was deep and it said your name. Ciel already despised the man. It wasn't the fact that he didn't recognize the voice, but the way the stranger had spoken your title.

He'd called you out like you belonged to him. You most certainly did not. It was when the man ordered you to "come along" that the earl finally snapped.

"No." Ciel stood his ground, getting to his feet with a sickness in his step. "You have no right to order her around." The man was a servant himself, a butler by the looks of it.

A blue eye landed on you when you appeared beside its owner, walking by with a horrified expression in place. You shook your head once as you stepped in front of him. When you mouthed one word it made his heart go silent.

_'Leave.'_

"She is a maid of the Trancy estate. Of course, I have the right, Earl of Phantomhive."

He gritted his teeth as the man spoke once more. It took just one second and suddenly you were struggling in the butler's grip. Ciel reacted instantly, lunging forward with a murderous gaze as he yelled in rage.

One statement, wide (e/c) eyes, and the both of you were gone. Ciel raced after you, feeling his feet pound against the ground along with his heart as his surroundings shifted.

 _I can't lose you_. He thought. _Not again._

He ran and kept doing so until his legs finally gave out and he fell against a tree trunk, too breathless to even call forth his demon for help. No matter, he would be here soon anyhow, it had been a part of the plan, changed or not. His lungs burned and an ache was crammed into his side as he hurried to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?" The voice made the navyet gasp as he looked forward, trying to spot the owner of the new timbre.

The forest around him was dark and the air was cold as his lone eye searched. It fell on a figure as it approached and Ciel instantly knew something was off about this character. The girl that sauntered towards him was incredibly sketchy, but as soon as he heard the voice again he knew that was not a female.

"Are you in pain? Does it hurt?" The cross-dressing boy questioned as he continued to walk forward. "In that case, I'll lick and heal," a tongue flickered over slim lips, "your wounds."

"Stop with this farce..." Ciel concluded as the blond stopped in his tracks. The earl had seen pictures of the owner of the very estate he stood on, and now that he'd discovered not only was he mixed in with one of his previous cases with the Queen, but also had the most important being to him...

Well, let's just say if looks could kill the boy would be dead where he stood.

"Stop with this farce, Alois Trancy!" Ciel spat low and dangerously. Said boy frowned angrily at being caught, but let out a hum as he reached up, pulling the wig from his head as he spoke.

"So you realized at first glance? How boring." The fellow earl flung the fake hair to the ground as he fixed his own with a tight grin in place.

"I'd planned to let you make your move," Phantomhive admitted, "but circumstances demanded a change in tactics."

"Ah?" Alois breathed as he tilted his head, "You, too? It seems the tramp has ruined many things tonight..."

At the turn of his head, Ciel followed the blond's gaze as a tall figure stepped out from behind a tree.

The butler held the boy's attention for a second before it settled on your unconscious form in his arms. The navyet's heartbeat picked up its pace dangerously. More bodies landed to the right as Ciel saw the triplets from before, at the ball.

"But..." Alois smirked seeing as the known guard dog was outnumbered five to one. If only he knew a king could beat a game with one pawn left on the board.

"It's quite bothersome that you're underestimating me." Ciel kept an emotionless mask in place as his demon finally spoke.

"It's just as my young master is saying." Footsteps sounded as Sebastian revealed himself, not giving any signs to the sight of you as he continued, "I believe I warned you, Mister Claude."

"Nothing happened," Alois spoke up, turned with his left shoulder towards the pair. "I just wanted to have a word with him in a quiet place."

"Hosting a costume party and wearing that kind of clothes..." Ciel began. "What the hell do you want from me?"

 _And her_ , he added silently in his mind as he did his best to keep any emotion cut off concerning you. If Trancy knew his true attachment to the witch there would be too much at stake.

"I want you."

Ciel made a slight grunt at the reply and lowered his head as he glared at the boy before him. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I want to possess you." Alois clarified. "Just as I possess (y/n) here. That's all, Ciel Phantomhive."

How dare he even speak of you, let alone describe you as his. The guard dog tensed in complete anger. He wouldn't rest until that damn bastard was lying dead at his feet.

"If you refuse..." Trancy looked towards his home with a slim smile. "All those people there will be killed... I've prepared some entertainment for them."

Ciel did care for his servants and cousin, there was no doubt about that. Sebastian would follow out his orders, however. If things went according to plan no one would perish.

"If it starts, everyone will die." Alois smiled with a squinted, malicious gaze. "All the people precious to you..."

Ciel wanted to scoff, but fortunately, a breeze stole the action away causing his navy bangs to blow lightly from his forehead.

"What will you do?"

 _He wants me to trade myself for them?_ The earl already knew his decision to such a situation.

"Do as you please." His voice was calm and annoyed shocking everyone, except his demon butler who grinned.

"Are you really fine with that?" Alois questioned, surprised.

"If you can do that, of course," He dared finally letting loose his signature smirk. "I have some things I want to ask you."

"What? I don't mind telling you. If you go down on your hands and knees and wag your tail, that is." The pompous brat juts his behind out as a prime example while Ciel huffed at the audacity.

"I wonder who will be the one wagging his tail." He replied monotonously.

"Good answer." Alois straightened and walked towards the butler, you lying still in his arms. "Don't get so full of yourself because your butler is a bit capable."

The blond leaned against the man known as Claude, his arm brushing against your legs. The earl couldn't stop his hands from clenching at his sides. Alois raised his arm grabbing his servant's collar.

"My Claude is much better!" His overconfidence in the matter showed itself as he revealed the contract between human and demon. How surprising it lied on the bastard's tongue of all places.

"I knew it, you have it too..." Ciel muttered, seeing the final clue that revealed the demon butler of the Trancy estate. To think you were being held by such a thing made the boy's stomach churn.

With his gloved hand, he ripped his eye patch away revealing his contract in all its glory.

"You already know, Sebastian. Our contract is that you become my power until I have reached my goal. You mustn't kill me and protect me to the end." The earl repeated with an edge to his tone.

"Of course," Sebastian replied. "I've been your loyal slave since that day and will be until the day when the contract ends and I take over your soul. However, do not let such a simple circumstance cloud your wishes. "

"Nice answer." Ciel all but growled in anger. He'd overheard him list you as the 'circumstance' that had screwed up the current plan in action. The demon knew better that to believe such lies. "But my soul will only be taken if my wishes are granted and you will do so."

"Don't cajole your foot soldier," Alois ordered as the earl focused now both of his eyes on him. "Discussion time is over. Claude!"

The Queen's Spider turned to his demon.

"Get me Ciel!"

"This is an order, Sebastian!" The Queen's Guard Dog countered. He knew the only way for you both to come out unscathed was to keep the attention on himself. You were just here for the fact of presentation, Alois knew nothing of the relationship between you two, only that you had been his servant once before, and Ciel would keep it that way for as long as he was able.

"Do everything to protect me. Without fail!"

Alois's gaze flickered to you once the order was given and Ciel's eyes widened in determination to retrieve what he had lost when the time came.

"Yes, your highness." "Yes, my lord."

_Just wait a bit longer, (y/n)._

**< ><><>**

Go, Ciel! Be our knight in shining armor. Take your time, we're not going anywhere.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What would you describe yourself as personality wise?

_Lazy, creative, shy-to-in-your-face, easily angered or annoyed, silly, immature, blah, blah, blah._

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Heavy Gore Ahead**

Nightmares were such a difficult concept for me for a couple of reasons. They were remembered and forgotten at random, or they could be an exact replica of all my previous torture relating to his Highness. It was how horrifyingly real they felt that caused problems. Sometimes, I couldn't even tell the difference between reality and phantasms.

At this moment I was drowning in an abyss, falling deeper into the unknown as my hysteria threatened to finally end all of my suffering. However, no matter how fast my heart pounded, it kept doing so. My witch nature would never let me perish without a fight, even if I didn't want to in the first place. It wouldn't give up, even if the majority was against it.

_So stubborn..._

The fear of pitch black tore at me until an awful sound pierced my hearing, ripping at my mind like razors. I desperately wanted to cover my ears and block out any outside noise, but I couldn't in my weak state.

 _I'm tired of pain_ , my thoughts sobbed in agony. I'd had enough of it, the madness, the _torture_. After everything, I just wanted it all to end. _Just make it stop... Someone..._

Everything began to drift away as the sensation of awakening surfaced. My mind was disarrayed as I nictitated and just as I spotted movement something struck me across my face violently.

_Alois._

"Get up! Do you hear me? _Up!"_ He screeched as my weight shifted and I was stumbling onto my discombobulated feet. Glancing back and wincing at the needles in my skin I saw Claude was the one who'd been holding me. I collapsed without anything to keep me stable, skin scraping against the rug. What had happened? Everything was blurred and mushed into one big ball of confusion.

I just made out the earl's voice as he spoke, "Move it, whore. You get the privilege of dancing with me!" He was grinning, I realized, before being hauled off my trembling knees as I struggled to keep up.

I couldn't comprehend anything. Knowing it was best to just follow his Highness's wishes I trailed after him, bowing my head in utter fatigue. Something pressed against my face as I winced at the feeling of a demon's fingers brushing my cheek. What was put on me? A blindfold? No, I could still see, albeit barely. My insides were cramping; I hadn't eaten, yet I felt sick to my stomach.

My head dropped and I squinted at the clothing I wore. A thought crossed the maze that was my mind. When had I changed? Before I could figure out what I was in the air shifted and I looked forward, seeing the ballroom and its obscene figures scattering around like ants in their destroyed hill.

 _Just pretend_ , I thought and put every ounce of strength into appearing as if I wasn't about to pass out. My head was throbbing and an intense ache was sprouting from the side of my head. Had I hit it at some point?

Voices rose and lowered around me and my feet somehow moved on their own accord as the earl kept a firm grip on my wrist, or I think it was him, at least. I did as I was urged to do and blinked at the marble floors in a daze.

 _Why do I feel so sick...? Did he...drug me?_ Even my thoughts were slurred. This wouldn't be the first time I had been stupefied or the last with my luck.

A burning began to pool in my chest and as I went to touch where my heart lay my knuckles were snatched by a venomous grip. The sense, the new one...what had caused it again? One of the guests right?

"Dance, little witch." His voice slithered into my ear as I shuttered in disgust and felt warmth envelop my hands and waist. Alois and I were in dancing positions and the floor started to spin as I focused on staying in step with the blond. He was already going to punish me, there was no need to make him any angrier than he already was.

 _Almost done.._. I repeated over and over until I was jerked into a hard chest. I made a noise of discomfort as arms wrapped around me and shook afraid.

"Such a pitiful thing... Isn't she just, Ciel?"

I was blacking out, this wasn't good. Something slid across my chin and I was too sluggish to pull away as I sunk into the painful embrace of my abuser. Everything was melting away as I shut my eyes and gave into the nightmare.

"And she's all mine..."

**~~~**

I'd come to realize hell wasn't after death. It was life itself. Pain. Agony. Torture. Excruciating torment beyond the line of my own conscious.

My body jolted as my teeth sunk into my bottom lip bringing forth the smallest amount of crimson. Only a few drops splattered from the wound, the rest of the vital liquid was streaming from the sliced trails in my back, puddling around me. The costume the cursed earl had forced me to wear at the ball under drug influence was digging into my wounds. The black cloth was ripped to ribbons leaving practically nothing to cover the upper portion of my body.

A crack echoed once more. My spine arched in reply, causing my hands to pull at their restraints as I fought not to scream. I bowed my head, feeling my hair flow around me in a curtain of greasy, (e/c) locks. My very bones shivered from the cold air laced with the disgusting smell of sweat and iron. Each breath seemed to be my last as I suffocated in afflictions.

I laid there, positioned on my knees as I hung from the ceiling, my wrists raw from the stress put on them. If I moved I felt I would die. The skin on my back had been made ragged and I could feel grotesque slices of skin hanging against the pulsating wounds. I had already vomited everything up long ago.

There was nothing left.

My mind and body were still as I felt his presence behind me, I didn't move until I felt something slide up my spine. A struggled wail left my lips as I gagged on the metallic taste of blood.

"Ah... Such an exquisite color..." His deep voice reverberated in the cell as I stifled my sobs, feeling my eyes ache from all the tears that had been shed.

They continued to fall.

The sound of a deep inhale made my stomach twist as a low hum followed in its pursuit. I always knew the monster enjoyed torturing me; if I had a bloody wound his eyes would linger that day as if he smelled the damage he had caused to my body. The hellion enjoyed my pain, no doubt, just like his Highness.

"Delicious, truly," the dark-haired spoke. I would have scowled in disgust, but my fatigue wouldn't allow me to do so. "I could only imagine the savor of your soul. It has been raised through the bleakest of memories, marinated in the blood of your own and others..."

My raw eyes opened as my head was tilted back causing mountains of discomfort from being held by a hand that brought misery to every cell in my body.

His gold eyes held a red tint to them as he burned a hole into my own ruthlessly.

"I can see it," he whispered, "how much you wish to die. Some witches fell insane, never fully adapting to immortality. Their insanity was divine on my tongue."

A demon addicted to witches' souls. The sentence was familiar with every other detail nowadays.

"You wonder why I haven't devoured you, yet. Not to worry, it will come in all due time. Your soul is special, by which means you deserve a proper feast."

 _I_ ** _hate_** _you_ , I seethed over and over. The fact he made me even more scared than the past months I'd lived here was painful.

"In all my time I have never met a witch who had bound to someone. Is this a normal reassurance in the lives of such creatures?"

_I'm...bonded to someone?_

"Ah," Claude said in a rather bored tone, "you don't know yourself. Have you not realized your true potential? I see..." I winced, choking as something dug into my chest, right where my heart lied.

It was all too much to take in. My being was interlaced with another's—a stranger. How? When? The answers eluded me, a headache already forming.

I gasped as the demon's fingers dug deeper into my chest, sinking into bone.

"It raises a delectable soul, pain. The result will be worth it."

 _You...bastard..._ Claude smirked at me, his glasses glinting in the candlelight. I turned my head away from his touch as he smoothed my hair back, his hand roaming over my bruised chest as bile mixed with the blood in my throat. Rage tore through the wall allowing me just enough energy to exert. I spat at the devil without a second thought and the glob of carmine hit his cheek. My stomach lurched as his tongue darted out, licking the stain away. I bent my head down and gagged, but nothing came out.

I was an empty shell, bleeding and broken as a pool of red surrounded me.

"Sleep well, witch."

**~~~**

The feeling of slim metal sliding into my mouth made me gulp down the soup without hesitation. I was starving.

"Slowly, (y/n). I don't want you to get sick," Hannah explained as she fed me, seeing as I was too weak to do so myself. I was drained, practically half dead as I laid against the wall in my nightgown with damp hair and lidded eyes. She had taken care of me, washed me, clothed me, and now the she-demon fed me. How worthless could someone be? I felt so useless...

A door opened and I tensed as the damned earl entered. Hannah stood from her seat as she sat my meal down, lowering her head in respect.

He didn't deserve it.

"Oh!" Alois laughed as he walked towards me. "Look at you! A living corpse! Claude really did a number on you..." He broke off into giggles as he kicked at the whip that had sliced me open a dozen times the previous night. The blond glared at the maid, clicking his tongue in distaste.

"Get out, Hannah."

She could only obey, casting a sorrowful glance over her shoulder at me as she closed the door behind her. The boy grabbed my meal in the meantime, seemingly disinterested.

"Ciel's coming tomorrow! Isn't that grand?" He hummed as he swirled the silver utensil in my food, scowling at the mush I had to eat thanks to his despicable order. Hannah was a good cook, but mush was a disgusting texture.

"You know, I think you mean something to him, little witch. Claude won't give his opinion on the subject, but I think you were a special toy of his." The earl leaned forward smiling a few centimeters from my face. "Were you his whore? Or a valuable soldier, perhaps?" Blue eyes scanned me. "To think you had nearly killed those triplets... Now look at you. Trash, worthless, you're not even as interesting as the witches in tales."

His hand snatched my chin in a vice grip. My nose flared in response and my heart pounded in my chest. I hadn't lost the anger quite yet, the pain had ripped some away, but the terror was slowly draining. The numbness was beginning to encase me—it was suffocating.

"What a waste of a good dog, and to think I almost thought us alike in a few aspects..." Alois mumbled, squinting at me like I was a roach beneath him. "Pity. Oh well," he sighed, rolling his eyes, "I'll enjoy ruining you in front of the Earl of Phantomhive."

 _Alike?_ The word resonated in my head, tumbling down to join the scalding heat in my chest. **_Alike?_** _You don't even know the_ ** _meaning_** _of that word if you're comparing me to you._

No powers, no strength, yet something flickered inside of me for the shortest of seconds.

_̶T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶_ _._

My surroundings were flooded with white as rage engulfed my entire being.I wasn't in control anymore. My jaw flexed beneath his bruising fingers just as they let go and I lunged forward without any hesitation. I could see myself, see the monster inside me as **it** buried my teeth into his flesh. Bright eyes widened as a shrill scream echoed. **It** tightened my hold on him like a rabid dog as blood gushed into my mouth and dribbled down my throat.

The taste didn't bother me anymore.

 _"YOU BITCH!"_ His screams sparked something in me: satisfaction. It was nice to see him in pain for once and not be on the receiving end.

In a flash of white something slammed into my temple and my teeth left his flesh, bringing a few pieces of skin with me. I fell, landing on my left side, sprawled out on the stained, stone floor as the earl wept and roared.

 _You pushed me too far_ , I thought as something rumbled inside of me, something I hadn't felt in a long time. _I defended myself_ — _you got bit. Terrified or not I won't hesitate if I have strength. I will run or I will struggle._

You breathed fire and exhaled smoke, heart aflame.

_I'm tired of pain, so you can have some, too._

My body shuttered and my eyes widened. Warmth filled me as scenes came to life behind my eyelids as clear as day. The sensation of my powers flickering to life made me seize up in horror. What was I doing? What had I just done? Whatever had come over me had crawled back to its hiding place for now as terror took over.

My eyes flickered to my new surroundings as voices clashed and screams filled the air. I let the scenes seep into my consciousness as they played out.

_A village._

_A red-headed child._

_A fire._

_A revolting pervert._

_And a contract._

_These were Alois Trancy's memories._

He had been an orphan, starving alongside a small boy he'd called his brother, Luka. The both of them only had each other. Then the devastating fire came. The child died and Alois was left on his own. He was a slave, using his body and beauty to win over the sickening earl.

The way he became the known lord Trancy was an awful sight to behold, but now I realized what he had meant when he'd mentioned if we were alike. But I still had pieces missing, ones that would probably outmatch our tainted lives.

Before my powers drained I saw one last memory and everything was brought to light. Alois's reasoning behind inviting that earl to the ball and why that demon that had stopped by days before. It all made sense and I finally had something of a lead to go by.

I jerked as I blinked back into reality to find myself pinned to the wall by Claude's hand. Gasping, I dug my nails into his sleeved arm and scrambled to stand on the tips of my feet. The horror of my actions stumbled into me as the rage faded to an icy strip in my veins. The mistake I had made stared me in the face as I cowered.

"Kill her! _Kill her, Claude!"_ Alois shrieked holding his wounded hand as tears streamed down his face. His teeth gnashed at the air as he spoke, his stomach shuttering with every breath. If I hadn't been so shocked I would have thought he wasn't used to such pain. If the past I saw was, in fact, his, then wouldn't he be used to such agony like I was?

 _Maybe his pain is more mental than physical_ , I assessed. _That would explain his psychotic side._

"Your Highness, I thought you desired her to be the entertainment for the Earl of Phantomhive." Claude's voice was curious and low as he spoke, his grip tight, but not enough to be choking me.

"She hurt me! She deserves to die!"

"But in such a simple way?"

The inquiry shut the blond up. His arctic eyes squinted at me as I regained my composure from the sudden information on his younger years. No wonder he was so insane, we had similar backgrounds, but I'd kept my sanity mostly throughout mine (even though I couldn't remember some parts).

Why was it I made it out with my mind intact and Alois hadn't? I must have had help, comfort somewhere in the blank spaces. The earl didn't have that benefit. He didn't have someone to comfort him; there were only demons that both ruined his beginning and present. If only his brother had survived, maybe he wouldn't have turned out this way.

"Of course," Trancy spoke. "She deserves a slow, agonizing death. I'll beat her and burn her at the stake like her ancestors. That'll teach her, won't it, Claude?"

"Yes, your Highness."

 _A beating and then a bonfire? Is that really going to kill me?_ I queried. Thinking of the earliest memories of mine I had survived through hell and back, so how did this make any sense? Sure, it would be painful, but fatal? I didn't know about that. Of course, I was anything but confident in myself or my powers.

"Let her rot in here tonight."

The secure grip on my throat disappeared as I collapsed to the floor like a rag doll. I winced as a foot came crashing down on my hand the minute I hit the ground. Bones cracked and I bit my lip to keep from yelling out.

"It'll only get worse from here on out, little witch. Enjoy what time you have left." The world went black as something slammed into the side of my head and the last thing I saw was the retreating forms of the blond and his demon following in pursuit.

Blazing orbs glanced back at me, a smirk barely visible as the ravenet shut the door. Something told me Alois didn't know Claude's intentions with my soul.

_I'll die before I let you eat me, demon._

And that was a promise. 

**< ><><>**

You know a bitch is a female dog and dogs got some biting skills so...

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What are your pet peeves?

_Someone not screwing the cap back on a soda and it goes flat, leaving my door open when I want it closed, interrupting my music time, borrowing money from me, and so on and so forth._

 


	11. 10

The night was as dark and cold as all the others. Silence encased my cell and I stared up at the ceiling once again lost to my thoughts. Maybe it would be easier to give up and ignore the fact that Alois would be torturing me soon enough. It was obvious my time was running out. I'd finally perish and be free of this hell, at least. I was relieved for that, but everyone was afraid of death.

If I knew I wouldn't be a prisoner at the Trancy manor for the rest of my life maybe I would want to live longer. Perhaps I would finally be happy.

 _Maybe this is really the end_. Something doubted the speculation as I dangled from my wrists, tired and sore. _Is this what Claude wanted? Is this how he'll get my soul?_ I would be suffering after or during the visit of the Earl of Phantomhive, or so Alois had previously planned.

_Ciel Phantomhive._

A lot of things didn't add up with him. That damn demon had brought a fair amount of questions to the table with my soul being attached to someone else's, but I still couldn't remember the boy I had sensed so painfully. He recognized me, but so had a number of other people I didn't recall. My soul was connected to another's, could it have been one them? Of course with my trashed memories, it could be anybody truly. That was the main fact that worried me.

Alois had said he assumed I meant something to the navy haired stranger and I now knew his reasons of interest in the other lord, or rather his demon. Was Sebastian that boy's butler or something else entirely? How had I come to know him, then, if I possibly meant something to an earl with an undeniable death? I would have never had the chance to meet him since I'd immediately been taken into the Trancy residence when I arrived at this point in time. Sebastian knew me as well, so he was a part of my problem as well no doubt.

 _Ciel knows him_ , I contemplated. _So whether that's his demon or the man is just around for some other reason._ Too many questions once again, overbearing on my emaciated form. This was a weight too heavy for anyone to bare.

 _Guess I'll just have to wait_ , I sighed and slumped over in my imprisoned state. _Like they say, "all good things come to those who wait."_

For me, I feared it was the other way around.

**~~~**

In the early hours of dawn, Hannah woke me from a dazing nightmare that left me feeling immensely worried for the day to come. Today was the awaited day that Ciel Phantomhive would be visiting.

As my nightgown fell away I wondered when I had stopped caring about my scars being seen. Hannah had been the only one to really take care of me here, so I suppose I just gave in to her bits of help at some point.

As she aided me with getting dressed in my uniform (that was once again cleansed of any rips or stains) I noticed her bandages had been changed. I was sure the maid could take care of herself, but then I wondered if the wound would ever heal. Had I been wrong about demons not receiving scars like humans? The mindless question fell away as I washed my face free of cold sweat and grime.

Looking up into my dull eyes in the mirror I blinked and frowned. My back was still healing and the process seemed to be going at a snail's pace, but perhaps that was because I had been abused non-stop over the entire week.

My hand had mended at least, but it didn't help my case when the stitches from my whipping were torn or when new stab wounds were created.

Heading towards the door I slipped into my heels and regretted ever bending over. I stumbled and Hannah's gasp rang out as she caught me. The memory of lashes made me cringe as I felt my bandaged back shudder. Shaking my head at myself, I pushed away from the lavenderette and made my way out into the hall. I had been through worse, a rough back was the least of my worries.

After a small breakfast of porridge which I barely ate for anxiety reasons, I was soon faced with the front yard. The guest would be arriving soon. Hannah stood to my left with the triplets in tow. Just after the demons lied his Highness in his usual purple trench coat and the butler at his side obediently.

Keeping my gaze level with the ground, I felt Alois's heated glare my way. The reason was probably his bandaged hand. Maybe if I had a morbid sense of humor like himself I would be smirking at the damage I'd caused, but all I felt was a sense of dread. It was because of that one action I'd caused that he was seething with enough rage to kill me at some point today. I loathed my temper and the powers within me that fed off my emotions like a parasite. It was their fault I now knew his past and pitied him, it was their fault I was in this hell in the first place.

It started out soft and became louder, the sound of horses trotting against the ground. With a tap into my inner, deflated senses I became aware of the oncoming demon and earl. The burning in my chest was much more concerning than the needles in my skin. What was he? There were too many supernatural creatures to list him as.

 _Just forget it. Keep your eyes down and mouth closed_ , I told myself softly. When the time came Alois would do whatever he pleases. It was when that moment struck that I would decide my fate. To give up or to struggle. Either way, it would end in my death.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of black and tensed as the carriage stopped a good distance away from the porch. Footsteps crunched against the pavement and the sound of a slim door opening was produced as birds sang in the distant woods, unknown to the tense air between two earls and a whole group of demons. Sebastian was here as I had expected.

"So, you came, Ciel." Alois had a cheerful tone as I focused on my shoes, my hair swaying in the small trembling I exerted from jittery nerves and injuries.

"Alois Trancy." My insides winced at his voice.

 _Why can't I remember him?_ I wondered, my mind conjuring up the navy hair, sapphire eye, and sense of painful comfort somewhere deep in the caustic feeling in my chest. _If he knows who I am_... My pupils dilated wanting to glance up at the boy out of curiosity, _shouldn't I at least recall something between us?_

"Welcome, and thank you for coming," Claude spoke, most likely bowing.

"Come. I prepared a special stage for today." Alois's footsteps echoed as I turned with Hannah and the rest of the servants. As we walked I felt my heart quiver with every step. Had I missed something being stuck in the cell for who knew how long?

_Most likely._

Soon the group came to a stop in the vibrant grass as I glanced up at the massive chess board complete with game pieces and all. Large statues surrounded the table like Gods as I bit the inside of my cheek.

_This is going to be hell..._

The voices of Ciel and Sebastian came from a good meter or two away. I couldn't make out what they said, but Alois replied.

"Listen, Ciel. How about this?" He questioned with a low emphasis. "Our butlers will fight in our place. The one who is able to dance until the end wins. The loser will have to obey any of the winner's orders." A clap sounded. "Would you be happy with such a ball?"

 _Wait, so they're fighting? Over what? I'm so lost.._. I understood Alois wanted Ciel for some reason concerning Sebastian as well as Claude. The latter wanted my soul (in secrecy or so I assumed), so was the fellow earl just fighting to get out of the psycho's strange obsession or was there more behind the ravenet accompanying him? That's all I could think of, besides just playing the game out of some dangerous interest.

 _Unless_...

Unless Alois's assumption of me being of importance to the lord was correct.

"Well, I'd say that's a ball that will suit us. Definitely better than dressing up in false costumes."

I would have smiled if I hadn't lost the ability to do so long ago. At least this Ciel character had some humor. The toll of a clock tower sounded and I intertwined my hands out of nervousness.

"This is an order, Sebastian:--" My eyes widened as I broke my own rule and stared at the boy in shock. He did have a contract with the demon, then. "--win, and then bring Alois Trancy before me." The butler of Phantomhive bowed graciously with a grin intact. His master turned glaring at his Highness in pure rage. "I will finish him off myself."

"Yes, my lord."

A few feet to my right Claude spoke with a quiet, but dark tone in place, "Master, what is your order?"

"Ah, right." Alois turned his attention to his butler with a slim smile in place. "Make Ciel Phantomhive mine." The sound of a slurping tongue made me withhold a gag as I closed my eyes, returning to my bowing state. "And give Sebastian Michaelis the finest pain... You can do it, can't you, Claude?" The blond hummed low and dangerously, the sight of his dead younger brother echoing in my head.

"Yes, your Highness."

"Hannah and the rest get into position!" he spat as I froze in horror. Were we a part of this? I couldn't fight in my condition, I could barely even bow. "The rest includes you, (y/n). Stop dawdling."

I winced as the blond slung his hand out, hitting my shoulder for me to get a move. The contact sent a sting down my spine and I turned and made my way towards the group as his Highness called out, "Ciel, I know just the place to watch the show! Come along."

Despite my inner statement, I met gazes with the boy, his cerulean iris shining in the glow of the afternoon sun. His eye held no emotion, but perhaps he was as good at pretending as I.

_This is going to be a disaster..._

**~~~**

"Everything will be fine," Hannah spoke as I stared up at her with an empty gaze. The gun in my hand was heavy, yet strangely familiar. Had I shot one of these before? The thought made me sick. "Just stay behind me at all times and keep away from Claude and the rest. They will be doing most of the fighting."

 _'Hannah...'_ I mouthed, expression tight with worry. She gave a gentle smile as she laid a hand over mine, the gun clutched between my fingers.

"It will be alright."

A spark was triggered somewhere inside me as I scowled. Alois just wanted me to play his game and get hurt. He wanted me in pain after nearly taking a chunk of his hand and who knows how much I would be receiving after this fight? I shuddered at the thought.

 _Maybe that other demon will win_ , I contemplated. _Sure, he's outnumbered, but I won't be fighting much anyhow. So if he wins then maybe I can make a break for it or something._

 _But Ciel remembers me,_ I recalled, _this could be my chance to figure out what he knows._ My grip tightened on the gun, securely. _But first I have to get through this_.

Sighing, I followed the triplets with their multiple blades and Hannah with her knives and God knows what else. Demons were already powerful enough, but with the addition of deadly weapons, you might as well surrender.

**~~~**

Stepping out onto the gigantic chessboard I felt my chest restrict as I hid behind the woman who was far in front of me. Spotting the ravenet across the way with no tools in hands I pursed my lips in confusion. Did he _want_ to lose?

As the triplets fell into their battle stances and the lavenderette into hers I couldn't help but shrink back with my gun behind my back, rattling in my now weak grip. Sebastian seemed to frown at us before smiling at a few butter knives in his gloved grip.

Well, he had some weapons now at least. If Claude could kill with those, then, so could he.

"Well then." I heard said demon speak as he took up the front and center of the fighting stance. Everyone began to move in before a high-pitched yell caused everyone to freeze. I turned and groaned silently in annoyance. It was that other blond freak again, the one who had somehow recognized me.

I wondered mindlessly as the others went to greet him. Staying in my spot, I found myself closest to the chess pieces and blew out a relieved breath before catching gazes with Sebastian across the war square. He grinned at me, knives by his side almost harmlessly. I squinted at his expression, tilting my head ever so slightly.

 _And why do_ ** _you_** _know me?_ _Did I go to some demon reunion or something and just forget? Because I seem to know quite a few by now._

Rolling my eyes at my personal, but stupid inquiries I glanced further into the healthy garden to my right. My eyes fell on a single, white form out in the grass, just in front of a freshly trimmed hedge.

 _Is that a.._. I blinked in curiosity. _Is that a rabbit?_

Before I could deem it as one it ran off, retreating into the bushes with a speed I could never hope to match. It was an animal after all.

Hearing a shriek of excitement, I turned and huffed as the lobster hatted lunatic fawned over Hannah. I didn't bother to keep up with his rant, but Sebastian spoke up causing my attention to be caught out of interest.

"I must say you have a good eye, Viscount."

 _He thought I was beautiful, so I think there might be something wrong with his sight_. I replied mentally, seeing as I was walking corpse. Maybe if I didn't suffer from starvation and abuse every day I'd feel a bit better about myself.

Glimpsing up I felt distant as the said Viscount drooled over Hannah's knives and peered down at my gun. I really hoped I wouldn't have to use it.

"Ah~ Is that my dove I see?!"

 _Oh, hell no_. I thought not wanting him anywhere near me as I took a step back in fright, curling in on myself to seem smaller.

"We will be starting soon..." Claude began, taking the man's attention fortunately as I released a tight breath.

All too soon, however, everyone was back in their fighting stances and the tense air had formed once more.

"Then, let us start again." The golden-eyed demon stated. Sebastian said only two words in reply.

"Danse Macabre."

 _Dance of Death?_ I thought before my eyes widened, taken aback. _Since when do I know French?_

I didn't have time to think it over as the battle began. Claude called out an attack combo as I winced, backing away into the over-sized, stone chess pieces for cover. My gun was held in front of me in a firm, terrified hold. The sound of metal scraping against metal was teeth grinding as the opposing butler fought off the triplets with smooth movements, sparks flying from weapons crossing.

I gasped and coughed in return as I watched the sibling's weapons break from the ravenet's attack, Claude quick to order more offenses. I prayed he didn't expect me to know any of them.

Even with a new battle plan, Sebastian was still able to avoid the triplets easily, in which they replied with a clashed together spear. My breath caught as the three demons launched into the air, throwing their weapon with a precise aim at the supposed enemy below.

I was just barely able to watch as the fellow hellion blocked the tool of death, swinging it around his shoulders and using his hands to gain more speed with frigid spinning tricks that made me a bit dizzy to observe. With one kick and a taunt throw, I watched in horror as the three servants in the air were shot through their heads, hanging from one of the statues above mercilessly.

Cupping a hand over my mouth I gulped, knowing better than to pronounce the brothers dead.

 _Maybe he really will win,_ I thought, staring at the butler clad in black, matching Alois's demon perfectly in every aspect so far.

A rush of air blew my hair back as the fellow maid entered the scene, my chest tightening as she began her section of the Dance of Death as Sebastian had so efficiently named it.

For once someone managed to nearly hit the opponent, Hannah being able to slice the butler's suit with her blades, but no blood was shed.

"I will have to mend this," he commented.

"You don't have to," Hannah replied with a confident voice, something I had yet to hear from her usually soft-spoken self, "since you will soon be full of holes."

She ran forward, threat spoken and pulled out two guns firing simultaneously as I flinched at the loud bangs, gritting my teeth as I moved my back too much.

_Now he's just showing off._

Frowning, I watched as Sebastian fixed his coat, having already been prepared with a needle and thread it seemed, while bullets whizzed passed him not leaving a single scratch. I nearly choked when the lavenderette brought out a new, massive gun underneath her skirt.

There was no use in wondering how she'd hidden it, so I left the thought alone as I felt eyes on me. Just barely turning my head I met Claude's empty gaze and tensed. I shook my head defiantly. He angled his glasses as they glinted in the sunlight, neck stiff. It was a warning.

I gritted my teeth as I looked forward just in time to see a raining of silver as Hannah was pinned down by a multitude of butter knives. My breath caught, but she moved, making me respire in return.

A dark figure landed to my left a few feet away as I spun, holding my gun up instantly as the opponent stood, towering over me.

His ember eyes focused down on my form and he turned swiftly, pulling more knives from his suit holding them between slim fingers. His face was grim as he stared me down and I clicked my safety off with a trembling finger.

"Will you shoot, (y/n)?" He questions, voice soft as he tilted his head ever so slightly.

My eyes closed at the sound of my name and imitations sprouted in my head, just before the toll of the clock sounded. I gasped as the floor shook and stumbled back as the demon did so as well, much more graceful in avoiding the stone chess piece as it separated us.

I landed on my side, face screwing up at the intense ache in my back brought on by the fall.

"Stop there," Claude called to the equal butler. "It is tea time."

**< ><><>**

One shot, two shot, three shot, all I hear is gunshots.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

Have you ever handled a gun? Would you want to if not?

_I have and I felt pretty bad ass even if I missed the target every single time._

 


	12. 11

[Throws early update into the maws of the audience and runs]

The air was heavy as I sat on my bed, legs still as I stared at the ground. My gun sat to the right of me, ignored while the sound of clothing ruffling was heard across the room.

Hannah's uniform had been ripped so I'd gone with her during the tea time break. It was only a matter of time before the Dance of Death continued and this time I would be the first one facing Sebastian. I knew it as soon as I made eye contact with Claude while walking off the chessboard. His eyes had punctured mine with their intense glare and the silent order had been understood.

_"You will fight him."_

I was too scared to wonder what would happen if I didn't, but the thought still hadn't let my head. If I surrendered I would be in trouble, but Sebastian would have a better chance at winning without wasting excessive energy on a weak fighter like myself.

"It is almost time, (y/n). Are you ready?" Hannah asked, standing by the door. I glanced up before looking at my ordnance beside me. With a deep exhale I seized it, following the lavenderette out of our room.

Hallways fell passed and lights flickered in out of the corners of my eyes before we were back outside, sky colorful as the sun was setting. The night would soon be upon us and so would my ultimate death by Alois Trancy.

Stepping onto the stone chessboard once more I ended up on the right of Claude since he stepped between Hannah and me leaving no room for assistance. The triplets were nowhere to be seen.

"Well then, let us resume our ball." The glasses-wearing demon voiced next to me.

"Shall we dance?" Sebastian replied, smiling devilishly towards him.

"Fine. Well then." I felt those sinful eyes on me as I gripped my gun impossibly tighter.

"(Y/n)." His voice was bone-shivering cold as I swallowed my copper-tasting saliva and stepped forward, legs trembling with the action. Once I was three steps in front of the pair behind me I looked up into the eyes of the ravenet, thoughts drifting.

He stood motionless and expressionless once more, gloved hands empty and aura overall neutral. Taking a breath I raised my gun once more aiming at his handsome, but dangerous gaze. He offered a slim, borderline friendly smile.

"Once more," he uttered softly. "Will you shoot, (y/n)?"

My heartbeat pulsed in my chest and into my mind as I inhaled slowly. A moment passed and a breath escaped.

 _No..._ Closing my eyes, I let my arms drop, gun scattering against the floor as I quaked in my spot.

_I can't shoot you._

A pained cry left my lips as the tight grip in my hair pulled my head back. My spine was forced to arch and the stitches in my back dug into my skin uncomfortably. I shifted, gripping the sleeved arm behind me, trying to pull his fingers from my hair.

"I see your cowardice has reached its apex." Claude said monotonously before his nails dug into the back of my neck. "Such a shame."

A pain gasp tore from me as I was thrown backward, my unleashed hair flying forward before the merciless grip left me. The strength behind his action had me rolling across the cement roughly. My clothes tore over the stone's rigged grasp, my already pulverized backside slamming into the rounded curve of a humongous pawn. A breath left me in a broken scream that drifted out into the garden.

I laid still, blood seeping from the cuts and no doubt ripped sutures of mine as I choked. Tears escaped my eyes without consent as I brought my bruised arms closer, shaking as I turned onto my stomach trying my best to get up off the ground, but I went nowhere. All my energy had left me and I felt fresh crimson climb up my throat before I vomited out, finding it hard to do so when I couldn't even move my body.

The mucus-infused liquid slid down the corner of my mouth as I faced forward, watching blurred, dark figures dance ahead of me, a gleaming flash of emerald catching my defective sight. Someone took up my view as a rumble beneath me soaked into my bones. Who was winning I wonder?

A muddled voice sounded before hands slid under my beaten body. I winced, whimpering at the movement and relaxed into the warm embrace of the lavenderette. The purple sky above me was the last hazy image I saw before I let the darkness claim me.

**~~~**

_A golden outlook met my enervated gaze before I realized I had been here before. Looking down at myself a clean, white button-up dress covered me and when I raised my hands no bruises were seen on my arms, nor my legs when I lifted the skirt._

_It was strange to me, being completely free of wounds._

_Blowing out a smooth breath I walked forward, feeling the soft flooring of the landscape kiss my heels as I sauntered, no destination in mind. I leaned my head back as a breeze wound through my hair, blowing it into tangles. I pursed my lips, observing a stray cloud overhead. It had been left behind by the others, much like my memories._

When will this all be over? _I thought, closing my eyes as I continued on mindlessly. Swallowing, I frowned when I felt the sharp blades retract within and stop in my tracks._

_The vanilla sky met my sight as warmth filled my chest like a steaming bath suddenly overflowing. Righting my head, I was met with a white table with two matching chairs, all made from a swirled, solid material. Taking a seat, I blinked as two cups of freshly made tea sit atop the surface before me, no signs around me to show where they had come from._

_Waving the wonder away, I grabbed the closest cup and take a sip, relaxing at the rich taste the liquid gives before gulping down my mouthful. Something inside me heaved a sigh at the familiarity._

_"I'm glad to see you're enjoying the tea."_

_I jumped, snapping my attention forward to the boy sitting ahead of me. His navy hair and ultramarine eye were strikingly familiar as my lips parted in shock._

It was you... _I heard myself say within._ You were the one I kept dreaming about.

_"I do wish you wouldn't give up so easily," Ciel commented, a slim frown making its way onto his beautiful face as he sipped his own beverage slowly. "It does me no good seeing you in pain. I worry."_

'Why?' _I felt myself mouth._ 'Why do you care?'

_The silent question drifted through the air as the earl blinked, humming to himself as his gaze flickered down to his drink._

_"You don't know why?" He replied as I squinted at him, annoyed at the inquiring reply. "You must know by now_ — _we knew each other once upon a time, yes? If you don't try to remember, no answers will come."_

_"I've been trying!" I yelped and winced, coughing as a single drop of blood left my lips landing in my cup of tea. I watched as a swirl of darkness swept the liquid into a different hue, damaging the taste no doubt with its metallic flavor._

_"It all lies where it all began, (y/n)." My gaze connected with the boy's as he sighed, tilting his head away. "Alois does not deserve your pity, but shall you forgive him for all the deeds he's dealt, perhaps he will turn over a new leaf."_

Forgive him? _I wondered. My thoughts suddenly went blank, surroundings going bright._

I̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶. **It** _seethed silently, leaning forward in the seat with a heated glare._

_All it took was a blink and I was back in my upright position, no anger found in my expression._

_Terrified, I stared down, wide-eyed as I gripped the edges of my chair._

What is that? _I shivered._ Why does this keep happening?

_"You must decide who the real enemy is." Ciel suggested calmly, catching my attention with his soft features as he set down his teacup. "Is it the earl or is it his spider?"_

Spider? _I repeated, furrowing my eyebrows._ What does a spider have to do with anything?

_"You don't have much time, (y/n). He will try to break you," The boy began to drift away as a breeze picked up, soon turning to the rigid wind._

_"What?" I asked, throat burning as I wheezed for breath. The colors began to fade and I feared my question would not be answered, but his voice echoed._

_"Don't let him into your head or all hell will break loose."_

**~~~**

My eyes flew open as I took a deep breath, taking in the flat mattress beneath me. Relaxing at the recognition of Hannah's and my room I sighed, relieved to not have woken up in that awful cellar. Taking a moment to recall my dream, I was surprised to find I had every detail and word stored within my head. I hadn't forgotten it like all the others.

_Maybe I'm getting better._

I started to sit up but pain shot down my spine as I moved. Pausing, I swiveled my legs over the edge of my bed as I took even amounts of breath, doing my best to ignore the aches. Once again my beaten body greeted me for another day in the Trancy hellhole. But after everything I'd gone through today feels different than all the other hopeless ones.

My memorized dream left new issues to deal with and some vague answers to ponder over, but the calm air within the manor caused me to wonder what happened after I had passed out from Claude's brutal attack.

Alois would have eradicated me already, right? It seemed he never got the job done seeing as I was still alive and breathing at this moment.

 _Who won?_ I questioned silently as I looked towards the door. _And why didn't Alois kill me?_

Getting to my feet with struggle, I made my way out of the room still in my roughed up uniform. I guess Hannah had been too busy to change me, or perhaps she had gotten in trouble for helping me off the board. I frowned at the thought and continued forward.

Feeling my senses buzz, I knew demons were fluttering around like soulless butterflies deeper into the mansion. Windows strayed by revealing the dark of night as few lamps lead my journey. How long had I been out? It certainly had felt like a good amount of time, but I could never be too sure.

Stopping by the dining room as well as the kitchen, I found nothing but empty space. My senses were weaker than normal, so did that mean some of the staff was out? I paused and stared out a single window pane, my reflection staring back at me wide-eyed. The nature beyond was quiet and slight movement caught my attention as a small spider hung from its web outside the glass.

 _"You must figure out who the real enemy is."_ His voice echoed in my head. _"Is it the earl or is it his spider?"_

 _Spider_ , I pursed my lips. _Where does a spider fit into all of this?_ I tried to pick through my recollections as I made my way onto the second floor of the mansion heading towards a place I abhorred to be.

When reaching the large wooden door I knocked. No answer came and I frowned before checking my surroundings. Seeing no one in sight, I made my way into the office without permission.

Spotting no blond head within I squinted in confusion and close the door behind me heading towards the desk on the opposite side of the room. Reaching the grand table my eyes scanned over the papers before they settled on a familiar wax seal. It was already broken leaving me to read the letter without any signs I had ever done so.

Skimming over the neat handwriting I stopped as I reached the end and bit the inside of my cheek.

 _The Queen's Spider_ , I read and fought down the urge to hum in satisfaction. This was what that dreamed up earl had meant, but then again how could I trust a fantasized scene from a warped brain like my own?

 _It's the only lead I have for now_.

Leaving the mail where it had been previously, I left the office and started down the hall wondering where the boy would be at this hour. He should have been working, if not eating, but if Ciel had won the contest then maybe he had left, but I severely doubted that.

_Where is everyone, then?_

Making my way down a few halls, I turned towards the doors that lead outside. Pushing them open I hesitated in my steps. Doing something like this was dangerous, especially if it seemed as if I were trying to escape.

Glancing over my shoulder, I pushed through my worry and circled around the garden to find the massive chessboard where as I had left it, although more in ruins than I recalled. Trying to map out the battle and see who had won, I found no evidence left behind except for rubble from the few destroyed chess pieces.

I stood at the edge of the once arena, the ground cracked into webs of stony material. My thoughts drifted as I brought my quivering hand to my cheek, eyes lidded with exhausted puzzlement.

Pivoting, I froze as a slight breeze rustled my hair, sending the locks to my right as my eyes widened. I couldn't sense it, but I knew it was there, behind me. Fear crept up my spine as my lips parted, hand falling to my side as I dared to face the bright figure hiding behind my form.

Nature was deathly silent as my focus landed on the sight before me, my lungs inhaling a short breath in awe.

Its ears fluttered in the small gust of wind, annoyed by the sensation, I supposed. Though, the creature stood proudly across the way, mirroring me on the edge of the chessboard. The sheer purity of the stag before me was breathtaking, its fur as white as freshly fallen snow that I had no memory of ever seeing.

It stomped it's left hoof once, the sound reaching my ears a second late from the distance. With a humble bow of its antlers it shifted to its side, almost gesturing, it seemed, to the forest in the background. I squinted as it repeated the movement, wonder filling me.

 _It...wants me to follow?_ The thought was insane, but I felt an invisible tug towards the animal as my foot stepped forward in reply. I vaguely understood the fact I was moving before my body froze. The realization that I was on the very edge of the war space echoed and I stared across the grass, eyes wide on the stag as it stood a mere few feet from me. It huffed, blowing a warm breath over me as it blinked and I winced at the action, shoulders rising as unease claimed me.

This was the farthest I had ever been from the mansion and I was utterly terrified.

The creature bowed its head once more, rotating back towards the woods again as it moved back a few steps before returning to its prior spot. I stumbled back and it followed in pursuit as if there were an attachment between us. Its head bobbed, another huff escaping its coal-colored snout. I shook my head.

_This isn't real._

I had to prove myself this was just another careless illusion. Glancing down I took a breath, raising my hand to frighten the animal off. I expected the stag to scatter at the sight of my palm, but it only came closer frightening me with its massive stature as it towered over me.

My fingers trembled in the air just before ivory fur kissed their tips, my chest constricting at the contact.

 _It isn't afraid of me._..

Golden eyes met mine as I allowed their color to process through my head. I thought the hue would terrorize me, but it was much gentler than the ones I had come to fear. It reminded me of my dream landscape; calm and soothing.

A choked gasp left me as the animal lowered, snagging my white sleeve with his teeth as he backed up, trying to pull me with him.

 _No, I can't!_ I shook my head vigorously as I tried to rip my clothing free of the stag's grip, but he wouldn't let go. He stomped his hoof, digging at the dirt as he huffed trying to lead me farther into the forest.

 _"No!"_ I whispered, throat burning. If I left--if someone noticed...

The animal released my sleeve as he rose his head to stare at something behind me. I tensed at the needles as they prodded at my skin and whipped around to find three pairs of ember eyes staring me down.

My heart thundered in my ears.

It wasn't Claude. It was always Claude, so why...?

 _He's not here._ The reason for my weakened senses, why no one was around...

 _He's not here to stop me_. The triplets seemed to hear my thoughts as they surrounded me. _It's only you three._

Shivers ran down my back as a growl rumbled behind me. I turned and found the stag nowhere to be found. Instead, a white tiger had stolen its place, tail curling and whipping at the air furiously as its fur shifted.

The predator eyed the demons around it, glancing at me, but quickly away as if I wasn't a target. How was I not? If I were to reach out I would be able to touch this beast, yet being beside it gave the creature no alarm whatsoever. I observed its eyes and a wave of comprehension washed over me as I lost myself in its golden irises.

 _You're not scared of me,_ the triplets began to circle the pair of us as the wild beast growled in reply, hunkering low. _You're protecting me._

Canterbury struck out, revealing a dagger as he swiped at the mighty beast before me. The latter roared facing the demon head on as he brought his claws up, lunging at the figure. The others began to dance around the animal and a sense of worry grew inside my chest. The tiger leapt at the brothers dodging their attacks with rapid snaps of his fangs, fur bristled in anger.

 _He can't beat them on his own_. But what could I possibly do? I had no weapons and I certainly couldn't fight. A pained howl made me snap my attention back to the animal as blood dripped from a fresh wound on his back leg. A profound ache hit me square in the chest as I gasped, stepping forward.

"Stop!" I wheezed, voice useless as I hacked. The demons did no such thing as they began to go in for the kill.

_No..._

A blade glinted in the moonlight as I lunged forward.

_No._

Visions flashed in front of me as familiarity stared me straight in the face. Golden eyes were wide, teeth bared as he twisted to greet the oncoming weapon with a brave ferocity. He had to know there was no way of surviving this, yet he fought on.

That spark flickered as my eyes opened wide, heat expanding within me as flames grew as well as rage. No more pain. No more bloodshed.

 _" N O ! "_ My blades dug into my throat as my scream rang out, the ground falling away as I landed against something warm. The world spun as bright red eyes blended into the dark background, needles fading as the feeling of falling surfaced. I snapped my head back, blood spilling from my lips as I heaved, the night sky stained as I closed my eyes.

My side hit solid ground as blades of grass licked at my face. I could only process the ragged breaths of mine as I gagged on vital fluid.

Forcing my eyes open I scanned the area around me to trees scattered everywhere, enough to take up the view of the very edge of my sight. Huffing, I turned looking all around me, reveling in the new surroundings as I panted at the impact.

Seeing no signs of the shapeshifter I frowned, worried I had left behind my defender, but movement next to me eased my consciousness as I was met with a rabbit curled up next to my stomach. Gold eyes blinked before staring up at me. I scoffed in amazement letting the silence of my senses sink in. It was a few moments before the statement finally settled.

I escaped.

**< ><><>**

Jinny boy! Welcome back! It's been awhile.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What animal have you always wanted to see Jin in?

_A giraffe._

What animal would you like to be for a day?

_A dolphin._

 


	13. Chapter 13

The gentle rocking motion of the horse was soothing as I rested upon his back, head buried into his unruly mane. It had been hours since my sudden journey from my prison to the middle of nowhere.

The sun was already rising and with it only more trouble or so I assumed. My eyelids were heavy and I feared if I let them close I would never wake up again, or possibly this was just a cruel dream itself and I would awake back at the manor, a slave once more.

Focusing on the shapeshifter's mane I found it hard to separate my own hair from his. I assumed my sudden journey had taken a toll on my powers, seeing as I had never wielded them properly before now. It was only a handful of times I had slipped up and let my talents take control, but never this much.

I hadn't even known I could travel so far, let alone bring someone with me using such tricks. It was all a new concept, but that underlying feeling of familiarity proved I had done something like this before.

 _I need my memories._ I thought desperately as I pressed my forehead into the creature's neck. _What am I missing?_

Swallowing, I winced once again reminded of my raw throat. Screaming always did do a number on me. My body leaned forward as the horse suddenly came to a stop. I straightened, tensing at the ache in my back as I peered around. There was still only trees for miles.

I jumped as the shapeshifter bent down coming to lay on his knees. Noticing his panting I frowned and slid off his back. Guilt ate away at me as I spotted the wound on his back leg; I had forgotten about it until now. I stroked his sweaty side gratefully.

 _Good job,_ I wanted to say, but my actions would have to do.

With a soft sigh, I blinked and laid beside the now rabbit (it would take some time getting used to that), head sinking just slightly into the soil beneath me.

 _Free, but lost_ , I contemplated. _Relieved, but confused_.

Turning my gaze down towards the animal I was met with small, human feet instead. I jerked back, scrambling to a sitting position as a white-haired boy stared at me, expression tired, but concerned. Feeble hands were wrapped around his calf, dirty pants covering his injury.

"I-I'm sorry, I know I should have waited, but I... I have to talk to you," he sputtered, words slightly slurred and eyelids low. Auric eyes gleamed in the early morning light as I gawked in shock. "You don't remember me...do you?" He sighed.

I was still for a moment before shaking my head in reply. The boy's expression saddened considerably as he looked down, biting his lip.

"Thought so," he muttered, shaking his head, "since you didn't know anyone else..."

My eyes widened as I waved my hands at the boy, movements clumsy from my fatigue. He watched me as I tried to mouth the words--the questions.

 _'W-Who are you?'_ I gestured. _''_ ** _What_** _are you?'_ His eyes squinted as he tried to read my lips.

"I...I can't explain everything. It will take too long and it's not safe out here. We need to go home, back to your time."

 _'I can't go back there, I don't know how,'_ I explained. If I had I would have done so long ago, but part of me wondered what the point even was of returning back to my old time.

There was no home for me there. My mother was gone and I sure as hell wasn't going back to the devil that was my father, my brother being no better. How did this boy even know of my powers in the first place? How did he know _me_?

"Yes, you do," he spoke. "You've already time traveled a bunch of times. You can do it again."

I gave him a scornful glance, confused and exhausted as well. Just saying I time traveled before didn't help if I didn't even recall it. He could have been lying as well.

"Don't look at me like that--I can't help you, we're disconnected. You blocked me out or something. Ugh, I don't know what to do..." His voice drifted as his eyes glossed over. That ache from before grew in my chest as I tried to comfort the child before me, laying a hand over his small, pale one on his knee.

 _'Disconnected?'_ I asked silently. We had to take this one step at a time.

"We're bonded." He shrugged as I blinked. "Or...we're supposed to be."

 _Is he the one Claude mentioned?_ I wondered. _Are our souls connected?_

"You have to stop pushing me away. Every time I try to talk to you I run into a wall." He told me, tone helpless.

_'What?'_

"...How do I tell you this without overwhelming you?" He questioned himself, looking away as his shaggy hair fell into his eyes. He needed a haircut. "Well, you know you have powers?"

I nodded.

"Okay, well, you're a witch."

I nodded again having been called that a good many times.

"And...I'm your familiar...?" His voice grew higher as his head ducked at the explanation.

My eyes squinted as I tried to recall what I knew about such a thing. Hadn't I read about them in a book once?

 _'But I'm blocking you out?'_ I asked lips raw and syllables mute. _'Wait, what's your name?'_

"Uh...um..." He cleared his throat as his eyes glanced away. "I... M-My name is Jin."

 _Jin._..

My lips formed the title as I pursed my lips feeling an itch at the back of my head. Voices were shouting in the background, vague and muddled like an unfocused picture.

"You have to let me in, (y/n). I need to figure out what they did to you."

 _'Did to me?'_ I huffed, growing dazed.

 _All you would see would be just pointless torture and familiarity._ The image of dark cells and cold, bloodied chains had me wincing.  Then, I was reminded of my befuddlement of going through my memories in that very cell and finding them discombobulated.

_Half the things I remember don't match up with anything; nothing ever does anymore. I don't even know who I am let alone all these people coming at me left and right._

I fought back a frustrated groan as I laid my face in my hands, lethargy catching up with me. The anger never seemed to subside, though. It just kept growing, like black mold on a crumbling wall. All the strength fueling said emotion left me jaded as I laid down, having no choice but to close my eyes. Grass tickled my skin as nature went dark.

"Imagine a wall," Jin instructed, voice muffled as I sucked in a breath.

The image came as clear as day and I stared up at the massive stone barrier that rose into the sky, stretching out as far as the eye could see. If I focused on the cracks and dents in it, I found grotesque details sticking out amongst the bland gray.

Pieces of hair and splatters of blood were stuck beneath the rubble as well as what I assumed were chips and shards of metal and glass. If someone were to slam you up against this never-ending shield you wouldn't come out unscathed, that was for sure.

"Keep that thought, (y/n). I know you can see it." The boy's voice echoed as I tilted by head back, greeting the dark, cloudy sky with a numb gaze. It seemed as if it would rain soon. That was fine, I enjoyed storms anyhow.

"Focus on the wall." He bids and I do so, slowly. "You have to break it down."

 _No. It's protecting me._ I disagree instantly, my hair being whipped around by the wind as the oncoming storm begins to roll in.

"It's not a shield, (y/n). You think it's keeping the worst of everything out, but it's really only trapping it all in. The wall is separating us and cutting off your powers. You can't ignore them."

 _All they ever did was cause pain_. I'm reminded of the fall and the day I came face to face with the nightmare that was the Trancy manor. _It's their fault._

"Your powers are the ones that are trying to protect you. You're pushing it all down and it's damaging your head. You have to let them go."

 _No, no I can't_. Fear crept up, its slimy grip beginning to close around me as I forced myself to keep an even breathing pace. _Every time they slip out I get hurt. I'll get punished again--I don't want to get punished again!_

"It's okay. Whoever it was, they're not here. They can't hurt you anymore."

 _No, he's always there, lurking just out of sight._ Every time I thought I was alone he was right there, breathing down my neck and waiting for me to mess up.

"Stop building the wall. (y/n) you have to listen to me. If you keep this up you won't be able to use them and you'll go crazy with all that's pent up over time. You have to let them go. Break the wall."

 _I can't._.. My head shook as my lips trembled, the ink-colored hands of horror beginning to get a grip on me as I struggled to dodge their attempts at pulling me down into the pits of hell again.

_I don't know what will happen! How can I trust them?_

"They're you and they're me. They're us put together. That magic is made from our bond and our trust. All you have to do is let go. They'll catch you I _promise_."

_...I'm scared._

"It's okay to be afraid."

It was right behind me, preparing to mold against my body and destroy what little hope I had left. The smell of blood and the coppery taste of it stained my senses as I stared, eyes wide open. There were cracks in the wall, it was damaged, as if something had tried to break it down at one point or another. All I had to do was give the finishing blow. The bigger the opponent the harder they fall, right? God, did I hope so.

 _You got me in trouble,_ I thought, feeling the spark within as warmth radiated in my chest. It hadn't left me just yet. _When my emotions went out of control, so did you._

The fear was dissipating as the dark clouds above began to rumble. Every hair on my body stood on end as I took a breath.

 _But every time I fought back you were right there_. The spark was a full flame now, lighting my chest with a burn that I could almost compare to that painful sense that navyet had given me.

 _When I got hurt you worked hard to mend me, didn't you?_ Thunder roared above as I curled my hands into fists at my side, any unease blown away by the stark, strong wind driving through my hair _. And how would I know about demons without my senses to tell me?_

They purred to life, begging to be let out once and for all, the warmth tugging at my heart--my soul. The sensation was comforting as I brought my hands up to my chest, inhaling gradually as all the positive outlooks on my talents were brought to mind. They wanted to help. They were tired of being chained up inside of me just like I had been all those nights in that horrible chamber. If I was out of there, then they deserved to be, too.

 _I'm trusting you_ _,_ I told them, sincere while closing my eyes as the build up began to quiver. The wall was following in pursuit, shivering and bits and pieces falling into to dust from the rugged wind.

With one final breath, I tapped into that section of myself that I never dared to all this time.

The sensation of puncturing the barrier hit and I just had time to blink as a strike of lightning flashed, splitting through the massive wall with a bang that silenced anything within a mile's radius.

The wall crumbled and the fire consumed me. I could just make out Jin's voice as the world spun, voices crashing into me while faces flared. I felt sick, weighed down with the unknown.

_"You really don't remember anything..."_

_I don't?_ Colors swarmed me, buzzing around and morphing into figures and shapes as I struggled to make sense of anything.

 _Too fast_ , I thought, albeit bluntly. _What all did I forget? Can you tell me?_

_"I'll try to fill in the blanks, but you need to rest first."_

_Will you be able to see...everything?_ The thought of Jin having to sit through my entire life to find the mistakes scared me to no ends. He would see my darkest of moments that no one was supposed to know.

_"It'll be okay, I already know everything about you. That's the whole point of being bonded, you know."_

_But I still have so many questions..._

_"Sleep first. You'll need all of your energy once I explain everything."_

_Is it going to be a lot?_

_"It's your entire life's story. What do you think?"_

Attitude. Ouch _._

_"_ _Now, please sleep. I'll keep watch."_

The changing scenery around me faded to black as I blew out a breath, letting my mind drift. It didn't take long for me to fall to sleep, but then again I never got a full night's rest. Nightmares were common as well as sudden wake-up calls.

I wish I could just sleep all of my problems away, but who would want to be stuck in a world of illusions? Then again, it definitely sounded better than the hell people called life.

Sure, nothing was real, but happiness was already an illusion in the first place. Our brains just created it for its own selfish reasons.

All of it was just made up, a bunch of fiction within reality...

Right?

**< ><><>**

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

Who would you want me to write for in the future?

_I can't answer that????_

What is your main fandom?

_At the moment none. I'm on and off with a lot of things._

 


	14. 13

 

_"Let's start from the beginning."_

**~~~**

My imagination could run wild. I had come to learn that after so many nightmares, but some of them were my memories. They had just been twisted in a way where if I pointed up, it would be any direction but that one. Now I knew my past was just as severely discombobulated.

All I had to do was start from the first recollections and move onward. That wasn't too hard; I just had to take it one step at a time. Jin was there, somewhere in the background of my mind. I relaxed letting the sense of him seep into my self-conscious. It felt, in a way, crowded when I opened my eyes to a black landscape with only a massive, wooden desk and a book laying open on its surface. A comfy-looking chair beckoned me as I proceeded forward, taking a seat as I blew out a breath.

 _My first memory,_ I think to myself as I gaze down at the blank sheets of paper before me, wrapped up into what I assumed was going to be my whole life until the present point in time.

Ghosting my hand over the first page I nodded to myself, feeling Jin's determination burn within me. I could do this. He believed in me, something I had never had, yet it felt right. It fit in the contraption that was my brain and was accepted easily. I could trust him. I could trust them--my powers. They both were there to help me, not harm me.

Taking one last deep breath I closed my eyes and dug far back into my head, ignoring the bits and pieces of my past that haunted my being every second of every day. It was time to relive it all. One last time.

 _My name is (y/n) (l/n)._ I began as a sliver of light crept through my eyelids, daunting around the empty space that was my sight before sounds grew all around me. Someone was crying, someone was laughing. I recalled only one of the voices and it made my heart ache as I felt her warm embrace for the first time.

_I was born on (birthday) to my mother, (m/full n). I was her second child, her first being my older brother, Jackson. She was kind and strong, taking care of me through my infant years. She even saved me from my brother when he tried to drowned me in a pond in our backyard..._

_She was the first to die_.

I waited for any comments from Jin. There was a part of me that hoped he could shine some light on anything I was missing. Maybe there was a chance I had everything completely wrong. Maybe my mother was better off...

Any hope for that was crushed as he spoke, _"All of that is true."_

A profound ache began to sprout in my chest as I moved forward with the rest of my memories. When I hit the age four the blank spaces began to stick out more.

_Then, when I turned five--_

" _Stop_." Jin cut me off as I froze, worry gripping me as well as excitement. Had he spotted something?

 _What is it?_ I begged when he didn't speak up.

_"I can't... They took all your memories of Smile, too."_

_Of...my smile?_ I frowned in confusion.

" _No. Let me--let me start over._ _"_ He sighed. _"_ _Alright, um, at some point when you were little--I'm not sure exactly when--a man came to you during the night_."

 _A man...?_ I backtracked through that year and found only a numbness to each lonely scene.

" _He knew who you were and what you were going through. He wanted to help you--to take you away to someplace safer. You were afraid of him at first, but after a while you began to trust him and he became your somewhat real guardian. He didn't have a name, so you named him_ -"

 _Smile_.

A slim grin echoed in the darkness as I gasped, bringing my hands to my mouth.

 _I-I remember! He-he had black hair and he was always standing over me and-and taking care of me after I got hurt..._ My eyes watered as I sniffed feeling my chest constrict. _I know there's more to him, something's missing, but I know who you're talking about. I can see those points in my life. They're blurry, but they're there._

" _Good. We're making progress. Keep going."_

And so I did. My younger years passed with all the abuse and all the sorrow, clips of happier times with my secret friend popping up along the way. I now knew why I hadn't lost all hope back then--why I hadn't fallen victim to the depression. It was because I had him.

When I reached my eleventh year the potholes in my memories were almost painful.

" _Alright, I know what's missing here. On your birthday Smile came back from his trip with new books and stuff. This was when_..."

 _When what?_ I pushed, desperate to know. _I didn't lose him, did I? He didn't die, did he?_ All the worst case scenarios sprouted as I struggled to call down.

" _No. This was when he finally told you he wasn't human_."

 _Right, he was a...he was a_... The word was on the tip of my tongue and I felt the disgusting sense creep up my skin as I tensed. _No...he was... He was a demon?_

" _Yes, but remember you trusted him. He didn't want you for any reason other than to take care of you. Smile was your friend, not some monster like--_ " my familiar cut himself off before something slipped out.

_Who?_

" _We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Keep going_."

It was getting harder to. I was approaching that time, the one I always dreaded to recall when days became the worst of the worst. My twelfth birthday had been hell remade and I hated every staining second.

" _It's okay. You can skip over that part, just remember that Smile took you away after that_."

_I didn't run away?_

" _No. He took you to London because that's where you wanted to go_."

_Right and then that storm came and you did, right?_

_"That's right."_

_Well, then we're almost through,_ I sighed.

"... _We're nowhere near done_."

 _What?_ I felt my stomach drop. _B-but this is when I fell into this era and went to the Trancy manor._

 _"(Y/n) you have no idea how much you're missing between the time you fell and where we are right now. Why do you think Ciel and Sebastian were familiar?"_ I was taken aback by his question.

_How did you know--?_

_"Bonded. I know almost everything about you. Now I know why you were choking on blood... I'll be able to heal that, I promise. We just have to get the blades out first."_ Why was he so hopeful? How did I have such a strong familiar? I didn't deserve him.

 _Will I be able to talk again?_ I wanted to hope along with him.

_"I think so."_

... _Well, if I didn't go straight to Alois then what happened after I time traveled?_ I wondered completely lost.

" _This is the part where you start listening to me. I'll try to tell you everything in one go, but you're going to be really confused after all I have to give."_

 _So what happened that night of the storm?_ I began.

" _You were lost. I lead you to a mansion, but it wasn't that blond brat's_." I would have laughed if it didn't hurt so much because he was so much worse than that. Alois was more than words could describe.

_Who's was it, then?_

" _You already know his name_."

I felt my heart pulse strongly in my chest as any amusement strayed away. That strange nightmare came back to me, the one where I was staring at an entirely different home. Could that have been...?

_I went to the...Phantomhive estate?_

" _The one and only."_

_I couldn't have been there long. I can't recall anything with that boy._

_"(Y/n), he's literally like the second main character in this part of your life."_

_What? How could he be such a big focus?! He doesn't seem like the main character at...all..._

My eyes widened as I heard my voice come up behind me, whispering in the far corners of my consciousness. The words were repeated a handful of times, all different in their own way. There was no doubt in my head that I was saying it to someone else.

_It can't be..._

" _Ciel was such a big part of your life here. You guys ended up being really close."_

 _Then what happened?!_ I screamed, curling in on myself as my story fluttered its pages before me, desk creaking as I dug my nails into my scalp. _Why don't I know him? What makes me so special? He hurt me every time I saw him! I don't know him!_

" _You worked for him for the first few months."_

_No._

" _But then you guys started hanging out more. So much crap happened because of him. People were after him or he was after someone every other day. You almost got yourself killed for him a dozen times over."_

_No, why would I...for some stranger?_

His blue eye blinked at me, the golden outlook of my dream shifting in the background as he walked towards me.

 _Stop_. He did no such thing, pushing on. Figures began to walk alongside him, dancing with their scenes--the true memories.

 _This can't be true...it's too much..._ But I knew that face anywhere, he was standing right in front of me, hair swaying in the nonexistent breeze. He was grinning softly down at me like I was the center of the world.

" _He was your friend_."

My heart rages against my mind. Trusts against fears. Family against stranger. Do I know this person? This earl of Phantomhive? Or is it myself I don't know? My body was tensing up, his pale, slender hands were cupping my face, looming closer as his lips moved silently. I shook my head, but I couldn't leave his warm grip as he stared into my eyes, forehead resting against mine.

" _Please_..." He whispered and the sorrow behind every letter was as clear as day as he embraced me. "Please, remember me."

I felt it.

No.

I felt _her_.

She was screaming inside of me, that side I could never hear because of that wall. It was gone and she was free. Her words were ripping through my skull as everything came flooding back. She needed him, she wanted him to know that she was here.

I could see him. He was holding my wrist cleaning a wound and fuming with anger. Then he was running away from me in all my mud-bathed glory. In the next moment, he's holding me, a game of chess in the background as my heart aches thoroughly when I part from him. Then he was asking me to stay, and I was boiling with jealousy as I walked away, but there he was again sitting across from me in the garden nearly smiling as I laughed, tears spilling from my eyes at his statement. We were friends.

 _No_. I contemplated. _He wasn't my friend._ My hands curled into fists as opened my eyes. Ciel still stared at me, forehead soft against mine as I choked on a breath _. I cared for him...way more than I should have-!_

A sob tore through me as he brushed my tears away, pecking my cheek with familiar lips that I had felt once upon a dream.

The memories were cracked--shattered into pieces, but they were there, drifting and refusing to be destroyed. There was too much raw emotion behind every second of our eyes meeting--of our voices going back and forth. There was too much for it to all just disappear.

So young and so insane. How could we not grow attached?

 _'Ciel...'_ I mouthed, cupping his face. He respired, leaning into my palm with a peaceful expression I so desperately wanted to be real. A sob tore through me as I smiled at him. "C....iel."

_I loved you._

His widened for a split second before he relaxed his expression.

"There it is," he murmured, bowing his head as his eye gleamed. "There is that smile. I told you to keep it, did I not?"

I nodded, laughing breathlessly. It hurt, but it was worth it a million times over.

He began to fade and I already missed the illusion of him.

" _You remember now, but I just don't understand how you could forget everything. Especially being a time witch. Your memory should be nearly indestructible_." Jin was thoroughly confused and my dream of the earl disappeared as his touch did so as well. With a sigh I once again stared back at my book, however this time it was closed.

 _It is indestructible_. I stated. _They all survived, I still have everything._

_Then how-?_

_It's all right here_. The smell of blood washed over me as I tensed. _Torture. They used all that pain--they built it into a wall and trapped it all inside of me. That's why it hurt so much to see it. That's why it hurt so much to remember._

"... _I'm sorry. I looked for you everywhere and then, all of a sudden, Ciel was back. I tried to talk to him_ _, but_ _Sebastian wouldn't let me, he gave me all these reasons not to tell him 'just yet' and I was too focused on finding you."_

 _Right, Sebastian_. From what I could remember we didn't end on the best of terms. Demons were such a nuisance. Except for Smile that is.

"... _So, what now?"_

There was the real question.

It had such a simple answer.

_Ciel's still alive, I have a new demon after me, and apparently, my soul is intertwined with someone else's. Care to take a guess?_

"... _Oh, no. Now it all makes sense."_ The ivoryette's voice grumbled, pout evident _. "I always thought it was weird how I could read him like you at times. I thought maybe my observation skills were just getting better_..."

_I have to find him._

" _He's been going nuts. He tried to kill Alois, but I think he survived. I think that's why Claude was gone when I tried to get you out of there. Something's going on between them and if my hunch is right Ciel was set on getting you out of that place, but something went wrong_."

 _What?_ Worry filled me.

" _I'm not sure, but we have to plan this out. You're still weak and Sebastian is still screwing things up, but now we have more demons to deal with--why the heck is it always you?!"_ He fumed as I laughed, wincing as I pulled away from my mind, returning to reality.

_I don't know. You should ask whoever is in charge of life._

" _If I ever meet them they'll be sorry for doing all of this to you."_

 _Thanks, Jin_. It was great to have his ferocity back in my life.

Opening my eyes to a starry night I blew out a breath at the chill surrounding me. Sitting up from my spot on the ground I found Jin on my chest as a rabbit. Without a second thought I pulled him into an embrace, he was quick to turn human to hug me back.

"I missed you." He sniffed, rubbing his face into my collarbone, his hair ticking my jaw.

 _I'm so sorry, Jin_. I apologized as my head pounded, fatigued from all the recollections that had been brought back from the dead. _I thought you died, but when they started to hurt me... I was so scared you would feel it even if you were gone--because I still felt you_. My eyes screwed shut as I buried my face into his un-tamable hair. _It was all I could do to separate myself from you. I didn't want anyone else to feel what I was feeling. I'm so sorry..._

"It's my fault!" He cried out. "I wasn't t-there to--I couldn't get back up and then..." He broke down, wailing as I held him impossibly closer, rocking us back and forth. This child was my entire life apart from those Phantomhive few.

Minutes passed as I calmed him and then it hit me.

 _Wait a minute_. My eyes popped open. _How long have I been missing?_

"More than a year..." Jin answered, wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve as he hiccuped. My heart tore at the sight of his raw eyes.

_I wonder why it took so long for Alois and the rest to get Ciel's attention?_

We both went silent at that question.

"I-I don't know. It was a long while before Ciel got back from where ever he went. I was searching all those months, he just showed up not too long ago. I remember seeing Sebastian the next morning along with him. It had stormed pretty bad the night before so I went to find shelter and I was near the mansion, so..."

 _Now I'm really worried_. I thought, looking around the forest. _If he was missing for all those months as well, then where would he have..._

My eyes began to water as my throat tightened uncomfortably.

_Oh my god... I know where he was._

_"Where was he?"_

I cupped a hand over my mouth as tears streamed from my eyes. It all made sense why I felt so comfortable around that spirit in the basement. It had been _him_. Somehow, he had been held prisoner at the Trancy estate along with me, but how had he been there without me ever seeing him?

_Please... Please tell me they didn't have his soul trapped there all that time._

"I'm sorry. (y/n)." Jin whispered as I hid my face in my hands. How could anyone be so cruel to him? His past, let alone his contract with Sebastian had brought enough pain and grief, but then they steal his soul away? "(Y/n)?"

 _I'll be fine, don't worry about me._ I sniffed, anger boiling in my blood as I wiped my eyes. _How's your leg?_

_"Don't worry, you're not the only one that heals fast."_

_I'll worry, let me see_. Jin turned with a sigh, revealing the back of his calf to me as I frowned. The slash wasn't deep, but it still looked plenty painful. I couldn't believe he carried me with such a wound.

"(Y/n) what are we gonna do? Is Ciel really worth facing Sebastian again and now that other guy, Claude?" I flinched at his name and blew out a breath.

_Even if I did just leave him behind--and I'm never doing that--he still has a piece of my soul. Claude is after that and he's after me too. I have to beat him to Ciel and get around Sebastian somehow._

"How?"

 _I don't know_. I bit at the inside of my cheek as I leaned back trying to get my thoughts together. _We have to go back home._

"To your time?"

_Jin...that's not my home._

Golden eyes squinted in complete and utter disappointment.

"...(Y/n), no matter what you do this isn't gonna end," my familiar shakes his head, words far too intelligent for his age. "Sebastian still wants his soul and so does that other demon. You have too many people after you and I'm tired-!" His breath caught as he choked on his tears. "I'm tired of saving you if all you're gonna do is keep dying!"

His eyes burned as his words piled into me like a truck. My heart shattered at the anger and hurt behind his voice. It was then I could see all the burden I had laid on his shoulders, all the pain I had allowed to slip through. How could I do something like that to an innocent child?

Who truly was the real monster here? Those demons or me? I bowed my head at that mindless question and huffed.

"Jin." My voice was raw and horse and I coughed ruggedly.

 _I love Ciel_. I saw him flinch in front of me and continued on. _There's nothing I can do about that and there's nothing you can do about it either. I can't go back and change it. That's just how my story with him went._

"(Y/n)... _Please_ , I'm begging you... J-just forget about him and come back home. Smile needs you and Diana--"

 _I'm sorry Jin. I have people more important to me now_.

"More important than me?"

_Jin you're my_ **_family--_ ** _you're a part of me. I love you to the ends of earth and back, but he means a lot to me, too. I can't choose your way._

"I mean it this is time, (y/n). There's not going to be another way out. Death is inevitable for Ciel, but not for you. Just walk away, please."

_You have a choice in this, too. I'm not leaving him behind._

"I'm not strong enough... I can't--ugh!" His face scrunched up in anger as he bared his teeth. "I can't leave you behind either!"

 _It's your choice. You're free to leave or go, but if you stay I don't know what will happen._ He went silent for a few minutes, golden eyes glimmering in the dark night ahead. I was tired, he was exhausted, and we both needed a break. However, one would not come until the first plan was devised. It was all up to Jin if I would be doing this alone or not, though.

"...I'm not a good fighter," he speaks up, voice feeble and eyes closed with a defeated look upon his face. "But I'll heal you. I can promise that at least."

 _Jin_ , I lowered my forehead onto his. _Thank you._

"You wouldn't make it without me anyway, right?" He teased weakly, managing a smile. I nodded, eyes watering as I sniffed. My throat was uncomfortably tight, but that didn't matter at the moment.

_Let's go find Ciel, yeah?_

"I know the way back to the mansion." Sighing, I forced myself to my feet, eyes scanning my surroundings with a clear view I felt I hadn't had in my entire lifetime. A sense of hope filled me for what felt like the last time as I took a breath.

_Let's go home._

This time everything really was going to come to an end, so if there were any farewells they would have to wait until my heart stopped beating.

**< ><><>**

Don't you...forget about me **.**

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What is your favorite thing about Ciel Phantomhive?

_I love that even after everything he's gone through he still has such a delicate heart and sharp mind._

 


	15. 14

The journey back home was as tiring as one could imagine with the weight of the world upon your shoulders. I was still getting used to the pressure of all my retained memories as well as using bits of my talents again.

Managing to heal Jin's leg up left him the chore of carrying me again on his stallion form, but he didn't mind all that much. The whole time he galloped across dirt roads and by towns I only cared enough to glance at, I was wondering what exactly would be waiting for me back at the manor.

My familiar had told me it had been rebuilt to perfection and I wasn't too surprised when he said Sebastian had been the one to do it. All the servants were accounted for and had taken care of him the last few weeks after everyone's return to the estate. He told me how much they missed me and how confused they were when prince Soma had told everyone he'd seen me at the Trancy costume ball. They wanted answers, but Sebastian had the talent of putting everyone at ease, calming them with lies.

Apparently, Ciel had thought I perished and was beyond angry with Sebastian once they had returned the very night of our first meeting. The demon had covered up the blame by saying he never pronounced me dead in the first place and that it was the earl who had assumed my demise of his own accord, or so Jin overheard.

The ravenet must've been just as surprised to find me at the Trancy manor as his master had been. Of course, he'd had the privilege to find out before anyone else. He didn't mention the news to anyone, not even to Jin. It left a sour taste in my mouth.

Soon enough night had fallen victim to the morning and only a few breaks had been given, Jin relentless to get back. I did my best to time skip after short naps, but he knew I needed to save my energy, so it was late afternoon when I caught my first glimpse of the Phantomhive mansion.

It was as beautiful as I had remembered and brought tears to my eyes. There wasn't one detail to show the massacre it had been through on that damnable night, and I found some part of me was glad to have had Sebastian around to fix it up again. Hopefully, this would be the last time it would ever need such help.

The feeling of comfort had stayed as I came to the front of the manor. I sighed as I tangled my hands into Jin's mane. It was all real and I was painfully happy to be home, but I didn't have the luxury to savor my surroundings. Just as my feet hit the ground I realized I sensed nothing. There was no pinpricks or pain in my chest, and I knew better that to expect an ache in my jaw. Sebastian wasn't here and neither was Ciel.

Concern and doubt filled me instantly

 _Where are they?_ I thought desperately as Jin slowed.

_"I don't know. You don't think Claude could have already...?"_

_No_ , I shut the idea down instantly, _and even if did he still wants me_. Gritting my teeth I peered around the wide surroundings of mine and blew out a breath.

There just wasn't any _time_. The main problem was finding Ciel, I couldn't get sidetracked with Mey Rin and the rest and reuniting with them. Besides, I didn't have an explanation planned and I could barely whisper let alone talk.

_"Ciel might have something in his office. I'll go check and come back. If there's nothing you're gonna have to ask."_

_I can't just waltz in and ask that without explaining where I've been!_ My disagreement went well with the fact that I didn't even know if I was ready to see everyone again. It would be emotional and I couldn't deal with something like that just yet. Not until everything was over. There would be time for a reunion after Ciel was safe and sound.

 _"Well, that and you look half dead,"_ Jin added on as I sat on the cold ground, him flying speedily towards the mansion. He had his own ways of getting inside I supposed.

_Thanks._

_"Sorry."_

_Don't apologize. It's the truth_. I huffed, crossing my arms as I shivered. It was pretty cool today and my clothes were still shredded from my last punishment.

_"Want me to get clean clothes?"_

_No time, just focus on finding out where they went_. Settling next to a tree I glanced back into the forest line scattered around the Phantomhive lot, then the idea struck me. Getting to my feet I started back towards the horse stables. Jin was tired, so I would need another stallion to suffer the journey.

 _Please tell me there's something left over. Please_.

 _"I'm looking, hold on."_ My heartbeat was frantic as a breeze wove through my hair making it irritate the skin on my neck. I reached up to run my hand through the tangled locks. The tips were as white as I remembered.

 _"Found it!"_ I jumped at Jin's exclamation and listened intently as I spotted the fence to the stables. _"It's a letter from the Queen, she's complaining about another attacker, yada, yada, yada--they went into the city I bet. Somewhere around the outskirts-"_

 _That doesn't make any sense_ , I replied, climbing over the gate and hurrying passed a horse to fetch a saddle from the shed. _Why would he just drop everything and go help the Queen?_

_"Wouldn't be the first time he put his job before you."_

_But didn't the Queen die?_ I recalled seeing the putrid corpse of the girl as well as her servant, the angel.

_"She was replaced or something, I don't know the details."_

_Great_ , I huffed dragging the saddle out and making my way to the fence. Soon enough Jin came to help and it didn't take long to set the horse up. With one last pull of the straps, I was atop the animal, reigns in hand.

Jin took his place around my neck as a fox, while I kicked the horse into a gallop. Whipping the reigns I turned towards the dirt trail that would lead us to the city. The air was crisp as we started yet another journey and my body sagged, a bit fatigued from just everything in general. No one could say I didn't work hard for that navy haired earl.

My heart ached as I let out a breath, grip tightening on the leather reigns.

 _"We'll find him,"_ Jin assured as the wind ruffled my hair behind me, the Trancy uniform's skirt bunched around my hips. There was no time for modesty at the moment.

 _I hope so_ , I replied, urging the stallion to speed up.

The city was bustling even on the outskirts and I found it quite distracting having been stuck inside for the last few months. It wasn't like the feeling was new, seeing as I had spent the better part of my life as a prisoner to my own home where many guests would crowd around on some days.

 _"Do you sense him at all?"_ Jin's voice snapped me out of my head as I frowned at myself. The lack of sleep and nutrition was starting to get to me again.

Taking a moment to block the outside world out and focus on my inner being I found no ounce of Ciel in my presence, but there was just enough irritation there to alert me of demons and reapers somewhere further away. I would have to make this quick before they realized a witch was among them.

 _No_. Opening my eyes I let the horse slow to a trot as I searched the streets for nothing in particular. I didn't have any leads except for the supernatural and I wasn't about to face them without figuring out the earl's location first.

Sighing, I lifted my gaze and stopped short of a small crowd forming beside the street, murmuring around their small group. Coming up beside them I was just able to make out their conversation.

"To think such a psychopath was running amok. I'm glad they finally caught the man."

"But it wasn't a man, it was a child! Can you believe it?"

"That's not all, it was that earl, Alois Trancy, I heard."

"Him?"

 _Alois?_ I thought, heart skipping a beat in terror as I listened for any more intel.

"I thought it was that other lad, the one who owned the toy company?"

"No, I saw the whole thing! He went insane, saying he was Ciel Phantomhive instead. He's a lunatic, that one."

"Excuse me!" I jumped as Jin called down without thinking of the consequence. His small arms were wrapped around my middle as he sat behind me while the few adults speaking had turned at his voice. "Where did they take him?" He continued.

"Yes, where did they take him?" A woman asked, intrigued.

"The police managed to catch him and with him hollering nonsense they shipped him off to that asylum."

"It's not an asylum, that's all rumors."

"Where is it?" My familiar cut in, voice weak, but loud.

"I suppose if you keep headin' straight you'll find it eventually, but--" I didn't stick around to hear the last part as I forced the horse back into a strong gallop, weaving through carriages as people's shouts echoed by. I ignored them as I kept my gaze forward, resolve unwavering as Jin tightened back on my neck at all the jostling.

The clouds began to darken and I prayed I wasn't too late. Asylums in this time period were never a soothing thought in the first place, now that they were caught up in this mess I could only hope time was on my side for once.

**~~~**

_He's here_.

I knew it as soon as the bridge came into sight and I wish I had been wrong. The day had dimmed considerably as the building was as ominous as one could be. However, I felt that quiver in my chest, the warmth that he was somewhere in the distance. I wouldn't let him slip away like last time nor would I be dragged away. Though, I wished he was anywhere but here.

 _Jin stay here,_ I ordered as guards began to wander out in front of the closed bridge. They wouldn't be letting me through and I didn't expect them to.

_"But-"_

_I mean it. I need eyes on the outside_. _Go_. With that said I pulled him away from my neck before setting him behind me.

He was surprised and a bit hurt but quickly flew off as some bird while I urged the stallion on, forcing him to go faster. My eyes traveled upwards towards the massive building as yells sounded. It was going to be one hell of a time skip, but with the sense of Ciel, I could almost pinpoint where he was. I trusted my powers to lead me to him even if we both were out of practice.

"Stop!" The guards shouted and I huffed, closing my eyes. Laying my hands flat on the horse's neck I got to my knees and quickly lunged into the air. My last glimpse was the clouded sky as air flew by and the world collapsed into a whirl of motion.

It was over quick and I was face down in a dimly lit hallway, bones aching from the harsh descent. It felt like I had taken a blow to the gut, but I supposed that was from using so much power at once. Hurrying to my feet I held desperately to the pulsing sensation in my chest turning in a circle before clumsily taking off down the hall. The feeling was growing with every step and my heart pounded as I gasped for breath, breaking into a run.

 _There_. A single door stood at the end of the next hall on my right and I wasted no time, ripping through it to enter the next location without any thought. My feet slammed against a tiled flooring as I stumbled forward, falling to my hands and knees. I was panting, struggling for air, but all my focus was ahead of me as my eyes widened in horror.

The memories flashed and the pain resurfaced.

_I was back at the Trancy manor, tied to that chair with chains weighing me down like hell itself. The water stung and stained my insides and I was only given a second of rest before being plunged back down into the murky waters of insanity._

They had drowned every ounce of familiarity out of me, forcing the memories into the darkest corners of my mind where I didn't dare to look. The past hid beneath layers upon layers of pain, never to be dug up by any stray thought or mindless recollection. My very life had been sucked out of me and it had taken months for them to finally rip every rapture, every joy from my mind. They had stolen my friends away along with the memories that formed my own self. They had taken everything from me.

 _They won't do the same to you,_ I vowed, eyes burning with anger at the sight of his struggle. The water was tormenting him just as it had done me and the people to do such a deed were enjoying it, I could see it behind their wide eyes as they caught sight of me. Five devils surrounded the earl and I, three of which were women. None of it mattered. The sole thing in my mind was that Ciel was in pain.

I'd had enough of that.

They stared at me, bewildered as I stood straight, eyes seething with pure rage as I let one breath escape my lips. My last thought chilled me to my bones.

_I've killed two people.._ _._ _What makes a few more?_

In that instant, the bond between Jin and I was blocked and my conscience vanished into thin air. It was as if watching a horror film, only I was the killer-- **she** was the killer.

Blood painted the walls and the smell of burnt skin wafted, happening in seconds as well as the echo of cracking stone. Mutated water spilled over the tiles, mixing with the crimson and steaming skin. Screams had been heard, yet all I paid attention to was him, choking for air as he sagged in that chair, hair dripping and spirit sunken. I didn't care that I had aged those people to death, their heads bursting like balloons pierced by darts. In the end, it was for his sake and either way, blood would always fall on both sides of a war.

In the blink of an eye, I was kneeling before him, hair searing white and face expressionless as his cuffs exploded into dust, my powers leaking out dangerously. I was tittering on the edge again and the only thing keeping me sane was the fact that he was alive and in front of me. Ridding the ropes around his chest he coughed, wheezing as pain engulfed me at his struggle. My powers fell victim to my emotions and softened as I pushed his hair back from his face gently.

 _Oh, Ciel._.. His eyes were shut as he panted, fatigue evident in his face. I didn't doubt I was crying right about now. My thumbs smoothed over his wet skin and I craved to whisper his name, but my voice was nonexistent.

It felt like years before he opened his eyes, but the fear in them only caused me more grief. I should have been here sooner. How could I have let this happen? The blame was heavy as he shook beneath my palms, stare distant and unfocused. I reached to cup his face, to try and rid him of this nightmare and remind him he wasn't alone anymore.

I didn't get the chance to.

Pain slashed through my body as I winced, head spinning at the amount of lethargy that had pent up. I felt blood dribble from my nose.

Just as my energy waned a threatening grip tightened around my throat. My eyes flew back as I tried to catch a glimpse of my attacker, but from the constant stabbing in every pore of my skin, I already knew it was one of the many demons I'd come to meet.

 _Not yet!_ I screamed at myself, grabbing the hand at my throat willing myself to age the monster into dust. My calves scraped against the floor as I was dragged back and I only had a second to catch sight of the navyet in front of me before dots started to cloud my vision. I tried to muster more energy for another time skip, but my powers were abating.

"My, what a mess you've made, witch."

There was always that desire to be anywhere but where you were at one exact moment. In my case, it wasn't myself, but the longing that Ciel was miles away from the form that stood behind me.

I gritted my teeth, digging my nails into the brunet's hand, glove long gone as skin burned beneath my hands. It kept healing. I choked on a gasp, blood dripping over my lips as I fought for air.

"It's only a matter of time," Claude continued as I glared forward. There was no fear this time. I was done being afraid of this bastard. "I knew it wouldn't take long for you to seek him out. Even if I lost my hold on one it would always come back for its other half. It is as simple as that."

_You will never have a grip on me again_ _._ _You can't control me anymore._

"You both will come to be mine-"

My eyes ripped wide open as I thrashed, a small amount of power surging through me as Claude's hand winced against my neck.

 _"You will die if you hurt him one. more. time."_ I seethed trembling with rage as my words were forced out, rugged and rasp. "He'll k- _ill you_." The stung in my throat was ignored as I pulled at my restraint weakly. I could barely see anymore.

"I presume you mean Sebastian Michaelis?"

_Ciel was never yours in the first place and his demon will make sure you pay for what you've done._

"I never thought you'd root for a demon, let alone that certain individual." The butler hummed.

 _You'd be surprised. If there is one thing I trust about Sebastian, it's his desire for Ciel._ Even my mental voice was fading as more metallic flavor filled my mouth.

"It will not make much of a difference for whoever gets him. Though, I'm quite interested in why you would put your hope in another demon."

Maybe it was because I had faith that he would change, but then again it could have been the fact Sebastian never harmed a hair on my head. Even when we were against one another back before hell broke loose, he never hurt me. Sure, his words caused wounds, but never physically.

"Your energy is waning," Claude stated the thing I knew so well as my powers began to crumble, his skin no longer burning beneath my palms. A shallow huff sounded from me as my legs kicked out one last time. The fingers around my neck squeezed, causing the blades within to slip up against the walls of my throat even more so. My body stilled at the agony as blood dribbled from the corners of my lips and nose. I wasn't strong enough--I couldn't beat him.

 _This isn't fair_ , I thought mindlessly as my body began to go limp. _Why does it have to be us? Why does it have to be anyone? Couldn't Ciel at least have gotten away from this?_

The answer was always blank, leaving no space for discussion or opinion. Everyone thought they deserved better, even if they hated themselves they expected one thing and had to face the reality of hurt when it didn't happen. Life was cruel like that, dangling a happy outcome as bait only for it to be ripped away as you fell into the hands of anguish. It made you think you were the cause, because you weren't strong enough, or you weren't good enough.

 _"You don't deserve this,"_ fate stated. " _You never did."_

 _Then you don't deserve me_ , I replied lifelessly. _What makes you think you can control me either?_

Pain burned through my lungs at the return backfire as my sense of thought weakened to that of pithy emotions.

Guilt flooded my entire being as the darkness forced me under as merciless as death itself.

**< ><><>**

If you're confused at any part passed the reader making it into the said 'asylum' and her thoughts just remember hate can turn the mind deranged as well as a lack of oxygen. Also, I promise there will come a day where you don't faint after every encounter.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

Any questions for me?

_Yeah, why am I so angry when I wake up_ _from a nap_ _? Like damn._

 


	16. Halloween Special

Thanks for all those who sent in art and told me about their Halloween traditions! Don't worry, I'm still accepting anything you guys have to offer and will add them on my Instagram later!

 

Hope ya like it!

 

"It appears the annual, Phantomhive Halloween celebration is right around the corner, my Lord," Sebastian announced, offering the small earl his daily mail on a silver platter. The various letters were sealed with waxed stamps, holding within the guests' attendance to the aforementioned party.

 

"What of it?" The question held a bite to it as Ciel rifled through the pieces of parchment, evidently unimpressed by the majority of the replies. It seemed the Phantomhive manor would be bustling with people in a few days time. For him, it wasn't anything to look forward to.

 

The butler, at his master's response, hummed an amused tune as he tucked the tray he carried under his left arm. "The servants seem to grow more exuberant everyday as the holiday looms closer. After all, this will be the first celebration that [Name] and Jin will have seen since you hired them, my Lord."

 

"It will just be another busy day, nothing more."

 

Ciel refused to think much of the celebration as it only inconvenienced him and his plans. The annual gathering only wasted his time—there was far more important tasks at hand that he should have been attending to. If it weren't for the fact that hosting was a part of the family tradition, he wouldn't have even bothered having it in the first place.

 

"If that's all you came to say, then, return to your duties."

 

"Of course, my Lord." His servant bowed deeply out of respect. "I will leave you to your work."

 

With that, Sebastian turned on his finely polished shoe heel and left the room. As the door to the study closed with an resounding thunk, the earl allowed his shoulders to relax from their perfect posture along with the scowl on his lips (though, it only returned to a light grimace).

 

His eye switched focus from the pile of invitation acceptances to work documents that needed his approval. The day had only begun and the mail received was already beginning to commandeer his desk. The reminder that the post would continue on until late into the day did nothing to alleviate his growing displeasure, either.

 

Billowing out a sigh, the young earl swiveled around in his seat to stand. Stretching his legs might do some good.

 

As he approached the massive window that overlooked the gardens, his hearing picked up on a faint undertone of laughter. Upon searching the grounds in his sight, he spotted a few household workers busy with sweeping the rows between the hedges. Among them was the estate's newest recruit, [Name]. It had been some time since your unexpected arrival, enough for you to have familiarize yourself with the layout of the manor and its inhabitants. Enough for you to call this cursed place home.

 

You had a talent for befriending even the oddest of individuals, but your highest achievement centered around the Phantomhive heir (one of the only few around to be predominantly normal). The boy still had yet to figure out how you managed to ensnare his affections, but, surprisingly, he found he didn't mind not knowing the answer. For once, he permitted a mystery to go unsolved.

 

Oh, if the criminals of the Underground saw the infamous Guard Dog now.

 

 

Afternoon fell softly over the home, peace somehow winning out against the random accidents that plagued three specific servants. You certainly weren't complaining. Quietude was nice every once in a while as long as you had some company.

 

Your chores were being completed, gradually as you still had a good bit of day left to get through. Now that lunch had come and gone you set off to accomplish the next task at hand: bringing the earl his afternoon snack.

 

With such an enormous sweet tooth it was astonishing how he hadn't suffered from a cavity yet. You supposed his butler kept his hygiene in check, so perhaps worrying was as far fetched as assuming the world would end the next day.

 

Either way, the slice of cake you were bringing him was a sweet trap. If cavities wouldn't get him, then the sugar rush would.

 

 

The knock was loud and clear and undoubtedly yours; Ciel would know it anywhere. Somehow, it had its own voice, softer and more emotive than the hard, austere rap of that demon's. The sound was like clockwork, always after lunch and at his study. If there was a time where you weren't home, he'd find himself wondering why you hadn't dropped by or questioning the visit of his butler. The dessert never tasted quite right on those days.

 

"Come in." He didn't have to say it. You knew by now you could knock and enter straight after, but you still refused to do so. "Isn't polite," you would say.

 

Honestly, that maid could be as stubborn as him in some circumstances.

 

"Cake today," you told him, sauntering over like you'd never stepped foot in the room. He found you had a tendency of doing that—studying things like it was your first time all over again. You liked to look back when you left the estate, too. Always staring after the manor like it'd disappear if you turned away.

 

"Set it down there," he pointed at the only empty corner on his desk, "I'll get to it in a minute."

 

You're snickering had him raising an eyebrow in confusion. "You make it sound like a two o'clock meeting." The tone of your voice dropped a tad to apparently imitate him. "Ah, tell it to wait there while I finish up with this other client."

 

"Your accent is bloody awful," he muttered under his breath, cushioning his cheek in the palm of his hand as he glared down at his paperwork.

 

"It's a work in progress."

 

"It's a work doomed of failure."

 

"Ouch," you laughed, the ceramic of the plate clinking against the wooden surface as you laid it where instructed. "I guess you're busy right now."

 

"You're insinuating I'm not always busy."

"Well, you're not working when you eat or sleep."

 

"On the contrary, I wouldn't do either if it wasn't a matter of necessity," he huffed. "Work only continues to fester if left unsupervised."

 

"You're only going to stress yourself out if you think like that," you called from another part of the room. When he glanced up he found you scanning the bookcases with an avid interest. "Take a breath and look forward to the party that's in a few days! Do you know what you're going as?"

 

He scoffed, raising his chin from his hand to leer at you. "Going as?"

 

"Like, your costume," you said, frowning in confusion as you looked over at his displeased scowl. "Aren't you dressing up?"

 

"Why on earth would I do that?"

 

"It's Halloween!" you guffawed, walking back over to finish the conversation.

 

"It's a nuisance is what it is."

 

"Geez, I never thought I'd meet a Halloween Scrooge," you murmured out of his earshot.

 

"What?" he growled.

 

You shook your head. "Nothing, master.

 

"I really think you should dress up—at least try to have fun."

 

"And what are you going as if I may ask?" he pestered, transferring a completed paper to a small stack to his right. When he risked a glance, he found your face had lit up as you pulled a small, yet thick book from your apron pocket.

 

With a chipper hum, you set the novel in front of him on top of his work, patting the golden, illustrated cover excitedly.

 

"I'm thinking of going as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Jin can be my White Rabbit." You're smile was too bright. He had no choice but to look away.

 

"Ridiculous," he grumbled, setting the book aside, to the left when all the other unfinished work lied.

 

"That is one of the ongoing themes in the story: ridiculousness, madness..." you listed off.

 

"It's a child's bedtime story."

 

"So?"

 

"It's fictional nonsense and nothing I'd pull from, not even for this needless celebration."

"You know, you'd make a fine Caterpillar," you groused, crossing your arms. "You're as cranky and rude as he is."

 

"And you'd make a perfect Alice—falling down a rabbit hole into the wrong time," he snapped, looking up from the parchment. He blinked when he met your gaze, surprised to find it so strained with anguish.

 

Guilt clawed at his stone heart, chipping away at the fortitude he'd built of over the years since the demise of his parents. It was an odd feeling, new almost.

 

"I should get going. Enjoy your snack, master," you murmured with a short bow, vanishing from the room without a sound. If you'd walked out like any normal person he might have won over his stubborn pride and called after you.

 

He knew deep down the apology wouldn't have made it passed his lips.

 

Sighing for the nth time that day, he leaned back in his chair, elbow resting on the arm of it as his fore and thumb finger rose to apply pressure to the bridge of his nose. His eye screwed shut in irritation. He had been annoyed with work all day, but now he was annoyed with himself.

 

"Ridiculous" he'd called you when it was him that was being the exact definition of the word.

As he opened his eye, he caught sight of the book you'd brought along. You must've forgotten it.

 

He dropped his hand from his face in lieu of lifting the novel from the desk, bringing it closer to examine. The binding was leather with designs framing the front and a drawing of Alice herself in the middle, encircled by a line of gold. She held some pig-like creature, he wasn't quite sure what it was.

 

Flipping open the cover, he read over the first page and began his descent into the first chapter. The writing was rather interesting and certainly nothing to scoff at and part of him—a much younger part of him—recalled the story and the soft voice of his mother as she read to him in his childhood.

 

That cerulean blue of his softened to a muddled navy as he read, and nostalgia seized his heart.

 

And a heavy sense of remorse, too.

 

 

When Ciel finally found it in himself to shut the book, he realized it was late into the afternoon. As he gazed out at the aureate evening, he found himself confused. It was as if he was staring at a painting, not the view he'd known all of his life.

 

Turning back to his disregarded work he flinched at a figure standing in front of his desk.

 

"[Name]," he said, blinking, "I didn't hear you come in."

 

"The door was open," you mumbled, face downtrodden as you looked over your shoulder. He leaned to the right to see around you, finding the door was, in fact, wide open.

 

"I see..."

 

"I came to get the dish." You reached for the plate that hadn't been touched. Ciel watched silently, doing a double take at the icing on the slice of cake.

 

"Eat me?" he wondered. Is that some idea of a joke?

 

"If you'll excuse me," you said, starting towards the exit.

 

"Hold on a moment," he ordered, but you didn't seem to hear him as you continued forward. "[Name]," he called, once again going unheard. He felt his face tighten in anger. Were you ignoring him?

 

Pushing up from his chair, he opened his mouth to call you out again, but all that came out was a gasp as a flash of white sprung from the top of your head. He felt himself pale, choking on his spit as he watched two, snow white rabbit ears twitch atop your cranium.

He rubbed at his eyes—was he going mad?

 

When he opened them he found you in the same state, but this time another white popped into existence and he couldn't stop his gaze from lowering to your backside at the sight of a ball of white fur.

 

A scut. You had a scut above your rear end.

 

Shaking his head, he flushed as he recognized his obscene behavior and darted around his desk, yelling your name as you disappeared around the doorway. As he entered the hall, he sputtered.

 

How did she get to the end of the hall that fast?! Had you skipped ahead with your talents? He didn't have time to figure it out as he gave chase, quickening his footfalls to catch up with your deaf being.

 

Taking the corner at an alarming speed he didn't have time to skid to a halt as a gigantuan hole opened up ahead of him. With no way to catch himself in time, he plunged down into obscurity with a timorous yell.

 

His voice echoed around him as tumbled through the air, clawing for anything to stop his fall. He barely took notice of his surroundings as they shifted from black to white to pink and all other bright shades of hues. He did, however, pause his screaming to gawk at the items floating upwards as he continued down.

 

A pocket watch, pens, papers, books, and more outrageous items such as a rose necklace, glasses, a flamethrower and clothing. Some of them matched his very own.

 

Wait a minute... He looked down at himself and exclaimed at what seemed to be a riding dress adorning him. The bright shade of blue was partially hidden by a white apron, but the striped tights hugging his legs stuck out like a sore thumb.

 

Having been distracted by his attire, Ciel didn't see the ground approaching until he was coming right up on it. His scream was entirely uncivilized, but the terror that ripped through him blinded that fact as he smashed into the white floor.

 

At least, he assumed he would until it gave under his weight and sent him bouncing back up into the air. The elastic-like ground gradually hardened with each jump, and Ciel finally had a chance to take a breath without fearing it was his last.

 

As he sat still on the blank ground, he gazed about at the odd room he was in. "Room" didn't exactly fit the description as there were no walls, but there were doors floating about. Some were big, others small, and some were so oddly shaped he couldn't imagine someone trying to fit through them.

 

"Hello?" he called, completely and utterly lost in such a strange situation.

 

"Ciel!" He cringed at the voice but turned to greet his enthusiastic cousin as she sped towards him with all the speed of a horse. It was a miracle he wasn't knocked over by her as she wrapped him tightly in her arms.

 

"Elizabeth?" he breathed, trying to push her far enough way to look at her. He felt himself freeze up at the rounded ear that was protruding from her skull. "What are you doing here?"

 

"What do you mean silly?" she giggled and he spotted Paula behind her, dressed so scantily he had no choice but to stare at the ground. Lizzy's clothes weren't that much different from her usual wear. They were as frilly and pink as always. But the mouse ears were new.

 

First rabbit ears and now—

 

"Have you seen [Name]?" he asked, interrupting his train of thought.

 

"Who?" Lizzy chirped, cocking her head in puzzlement.

 

"[Name]! Did she come through here?" he demanded.

 

"The only one who came through here besides you was the White Rabbit," Paula said before her eyes widened at something behind him. "Oh! There she goes now!"

 

Whipping around, he sighed at the sight of your animal-ied self before he saw you going towards a door.

 

"Wait!" He tried to pull away from Lizzy, but her grip was as ensnaring as handcuffs. You must have heard him because suddenly you were staring at him.

 

Somehow, even with such a large distance between you and him, he saw your eyes take in the sight of him in Lizzy's embrace. He also saw the tears well in your eyes before they trailed down your face. The clear drops of saltwater plinked against the floor delicately.

 

"Uh!" A strangled gasp left his lips at your pained expression before you opened the door behind you and fled through. Your name left him for what felt like the hundredth time as the door slammed shut.

 

In the blink of an eye, water was beginning to grow from where your tears had hit the ground. It wasn't long before a sea accumulated, rising past his waist.

 

He floundered, knowing he'd yet to learn how to swim. Lizzy had disappeared along with Paula and the door-filled sky now held clouds high above him.

 

Just as the water began to rise passed his chin he felt something grab ahold of his collar. He choked as it pulled him from the water, dropping him into a rickety boat.

 

Sebastian looked over him, dressed to the nines in a black suit with a red cravat and vest to draw the eye. "Now, now, Alice. You mustn't drown before you see the Queen." He simpered.

 

"Alice?" he muttered, adrenaline slowly ebbing away from the insanity around him. The boat they were in began to move steadily over the sea of your tears. Sebastian was rowing.

 

"You don't know your own name, my Lord?" He asked, teasing.

 

"I know my name," Ciel growled. "What's yours then?"

 

"My name shall be whatever you decide until the end of our contract, of course," he replied, sighing in what appears to be boredom. "I'd rather not be included in this 'fictional nonsense' as you so clearly put. No such character fits that of a demon but a demon itself."

 

"And a witch?" the earl questioned, somewhat uncomfortable to hear the answer.

 

"Why, in order to capture that is most dear, one must chase it, work for it, sacrifice for it."

 

"You're speaking in riddles!" he spat.

 

"Am I?" Sebastian chucked. "I think it is you who chooses to hear it as such. Why solve a riddle if you're not prepared to accept the answer?"

 

Ciel grit his teeth in anger before his entire body jolted at a hard impact. When he opened his eye, his butler was gone and the boat had run aground.

 

The beach that greeted him only had two inhabitants and he groaned at the very sight of them. The smell of curry was strong as he stepped out of the boat, leaving behind your sadness to face the idiots that refused to leave his townhouse.

 

"Ah, Alice! You've come just in time! My cook is preparing our evening meal as we speak," Soma cheered, the outrageous hat on his head doing nothing to counter his already ridiculous attitude.

 

"Have either of you seen [Name]?" At their puzzled frowns he rolled his eyes, hissing out, "The White Rabbit."

 

"Ah! Miss bunny, you say? She passed through not too long ago!" Agni nodded to the right of him, stirring a massive pot atop a table with an equally massive wooden spoon.

 

"Which way?" he asked, nearly sounding desperate. He cleared his throat, trying to reign in his emotions.

 

"Hmm? That way?" The prince waves off behind him, unsure. "Why do you seek her, little Alice?"

 

"I have something to say to her."

 

"An apology?"

 

He blushed furiously. "It's none of your concern!"

 

Agni hummed. "Now Alice, you must treat important things nicely or they'll break."

 

"Break?" he uttered, eyebrow furrowing.

 

"Or you'll lose them!" Soma declared. "Though, perhaps you've lost her already..."

 

Enraged by the comment, the young boy took off in the direction presented to him earlier.

 

 

It felt like hours had passed since he began his trek. Eventually, the beach had faded to forestry. Trees now stood far above him, mocking his small size as he walked at a snail's pace, breathing impeded by his lack of energy. He feared an asthma attack would flare up if he continued on like this.

 

The shrill shriek of a heated teapot had him peering through the dense forest in confusion. Not far away a long table split through the mass of trees, littered with plates filled to the brim with snacks and tea cups. There were enough seats for a large band of people, but only three sat at the end of the table.

 

"Jin!" Ciel gasped, relieved to see his white head of hair. He lied asleep, head in his arms on the surface of the table.

 

"No use screamin', kid. He's out like a light," the figure at the head of the table stated. Diana sat sideways in the armchair, the top hat on her head matching the suit she wore. He could have mistaken her for a man if he hadn't been careful.

 

"Are you lost, sweetie?" The woman next to her asked. Her long rabbit ears made his heart skip a beat before he realized it was only Sear. Her fur was silver so he should've known better.

 

"I'm looking for the White Rabbit," he sighed, taking a seat at the table. A teapot rattled next to him and Sear went about making him a cup.

 

"She visited a bit ago. Doesn't like to leave her little Dormouse on his own for too long," Diana grumbled, her eyes shut as she leaned her head back onto nothing. He wondered how her hat hadn't fallen off yet.

 

"Dormouse?" He looked back at Jin and realized he, too, had mouse ears like Lizzy had.

 

"Why you lookin' for her?" Diana asked, gaining his attention. He didn't feel like answering her. "You're too busy to be chasing after her anyway. Invited to that fancy ball, weren't cha? Must be so important to ignore my niece like that."

 

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" he bit out, affronted by her tone.

 

"Honey," Sear hushed, "he didn't want to go in the first place."

 

"But he always listens to that damn Queen doesn't he? It wouldn't matter if the White Rabbit was on her deathbed or not, he'd still follow his orders like the lapdog he is."

 

The clatter of dishes was loud in the midst of the forest. Ciel stared down at his hands, wondering when he'd even thought to slam them down onto the table. All he knew was the rage that was climbing in his chest. It wouldn't be long before it spilled out of his lungs like that putrid smoke of Lau's.

 

"You don't know a damn thing about me," he swore at your aunt. She opened one eye to study him before shrugging nonchalantly and going back to her napping stance.

 

A yawn captured his attention, causing the earl to stare down at Jin who raised his head from the seat across from him. His gold eyes blinked wearily at Ciel.

 

"She always says 'it's okay,' you know," he murmured, laying his head in his small hand. "She says 'he shouldn't worry about me, I'm just a maid.' She says 'he should put himself first.' But, she never puts herself before anyone else..."

 

Ciel felt like a anvil was sitting on his chest despite the fact he was standing up straight. His eye shut, lips curling into a disheartened frown.

 

"You should hurry," Jin spoke softly, yawning once more as his head began to lower. "I think the King's out for her head. She kept saying she was running out of time..." With such ominous words spoken, somehow, the child was able to fall back into a peaceful sleep.

 

"The King?" he repeated, befuddled. "Who's the King?"

 

"Even worse than the Queen, that one," Diana groused. "Because, whether you know it or not, Alice, he's the one you really report to at the end of the day. The Queen kills, but the King?"

 

Her eyes opened as she turned her head to stare into the very soul of Ciel's.

 

"He devours."

 

Pushing away from the table, Ciel stumbled back through the forest. He passed by a mewling cat that reminded him of that disgusting redhead reaper and through a cloud of smoke that he could've sworn Lau had exhaled. He heard so many voices around him he truly felt like he was going mad.

 

A grunt was pulled from his throat as his foot snagged on something tough. He didn't hit the dirt floor of the forest, he just kept falling down down down.

 

He couldn't find it himself to yell anymore as he closed his eye. So when the world stopped moving and the whispers of an audience trailed around him, he was surprised to find himself in the middle of a party.

 

Guests in elaborate gowns and suits danced around him, making him dizzy and nauseous. He felt like lying down but the thought of your tear-stained face pushed him onward.

He had to apologize.

 

Pushing through the twirling crowd of partners, he gasped as someone pulled him aside. He had to hurry to keep up with the unknown stranger as they spun him back onto the dance floor. Only when they slowed to a gentle swaying did he see who it was.

 

"Your Majesty?" he exhaled, shocked by her youthfulness as she lead him into some sort of waltz.

 

"My dear Alice," she purred, cupping his face with a sickly sweet smile, "you've grown distracted."

 

"What?"

 

She giggled as she twirled under his arm, the crimson of her dress skirt seemingly dripping onto the floor. He felt his stomach clench as he recognized the trail of blood that was left from her movements. Her clothes were soaked in the rust-scented liquid, yet her hands were as clean as could be.

 

His, however, were so dark a shade of red he feared the skin would forever remain a sinful black.

 

"I know how easily it lures us in," the Queen continued, her beautiful skin slowly fading as he pinpointed the stitches climbing up her dainty neck. "How beautiful it can be in the beginning, that is what makes it so dangerous, my darling Alice."

 

"What are you—?" He swallowed as she held his chin in place with her slender hand, gazing up at him adoringly. He hated the very sight of her mismatched eyes.

 

"You've fallen victim to love," she susserated and his eye widened in awe. "And the King does enjoy his meal thoroughly seasoned, I assure you, but you don't seem to be separating as quickly as he'd hoped."

 

"Separating?" He parroted, unable to grasp her explanation. His eye focused on something far away, something bright and pure and too precious for this world.

 

"Why, from the White Rabbit, of course."

He was jerked back from his daydream as he stared down at the Queen in horror.

 

"He's setting up her trial as we speak." The hand on his chin twisted his head to his right where two figures dance languidly.

 

You followed in the steps of the King, being dragged to and fro before his dark-nailed hand pressed against the small of your back, guiding you towards the exit of the ballroom. He couldn't recognize his face—It's was a blurred mess of existence.

 

"[Name]!" Ciel broke away from the Queen to pursue you. His heart threatened to beat right out of his chest as he bumped and shoved his way through the crowd. Everything was always in the way of you two—you were always at a distance he couldn't reach.

 

But had he ever truly tried to extend a hand?

 

He blinked and all about him was black save for the light that shone down on him like the last beacon of hope. More whispers crowded around him and he clamped his hands over his ears to block them out. He felt like a big under a microscope.

 

"Running out of time..."

"You must sacrifice for it..."

"Follows orders like the lapdog he is..."

"It lures us in..."

 

"Alice?"

 

So used to being called by that name, Ciel looked up and sucked in a quick breath as you stood a few feet ahead of him.

 

"[Name]?" he called, voice weak.

 

"I see you've come to testify," a deep, disembodied voice echoed from above. Ciel searched for who it was that was speaking, but the darkness hid all.

 

"She hasn't done anything wrong!" he screamed at the heavens, turning in wild, half circles. "She's innocent in this!"

 

"She is an accessory to the crime, Alice. She must stand trial."

 

"My feelings have nothing to do with hers!" he snarled. "You can't blame her for something I couldn't control!"

 

"Who ever said you were the only victim of love?"

 

The inquiry sent his heart racing. It drummed so loud he could hear it in his ears and it worsened as he turned to face you. Tears streamed down your face as you stared at the ground in shame, rabbit ears hanging depressingly.

 

"Go on, White Rabbit," the voice chuckled, "tell Alice your testimony."

 

You sniffed, wiping at you cheeks as you raised your head to meet his lone gaze. The expression you worse tugged at his heartstrings, playing the saddest tune known to man.

 

Such a beautiful, somber tune.

 

"I knew before you did," you gasped, forcing yourself to hold back your chest-deep sobs. "I thought it didn't matter—!" A small squeak escaped and your lip and you covered our face with both hands.

 

Ciel raised a hand towards you without a second thought and he had to stop himself from moving any closer.

 

"What didn't matter?" he asked, fearing the answer.

 

Your eyes met his once more, irritated an angry pink from crying. "That...I loved you," she murmured and the declaration made his broken heart soar. "I never thought you'd return my feelings—I-I thought you'd be safe!"

 

"And now you know," the voice spoke and dark hands grabbed at your form, two wrapping around your throat and multiple others latching on to your arms.

 

"Let her go!" Ciel roared, running forward. You were wrenched into the darkness before he could reach you and no matter where he turned he couldn't find you. "[Name]!"

 

"It seems the White Rabbit isn't late this time," it hummed. "The one that's too late, is you Alice."

 

Dropping to his knees in defeat, Ciel curled in on himself letting his voice erupt from him in a heartbroken scream.

 

 

Jerking himself awake, Ciel sat upright with labored breaths spilling from his lungs. His eye searched for any sight of danger around him but all that greeted him was his empty study.

Blinking in confusion, he gazed down at his desk to find a book opened. He'd been sleeping on it. The picture illustrated depicted Alice in the Red Queen's courtroom. She seemed worried.

 

She seemed terrified.

 

Shaking his head at his dramatics, Ciel stood from his chair. He shut the book and glanced outside to find the sun was setting.

 

A knock on the door made him jump.

 

Rolling his eyes at himself he called, "Come in."

Facing the entrance he watched as you poked your head in, and for some reason he sighed in relief.

 

"Sebastian sent me to fetch you for dinner," you said before raising an eyebrow. Pushing the door the rest of the way open, you asked, "Everything Alright?"

 

"Yes," he muttered, glancing away. "I think I had a strange dream is all."

 

"You fell asleep?" you hummed and he shrugged. "Well, what was the dream about?"

Silence permeated and he waited a moment, searching his mind before he looked at you again. "I can't say I really remember it."

 

"You and me both," you huffed, turning to leave.

 

"Wait," he called and you stopped, expectant. "I...wanted to apologize for what I said earlier."

You smiled fondly at him. "It's okay. I wouldn't be in the best of moods if I had all that work either."

 

"Still, it didn't give me the right—"

 

"Ciel," you whispered and he caught himself, heart skipping a beat at the soft tone of your voice articulating his name, "I forgive you."

Nodding slowly, he picked at the sleeve of his shirt and frowned when you giggled.

 

"C'mon. I'm starved," you beckoned, heading down the hall. He followed after you, one hand on the handle of the door.

 

Glancing back at his desk where your book laid, he squinted, trying his best to recall his dream.

Oh well, he thought, shutting the door behind him. If he didn't recall it, it must not have been all that important.

 

 

The Halloween party was going splendidly and Ciel found himself having an adequate time. Lizzy had roped him into one too many dances, but for the most part he was able to enjoy himself with tasty treats and champagne.

 

"Boo!"

 

He turned his gaze onto you, not in the least bit frightened by your appearance.

 

"You're no fun," you sighed, standing next to him with a slight pout on your lips.

 

"Perhaps if you were dressed as a monster I'd be a bit more weary," he joked monotonously, sipping his drink.

 

"What about you?" you questioned. "You just threw on a cape and called yourself a vampire! You don't even have fake teeth!"

 

"I only have fangs when I'm thirsty," he muttered and the sight of your smile as you laughed made him focus on his drink a bit more than he should have.

 

"Okay, then. I better get back to serving," you said, starting off into the crowd. "Try not to kill anybody while I'm gone!"

 

He shook his head at you, watching you saunter off before he lost you in the many bodies filling the room.

 

But he was smiling.


	17. Chapter 17

Despite my fatigue and abuse, I was not asleep for long. Waking up to a dimly lit room I never felt more hatred for someone until I saw Claude so close to Ciel. The conversation was blurred and I could only make out bits and pieces, but it was so terribly easy to guess what he was doing to the boy.

With every bloody memory Ciel spoke of, Claude would force it under Alois's terrible past. It was tormented irony that two children's lives could have been corrupted in such a same manner.

I screamed, trying to put an end to the hellish hypnosis, but my lips were sealed and my mind hazy from the fatigue. I couldn't form the words, something was blocking me. A cloth was wound so tight I couldn't even part my lips to breathe.

 _Wh_ _y_ _him?_ I whimpered in my head as I rocked my head from side to side sluggishly. The drugs in my system could be felt, filling my veins with poisonous sludge that ruined my senses. _Stop_. I thought, forced to endure Ciel's mindless torture. Their forms were so far away, yet they were just out of reach. My hearing rung as a name entered the air, formed by a devil's tongue.

"Yes. Sebastian Michaelis made a contract with Luka and killed your only relative."

 _No_...

He was pinning the earl against his very demon. I could feel the cry of Ciel's soul as it was twisted with another force, contaminating his being. The piece of me that had mercilessly latched onto him was being swallowed whole by another and suddenly I could sense them both.

The tear in my heart was pulsating from the pressure of two as Alois and Ciel fought for control. He was so weak, the latter, and he couldn't make sense of his past when it was so damn similar to the blond's. Agony swelled within my chest as I cried out silently, crushed between the two--pinned by their pain. I wanted to withdraw from the Earl Trancy, but it was intermingled with _his_ and I couldn't part from him.

_Stop this... This is beyond cruel._

I could feel Alois's displeasure for the situation as well. He was screaming and writhing in misery. I couldn't depict why, but knowing him it had to do with Claude somehow. How could his demon tangle two souls? When had he gotten his highness's? This entire scene was just awful, pure evil.

Opening my eyes that I hadn't realized I'd closed I could just make out Ciel's form on the ground as Claude stood over me, his focus on the earl before him. There was the sound of a door slamming open and a black figure rushed to the navyet's side.

_Sebastian..._

The voices weren't coming through, only the actions. My lethargy was claiming me once more with the help of sedatives. But I could still feel the hate spilling from the earl as he pushed away from the ravenet. It wasn't long before he was facing the fellow demon in front of me, mouth moving in dazed silence on my part. My eyelids drooped as I leaned against a wall to my left--I was in a corner. Looking up I was met with Sebastian's hard gaze as he stared me down.

Discomfort filled me as arms slipped under my body, hoisting me into the air as I shivered in Claude's arms, loathing every second of his touch. My head fell back as I choked, not getting enough air. The world was upside down and I could feel the demon lean down as I faced a dim wall. Blood rushed to my head as I went limp in a devil's hold. The last thing I managed to make out was a hushed voice of someone so far away.

"I'm tired."

_So am I._

~~~

He was floating in darkness and it was oh so very familiar. What was supposed sleep felt heavy on his chest as the sensation of being lost washed over him like acid rain. The boy couldn't decipher any direction so he stayed put, waiting. What was he so calmly awaiting, though? He wasn't sure, but he knew it would come. He just had to be patient.

A deep voice pulled him from his personal hell as his expression twisted into one of discomfort. His sight spun until it landed on a butler clad dressed in black, but his focus was the scent that wafted.

"Is that Earl Grey I smell?" He asked, tone empty.

"Yes." The demon answered without a beat, stepping closer while a cloth hung on his forearm neatly. "This morning, I have prepared Mariage Freres' Earl Grey Imperial for you."

The glasses-wearing butler leaned over him and the earl felt a pinch of unease as he decided to sit up.

He didn't like being beneath someone--it felt wrong at this point.

As soon as he sat up his body was turned to the side of the bed, legs dangling over the rim as he rubbed his head mindlessly, eyes still squinting from the bright sunlight filtering into the room. The demon was saying something, but it was of no interest to him until he felt something slide from his skin. His nightgown was slipping, but it was in order to get dressed like normal. Yet, why did he feel so strange--so uneasy?

Staring at himself in the mirror he was now half dressed with an eye patch adorning him. It all flew passed, but he took note of his free schedule and a mindless thought occurred to him.

"Where is Alois?"

"What are you saying?" Claude questioned, swinging dramatically as he motioned towards the ceiling with a gloved hand. "Alois Trancy died, impaled by your sword."

"My sword?" he repeated, unsure.

"Do you feel grief?"

"He died because he deserved it, he was weak. That's all." He answered unconsciously as his eye lidded in a daze. He recalled murdering that blond for a reason, yet where was she?

"Where is (y/n)?" He murmured to himself, eye skimming towards the door. Any memory of her whereabouts was unknown and unclear.

"Hard at work as always, your Highness." At the reply the boy set off for his bed, a stool now occupying the space next to it as he waited for his shoes to be put on.

Of course that girl would be working. She was always so distracted by chores.

He stared at the ground as the demon got to work, slipping socks onto his pale feet. Claude whispered unintelligibly and a resounding crack was heard in the distance as Ciel turned wide-eyed.

"What was that?"

"A cat perhaps?"

"It was too loud to be a cat." The earl scowled at the ludicrous answer. "Strengthen the guard." He ordered sternly feeling more unease wash over him.

"Yes, my lord." One lone blue eye hardened with rage as disgusting lips skimmed his calf. His body struck out before his words could, sending the butler on his back with a harsh kick.

"Don't do such revolting things!" he hissed. The man muttered to himself, fixing his glasses. Three thunderous sounds echoed as Ciel glared back out his window. He grumbled under his breath, irritated by the loud disruption.

"I will go and check." Claude straightened. "Hannah attend the young master." He called with a clap.

"Yes." She answered, opening the door with a bow. The boy stared at her, somewhat displeased at her presence.

"Fetch (y/n)." He ordered. "I prefer her to attend to me today."

"She is busy with her chores, my lord," Claude spoke.

"Then hold them off a day." The boy growled, annoyed. A slim, golden gaze stared down a single cerulean as the demon nodded with a deep bow.

"Yes, my lord as soon as your morning routine has finished."

**~~~**

Some say those who escape prison only return to it when they truly are guilty of something. I guess my failure of saving Ciel would be the crime, or perhaps letting his soul be put against Alois's.

It was oddly cramped, my sense of the earl, and I abhorred it. There was never supposed to be two senses. It was dreadfully uncomfortable.

Not only did it feel suffocating, but it seemed my powers took both males in different lights seeing as Ciel's signal was one of warmth and Alois's one of ice. Both sensations caused a whirl of pressure in my chest. I wouldn't be surprised if someone found a tornado instead of my heart at the moment because that was what it sure felt like.

The night had taken forever to vanish and the time was spent mulling over the situation at hand. Claude paid me a visit in my own personal hell of a confinement, chained like the first day at the Trancy manor.

**"There is nothing you can do as of now. Their pasts are intermingled and their souls trapped next to one another. If you know what is best you will accept the young master as he is and wait for the feast to come."**

His statement proved how helpless I was, slaving over nonexistent possibilities. I needed a solution--something that involved pulling Alois from the earl and getting us all out of here. Seeing as the blond hated the situation (for I could feel him more than I would have liked to) I assumed his ravenet had betrayed him.

Sebastian couldn't help. Ciel had ordered him out of the picture under the influence of his mutated past, and I doubt he would assist me at any rate. If I was going to do something I would have to do it on my own.

Jin wanted to help, though. The poor thing was horrified of what Claude had done to me. I made sure he stayed out of it, for now, safe from the spider's web.

I didn't realize it was morning until he appeared before me, eyes squinted as I glared up at him. Vile words burned in my throat, but they wouldn't be said anytime soon.

"The young master has called for you."

My eyes widened a bit as I waited for the catch.

"Seeing as your still mute I assume he will become quite bothered, but he will write it off as His Highness's doing no doubt as it were."

I scowled at him, hands itching to strangle him like he'd done me.

"He will not believe anything if you manage to converse with him. I am in complete control now and you have two choices. You may accept the fate I have given you, or you may struggle while I drink every last drop of blood that leaves your being. There will be no other way out for you, witch."

_Then I'll make my own way._

"Your eyes are quite entrancing with such searing rage," he chuckled. "Do struggle. I much prefer your soul's wild desire for freedom. It will be all the more satisfying when you finally succumb to me."

 _Go to hell_. I whipped my head to the side as he loomed over me, unlocking my chains before starting towards the door.

"The young master shall await you in the garden. Do be on time for once, won't you?"

At his foul jab, I lunged forward throwing everything into my punch, but he vanished leaving me to stumble out the door like some fool.

I gritted my teeth behind raw lips as I turned on my heel, starting up the stairs to get to the bathroom to wash my face and soon after the garden. I had to clear my head and figure out a way around this infernal curse that was my life.

The air was crisp as I stormed out the door and into the maze of flowers. I would run into the earl at some point, but I would not go searching for him. If Claude was right about anything we would be drawn together without consent anyway.

I kept my focus on the ground, worn shoes going in and out of sight. Hannah had cleaned me up sometime during the night when I had finally passed out, but that didn't matter. I was contempt with my earl no longer being lacerated, yet he was still tormented by his own mind. I wouldn't be able to explain anything to him without writing it down and even then his understanding was far too rattled to believe me.

The only thing that confused me was how he remembered me. Jin had said he truly only knew me because he had seen Lau go with them to the ball. That meant he didn't remember the Chinese man's betrayal or anything passed that at least.

I was there with him almost every step of the way for his revenge with the Queen, yet he'd seemed to have forgotten all of it. Sebastian's feigned betrayal now filled those spaces and I wondered what memories of ours had been twisted around as well.

A scorching heat passed through my chest as I slowed to a stop hearing Hannah's yell. My powers flared to life as I blinked landing just in front of the mentioned she-demon. My hand unconsciously shot up catching sight of something heading my way and I stared at the end of a cane in my curled palm, now stinging from the force of the swing.

Glancing forward, I followed the item to its holder, eyes widening at Ciel as he stared me dead in the eye. He was shocked by my appearance as well.

The sight of him ruptured something in my heart as I sucked in a harsh breath through my nose, unable to gasp. My legs gave out as I turned, heaving for even breaths. Hannah's presence behind me faded as she fled, destination unknown.

"(Y/n)..." His voice was soft and my eyes burned, watering without permission as I shut them, bowing my head.

We both were so screwed up. I was a mute witch with powers that couldn't even save the one I loved. The earl was falsely past-driven and unsure of who he really was.

Catching sight of movement ahead of me. I paid a glimpse to see a black-gloved hand with familiar, slender fingers adorned with a sapphire held by sterling silver. Raising my head, I was met with the sight of him, hair swaying in the breeze as bright petals swarmed the air--a blizzard of roses. The scene fit him and reminded me so much of my dreams of his dashing smile.

It was not to be seen in reality. Not until everything was over and done with.

"Are you going to take a nap there?" He asked, voice even and strong and gaze unmoving.

I blinked, tears spilling from the corners of my eyes as I sighed, breathing through my nose. He never changed even if he'd gone through hell and back.

Lifting my hand, I laid it in his, watching as his fingers curled over the top of my hand, grip tight and secure. With a harsh tug to my feet, I stumbled forward, a thud being heard as his cane hit the grass. The warmth of his body seeped into mine as he embraced me and I hid my face in his shoulder guiltily.

 _I'm so sorry._ I thought. _This is all my fault._

"I should have realized sooner. You don't die so easily and you promised you'd stay by my side," he whispered as I trembled. He did remember, perhaps not the whole story, but an important part of it. "Sebastian betrayed me--left me, but you were always there."

 _He didn't betray you_ , I wanted to say. _He left you once_ _before_ _, but he never betrayed you._

"Don't ever leave me." His embrace tightened as I laid against his shoulder. "If I lose you it will have all been for nothing."

 _What do you remember? How can I fix your past?_ I asked multiple questions trying to figure out what I needed to separate for him. _If I could just show you your past somehow and wipe away everything else..._

 _"If you can read memories, who's to say you can't erase them, somehow?"_ Jin spoke up as I opened my eyes. He was nearby then. _"Memories are just stored time and if you can skip through it, age it, and stop it, then you can probably change it, too."_

He was right, there had to be a way around that, I just had to test my talents again and find another source of power. Time was filled with unlimited possibilities--there were other dimensions after all, so how had those been created?

 _By changing the outcome_. I thought. Pulling away from Ciel I stared into his eye, going over when I could test my theory out. I couldn't just wing it, what if I screwed up his memories even more?

"What did he do to you?" he asked as I blinked, focusing back on him.

 _What?_ I leaned my head to the side with a questioning expression.

"What did Trancy do to you?" Ciel scowled.

I closed my eyes shaking my head. I didn't want to say and couldn't even if I did. Would he believe me if I said most of it was Claude?

**_"He will not believe anything if you manage to converse with him, I'm in control now..."_ **

_What if he'll put you through another brainwash?_ I thought horrified. That demon would do anything to save his precious meal, so I had to be careful.

"Tell me." The earl pulled me from my head again as I reached up, grabbing my throat with a sorrowful expression.

 _'I_ _can't.'_ I mouthed to him, the truth passing through my eyes. His own widened as he backed a step away.

"Why can't you speak?" His voice was low. I shook my head once more, looking away. My silent words hurt the earl more than I would have ever suspected.

"That bastard deserved far more than the likes of death..." He growled, hands clenching at his sides. I was quick to grab them.

 _Maybe, but I think he can still change for the better. You weren't the only one tricked by a demon_. There was no doubt in my mind who I would choose if I had to decide between my earl or the other, but if I was able to save them both I would do everything in my power to do so.

**< ><><>**

Yay! You and your earl are back together, but how long will that last?

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What was the last movie you watched? Both in theater and on T.V.

_The_ _Nutcracker in theater and Blackfish a documentary on Netflix._

 


	18. 16

The rest of the day was spent by Ciel's side and I had no complaints with that once so ever. We had walked all over the estate, him finding interest in the massive study. He'd seemed to have glared at one particular spot, having glanced up at the second floor with a huff.

 

"I was going to retrieve you after I'd killed him," he murmured, hand tight on mine as I listened intently. "Everything seemed to have backfired and now we've both ended up here." The navyet turned his gaze on me as I held his hand tightly, a sorrowful smile in place.

 

'You did your best.' I mouthed and his eyelid lowered as he looked away.

 

"Nothing is making sense anymore..."

 

I know, but I'll fix everything. I promise. He started for the door, letting his grip slide from my hand as I followed behind unconsciously. I stared at his slender frame, background flickering gold as he walked away from me, fading into the distance.

 

A gasp tore from my throat as I reached out, afraid of losing him, but his hand grabbed mine once more. He was in front of me and the hallway of the Trancy manor echoed back to life as I shut my eyes, holding much too tightly onto the earl.

 

"Are you alright?" His warm tone embraced me as I nodded shakily. He sighed, probably calling my bluff.

 

Soon he was pulling me along again this time, however, he didn't let go. "If you wanted to keep holding hands all you had to do was ask." Ciel huffed ahead of me as I relaxed.

 

It probably would have sounded childish, though.

 

~~~

 

 

"Are you not going to change?" he asked as I fetched the brush from a drawer in the bathroom. The navyet was already dressed in a nightgown, though it was much too frilly for him. I was suited to the white one he'd owned back at the manor.

 

Shaking my head in reply to his question I started back towards him. He was staring at himself in the mirror, but when I came up behind him his focus turns on me in the reflective glass. Reaching up, I brush his hair playfully as he scoffs batting the tool away as I grin.

 

"Give me that, you're much more in need of a brush than I am." He stole the handle from my grip as I froze, the white bristles combing through my hair as I stared at the earl before me surprised. "Your hair grew out if I recall," he muttered, eye following his small chore.

 

I know.

 

When he finally looked at me, he paused his gentle brushing, letting the item rest at his side as he used his free hand to pull back a few pieces that had slipped from behind my ear. The young master put them back where they belonged, touch lingering on my cheek.

 

The blue iris of his captured me and we stood there in complete silence. A small frown worked its way onto my face as I noticed a gleam in his stare. The boy winced as soon as I noticed it and shut his eye turning away from me as he scowled in displeasure.

 

I grabbed his shoulder in worry and let out a breathless cry as something expanded in my chest. I grabbed at where my heart lay, wanting to pull out the pain that rested there as the feeling of thorns knotting up within the cavity grew.

 

Their souls... They were battling again and I felt the cold sense of Alois trying to overpower the warmth in me.

 

Stop! I screamed at the blond trying to push his presence away from Ciel. I'll get you out soon, so don't fight for control! I pleaded.

 

The small piece of my soul was stuck between the two. My earl's breathless gasp was heard as I opened my eyes just in time to see glass explode to my left. The brush clattered to the ground as shining shards followed in tow, clinking against the floor.

 

"Young master."

 

I winced at the voice of Claude and turned as he stood in the doorway, hurrying passed me to Ciel as my gut twisted in unease.

 

Stop touching him. My fingers twitched at my sides as I glared at the ravenet.

 

"What happened?" He asked as the boy panted, straightening from his throwing pose as he breathed heavily.

 

"I thought I saw Alois reflected in the mirror." He backed up into the hands of the demon as I gritted my teeth.

 

"Young master, are you hurt?"

 

"I am fine." Ciel pulls away from the monster's touch, frowning as he turns his eye on me.

 

"(Y/n), tidy up the room. I will take the young master to bed," Claude orders as my hands ball into fists, powers pushing at the wall I have them currently behind.

 

"You tidy up here," Ciel replies, scowling at the demon.

 

"Young master?" He frowns in shock and I fight back the bit of satisfaction that's sparked in me.

 

"(Y/n), let's go."

 

I'm more than happy to oblige his wish as I follow the earl out of the room, closing the door behind me with a small smile in place. As we make our way down the hall and back to what was suppose to be Alois's room I feel my stomach shift at the sight of blood trailing behind Ciel. Hurrying him to the bed, he watches silently as I check his feet, finding one cut bleeding rather much.

 

He must have cut it on the glass. I think and dig in my apron for the handkerchief I rarely used.

 

"I wonder what that was," he murmurs as I glanced up at him, resuming my aid. I'm careful as I wipe at his small wound, keeping the bits of crimson away from my skin. Ciel's foot flinches at my light dabs and I wonder then, what he felt exactly when Alois had tried to take over. Hopefully nothing as painful as I had.

 

"I'm tired of this mansion," he breathes as I blink up at him, "I want to go back."

 

'Back home?' I mouth and he shook his head, expression saddened to the point I feel my heart shatter into pieces.

 

"No. I want to go back to that time..." My eyes widen, wondering what exactly he meant as he cups my face, eyes dazed. "The color of your eyes are so nostalgic to me, somehow."

 

I lay my hand over his and frown, feeling my throat tighten uncomfortably as pain encases me. I hated seeing him so lost. Feeling pins prick at my skin I turned, glaring at the door as it opens. Hannah appears and I lose the anger in my expression as she smiles gently at me. There are bandages in her hands.

 

How did she know...? I stand as she approaches.

 

"I'll wrap his foot." She says and takes the handkerchief I have in my possession as I frown suspiciously at her actions. Her eye squints down at me as my guards go up. "You're needed elsewhere."

 

I don't have time to react as she slams the bloodied cloth over my arm. I suck in a breath, scrambling back as the fabric falls to the floor.

 

No, no, no! I wipe at the blood on my arms trying to get it off, but it seeps into my skin and my powers roar to life. This was the one talent I hadn't learned to control and somehow she had figured it out.

 

I push and shove at the feeling of reading memories, but it continued forward, taking over my senses. The last thing I hear before unconsciousness takes me is Ciel's voice calling my name.

 

~~~

 

My head was pounding as the darkness draped itself around me, keeping me centered as two luminescent souls stood on either side of me.

 

To my right laid Ciel's, a deep cerulean just like his eye. His warmth radiated off of his cruel past as it played through my mind, ensnared by Alois's. The latter floats carelessly to my left just the way it had always been and as blue as the sky.

 

I can't read two pasts at the same time. I'm stuck. I realize as I frown, anger building from Hannah's betrayal.

 

It never occurred to me that she would try to take Ciel as well, but he seemed to be a favorite among demons and the like.

 

I can't blame them, I frowned as I cup my hands under my earl, staring into his soul endearingly. He's too perfect for his own good.

 

Tapping into my talents, I focus on my memories and lead them through my mind, settling them on top of my lips as they glowed a dim white.

 

Surprisingly it was easy to do, but then again magic was second nature by now. All I had to do was think it and if I was capable then it would be given. If I lost my memories by doing this, so be it. I would get them back at some point.

 

Lifting the soft spirit of his to my lips, I kiss him softly.

 

I won't eat you, I tease as his warmth embraces me absorbing the bit of power I produced easily, your soul was never meant to be mere food, Ciel.

 

Sighing, I find all my recollections intact as I let him slip from my hands, staying put in the space that trapped us so. Turning to Alois I tread over, approaching his soul carefully.

 

When I reach for him an icy lash strikes out, sending a painful sting up my arm. I wince but take it in stride.

 

You've done worse, Alois. You can't hurt me more than you already have. Grabbing his spirit gently I blow out a shivering breath as his bitterness encases me. His past rages on inside my head and I shake my head at him.

 

I know you want to avenge Luka--his soul ripples in my palms before the cold bites at my skin mercilessly--but it wasn't Sebastian. His highness continues to writhe in my grip, not wanting to hear my voice as I hold him close.

 

I know how it feels to lose someone you love, Alois. You blame yourself, I know you do, and you try to make up for it by killing the demon that stole your brother's soul. If he could make any noise I'm sure the blond would be hissing right now with all the wrath radiating from him.

 

Please, I whisper, begging him to hear what I have to say. Don't die the way your brother did. All you're doing is hurting yourself--you're just following in his steps. He gave his soul to grant your wish and in return, you're letting a demon take you just like him? He wouldn't want that.

 

He's had enough with me and I let go of his soul as pain spreads from my hands all the way through my body. The freezing lashes force me to my knees as I breathe in a rugged breath. Something warm slithers into my curled form, resting against my chest. My eyes water as I hold Ciel in my arms. Even in this state, he wants to comfort me--to protect me.

 

No, I have to protect you, I tell him, or all of this will have been for nothing. The light surrounding him fades a bit but flickers back to life as he launches out of my arms, going after Alois.

 

A choked yell escapes me as they rip at each other, memories clashing as pressure forms in my head once more. I stumble towards them, grabbing a hold of Ciel's as I pull him back from the blond's bitter lashes of ice. Holding my earl in one hand and snatching his Highness in another I do my best to keep their souls from tearing away at each other.

 

Stop! I need both of you to cooperate if I'm going to separate you. Alois jabs himself into my side, shoving and flickering angrily as I sigh. I can't let you have him all in order to make Sebastian suffer. Ciel has nothing to do with your past and you know it. How dare you use him in all of this--me in all of this! You're the one in the wrong here, I state calmly as his light roars at me silently.

 

I want to help you, I tell him truthfully, and I know you can choose the better path here. His soul burns something bright as he escapes my hold, floating ahead of me. Don't let that spider trick you, no matter how kind he was--no matter how much he made you think you were important he's the one that killed you in the end. I could see that awful recollection playing, that brunet murdering him cruelly while he was already in so much pain.

 

I'm sorry that he doesn't love you, I understand that pain, too. Tears pool in my eyes as I reach out for the boy. But I care what happens to you. I don't want you to pass on with all that weight on your shoulders. Let me help you, Alois.

 

"You can't," a voice breaks through, causing his spirit to ripple as I clutch Ciel closer to me, "it's too late! My mind has already taken over his!"

 

I can fix this--

 

"No, you're wrong. You're just a weak little witch with some tricks up her sleeves. You can't save souls--they're not so easily changed."

 

Is that you talking, or your anger? I bite back. You're not even in control of yourself anymore! You let your revenge take over and now Ciel's life is at stake.

 

"And in the end, that's all you care about. You just want to save him--you just want him like every other goddamn monster in my life!"

 

That's not true, I want to save you, too.

 

"So does Claude. He'll save me."

 

No, he won't. He doesn't care about you. My voice was strong and there was no hint of doubt to be found.

 

"Then prove it."

 

<><><>

 

Alois we have you in our best interest stop being a d!ck.

 

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

 

What do you love and hate about Alois?

 

I love his precious moments with Luka, and I hate his interest in Ciel and all the times he touched him.


	19. 17

The feeling of falling surfaced as I opened my eyes, feeling a solid ground knock reality back into me. The world slowly began to clear as I stared up at a luminescent...clock tower?

Frowning, I winced at the pounding in my head and took a breath of cool air. Voices danced around my head as I tried to make sense of everything.

 _Alois forced me out ... Ciel's still stuck_ , I recall as I lean up, grabbing my chest at the sharp pain in my heart.

 ** _"Then prove it."_** I hear his voice echo as I look to my right.

Two figures stand and I instantly pick out Hannah from the pricks in my skin and her familiar clothing. The other was dressed in blue and from the color of his hair I knew it was Ciel, but something felt off. I couldn't sense the warmth in him anymore--only ice.

 _That's right. He said he took over_...

Getting to my feet, I stumbled before hearing a strangely familiar laugh, though, it was much too expressive like the true earl's.

"Finally awake, little witch?" Two blue eyes, definitely brighter in contrast to the ones I knew, stared at me, wide and insane. "I felt you, you know, trying to pull him from my grasp..."

My focus lowers to his arm's movement and my eyes widen at the deep scratch mark he inflicts upon Ciel's body. Blood dribbles down his stomach as anger pools in my own, burning my insides.

"Master, please do not..." Hannah speaks up as I frown at her voice. This was all her doing.

"Are you worried about this body?" Alois turns towards his maid, eyes squinted in anger. The lavenderette gasps at the question as he takes a dangerous step towards her. "Do you prefer Ciel Phantomhive to me as well?"

He doesn't let her answer as he kicks her away ruthlessly. She hits the ground hard and the earl approaches her, not done just yet.

"In what way am I inferior to him?" He begins his kicking again, but before he can get a second one in I pull him away, grip tight on his arm.

"You insolent wench!" Alois turns not even pausing as he slams his fist into my jaw sending me to the ground. I skid over the course stone and shakily push myself up with my hands, ignoring the unpleasant throb in my cheek.

A gasp escapes me as my left hand suddenly slips off, my chest slamming against the ground harshly, and I realize I'm at the edge of the tower. My sight spins at the long drop beneath me as I scrambled back only to run into a pair of legs. My expression twists into a painful one as my hair is once again captured, forcing me to my knees. I stare into his highness's eyes as his grip tightens on my white tipped locks.

"And what makes you so special?" He hisses, digging his fingernails into my scalp as he shakes me relentlessly like a broken toy to a spoiled toddler. I wheeze and his eyes burn with rage as he raises his fist again. His grip, however, loosens as I fall onto all fours, watching in pure shock as he grabs at his chest, clearly uncomfortable.

"Master?" Hannah's at his side.

"He's struggling, that brat." The earl chokes out as my heart skips a beat, hope filling me. If Ciel was fighting Alois hadn't completely taken over him. I still had a chance yet at separating them if my earl was able to remember the memories I had given him.

"Claude, hurry up! Come here, Claude! Don't be so sluggish. I even added a handicap in your favor!"

My head jerks up as the once blonde yells out at the maze. Confusion tumbles through my aching head as more pinpricks build in my skin.

 _Claude and Sebastian are here_. The other demon presences had to be the ravenet since the triplets were never apart--it would have been stronger. I shivered and sighed at the familiar sense of a reaper. I knew three and with Sebastian being here there was only one choice to who it could be.

Ignoring the thought of the redhead and his damning job of deciding fates, I focus on his highness as his shoulders begin to tremble. He stares down at the maze, waiting with a relentless flame in his gaze. Hannah comes up behind him silently while I get to my feet, knees weak.

"He said, 'yes, your Highness'. See? He's still my butler." The boy speaks through his tears as my heart twists seeing as the expression was Ciel's. It was immensely difficult to see him as the torturer I knew and feared when he was using my earl, but the chilling sense told me the truth. "I feel loved...so much...Claude loves me so much."

"Then, why are you crying?" Hannah asks the question I inquire within.

The boy doesn't answer. I frown making my way towards him. I had to prove that his demon was manipulating him, somehow. The hidden Trancy bends at the waist, disturbed by the other half within him and I curl my hands into fists as Ciel continues to fight. The sound of rumbling in the distance causes me to look ahead.

"What's happening?" Alois asks through clenched teeth.

"The labyrinth is..." The lavenderette is starring wide eyed as my eyebrows crease in puzzlement. I watch the greenery below in wonder as it begins to shift dizzily. I hadn't been paying attention the game below, not even understanding when it had begun.

"It's changing shape!" The earl exclaims.

"This labyrinth moves according to your heart, master, and Ciel's mind managed to invade it."

"What?" He questioned, shocked as I cheer on the latter in my head. His warmth is beginning to pick up in my chest and I urge him to keep at it--just a little longer. The echo of horns sounds as I stare out, managing to spot a black figure among the maze. It was Sebastian, perhaps?

"How dare you..." Alois grinds out and I turn to face him, gritting my teeth as he begins to hurt Ciel's body. I launch forward, grabbing his fists as we stumble back from the sudden unbalance.

"Stop getting in my way!" He screams turning his anger on me. I preferred it be me than him and gladly took another hit as my heartbeat spread throughout my wounded face. "I also... I also want to ask Claude something!"

"Master, look," Hannah calls as she stares at the maze once more. I turn and frown at the sight. "It's Claude. It seems that he has reached the last question."

"Finally... Finally, I can ask you. Claude, why did you...why did you kill me?" His voice was so frail as he spoke, staring down at the greenery with hopeful eyes.

 _Oh, Alois..._ Claude could be heard from below as he began his answer. I scowled at his lie, but then he paused and silence echoed.

"I killed him with the intention of using him as a tool to obtain Ciel Phantomhive." The horrid truth came out and I felt the agony that pierced his Highness.

 _You bastard_. The maze didn't like his reply either and his form disappeared as the sound of a buzzer rang out. It seemed I didn't have to prove anything after all.

"Why-Why? You could have lied! You should know how this labyrinth works!" The boy's heart-wrenching statement showed just how truly love blinded him. "Even so... Why did you..."

 _"Because_ he _..didn't_ love you _."_ The earl turned at my uneven voice as I got to my feet once more, letting my hand fall from the stinging pulse in my jaw.

"No, Claude-"

"Manipulated you." I finished with a cough, frowning at him. "Why can't you... _see_ _that_?" I wheezed, vomiting up a puddle of crimson as I bent over, face burning from all the hits I'd received.

"Claude..." Alois whimpered and grabbed at his head, stumbling back as Hannah tried to catch him. He landed in front of me, writhing in pain. "Why? Why do you struggle, Ciel? Why can't you be satisfied? Aren't you happy?" The boy lifted his head as tears streamed down his face. My eyes burned at the dreaded sorrow. Alois sobbed, "Even Claude is rushing around to save you. Isn't it funny? Why aren't you just enjoying it?"

His short intakes of breath seized as something flashes across his features--causing my blood to run cold. His focus lands on me and doesn't move. Slowly, the tears stopped falling and a truly uneasy grin lit up his face as he stared at me.

"You..." he breathed, stepping forward once as I stood, frozen in terror. "It's because of _you,_ little witch. He doesn't want those pesky demons' attention, he wants _you_ and that's all he's ever been after."

" _Alois_..." I whispered as he walked forward, stopping just in front of me. His teeth shone in the light of the clock tower as he smiled manically at me.

"So, if I kill you--" a gasp tore through me as his hands wrapped around my throat, squeezing ruthlessly, "--he won't struggle anymore."

 _"No-!"_ I choked out, grabbing at his wrists as I tried to free myself. My powers trembled inside of me, but I wouldn't use them on Ciel's body--I couldn't.

"Witches can't die easily, you know," Alois giggled, forcing me to lower to my knees before my back pressed against the cold ground. I coughed, trying to loosen his tight grip as my nails dug into his skin.

" _Alois_... _please_..." I entreated fervently.

"They only die..." his eyes hardened as he tilted his head, "by being _burned_ _to death_."

 _No!_ I screamed, kicking out unconsciously as writhed underneath, poisonous dots beginning to cloud my vision.

"Hannah, fetch me some fire, won't you?" His voice echoed in the blurry mess that was my sight as I wheezed, begging him to stop. My life flashed before my eyes and it felt like I hadn't seen it so clearly in ages. Perhaps my mind knew I was going to die this time--that there wouldn't be another chance, so it allowed me to have one last look at all the things I'd done.

His face entered the pressured scene as warmth echoed in my chest, feeling miles away and out of my reach. I didn't want to leave him, I still had so much to tell him...

"C... _iel_..." My voice was practically gone as well as my strength, but I still reached, grazing his face with my fingertips. Blue eyes faded and blood trailed from the corner of my mouth as my eyes widened. My arm gave out leaving my hand to fall heavily to the ground.

Just when my lungs are about to collapse and leave me unconscious for death the pressure on my neck subsides; I suddenly choke down air desperately. The crowded dots taking up my view disperse as I cough, leaning my head back to let the air flow more easily.

Blinking, I was met with the shadowed face of Ciel leaning over me, eyelids low. My heart seized in my chest before beating again at the sight of his deep, cerulean eye and glowing, amethyst contract. They were clear and completely sane as they stared down at me, pained yet soft.

I flinched as his hand cupped my face, it was as warm as his soul had been when I'd gotten the chance to hold it. My eyes watered as he sighed, his own closing as he frowned and leaned down. My chest shuttered as his lips pressed against my forehead gently, murmuring, _"I'm sorry"_ before he pulled away leaving me frozen and still.

The cool air embraced me as he left my peripheral view. And as I leaned up on trembling hands his voice echoed out into the night.

"Sebastian! What are you doing, idling there? You're the one who made me accomplish my revenge. This is an order:--" my breath caught in my throat as I jerked forward, "--come and consume my soul! Until the very moment you finish devouring my soul, you are my butler, Sebastian Michaelis!"

My voice broke into a series of coughs as blood splattered against the floor, blurring my vision. My throat was bruised inside and out and there was no telling what damage had been dealt with the mental part of this all.

 _How could you order that?_ I think, falling onto my side as the edges of my sight faded to black. Voices were muffled and soon silence was all that was left.

 _How could you, when I...?_ My emotions broke loose, intermingling with my abused powers. I told them to stop, but they never listened when they were angry--or in this case heartbroken. They had made their own decision and no doubt Jin was a part of it.

 _"Ciel decided his fate, (y/n)."_ My familiar whispered as tears streamed my face, throat tightening to the brink of stinging discomfort. The salty tears burned once they came into contact with my bruises and I sighed in remorse.

 _I love him._.. I think, as my eyes screw shut, heart aching as that one piece of my soul lingers with his. _I love him...so much._

 _And Alois loved Claude,_ another part of you hisses. _This is what happens when you fall in love. Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is just another word for 'the end' because there's no such thing as everlasting life. Life is just a small portion of time, while time itself is never-ending. Nothing more, nothing less._

"Why him?" I hear his voice and just through the haze I see Ciel, but Alois is the one who stares down at me. His scowl shows his disgust as he spires out, "How do you fall for someone so pitiful?"

 _"Pitiful?"_ I repeat hoarsely. "You're...the pitiful one, Alois, and...I feel sorry for you." That prior flame heats his eyes once more and the last thing I see is the sole of his shoe as it falls towards me.

 _He never knew.._. I think mindlessly as the sensation of falling wraps around me, freeing my other senses of needles and shivers, while that warmth I loved so much began to disappear.

**< ><><>**

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

What is your favorite music genre at the moment?

_Indie and remixes._

 


	20. NOT AN UPDATE

**_A/N_ ** _: So, yeah... We're getting mighty close to the end of the sequel. DONT WORRY, THOUGH! The next chapter isn't the epilogue just yet._

_But I wanted to take the time to tell all of you how ecstatic I am to have such sweet readers. You've all been so supportive and interactive and many of you have become good friends of mine on other sites! It's super amazing how much all of you genuinely enjoy this series and I only wish there was more I could give to you guys._

_As a "end of the story" gift, I'm taking all the fanart I currently have of MtM and making a video to appreciate all the creativity you guys have sent in! If you guys want to resend stuff or spoil me with some more of your fabulous art feel free to email me at_ **_fanficgirl2727@gmail.com_ ** _or message me on_ **_tumblr or Instagram_ ** _(all under the same username GhistWrite)._

_ALSO, I've made a discord for all you lovely readers! Here's the link (be warned tho you have to have had a discord for five minutes so make yours first!):_ **_https://discordapp.com/invite/TM8ewu_ **

_I plan to do a meetup on discord for the last chapter of MtM! It'll be published after my little meet and greet with those who show up and everyone can react to it together! The date will be posted on discord for those who are curious!_

_Again, thanks so much for everything. I really hope you guys will stick with me on this ride to the last sentence. I promise you, the very end will leave you all satisfied when it's out!_

_Love you, and as always..._

_Hope ya like it!_

 


	21. 🎄Christmas Special 🎄

(In which Ciel and you are a bit older and a bit more comfortable around one another. Happy Holidays!)

 

_‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring—_

 

The recognizable sound of plates and/or glasses shattering seeped through the many walls of the Phantomhive Estate.

 

_—except for those bumbling servants, of course._

 

It was late—much too late—for anyone to be up at the hour. Alas, there you were, scrubbing the floors until you could see the pores of your reflection. You were too close to the kitchen to not have heard the disaster that just took place. But even if you’d been at the furthest possible point of the house, you'd still have sensed the crash.

 

You would think after all these years your sweet imbeciles would finally know how to _not_ make a mess of things. It stopped being funny after the first week of working here and turned into a daily misfortune that nothing on earth could prevent. Now, it was just plain irritating.

 

You were tired, no, you were _exhausted_. Why did guests have to leave so many smudges behind when they walked? Why were people in the nineteenth century so rude? Why, _why_ , did Ciel insist on having these infernal parties if he abhorred them with every fiber of his being?

 

“‘Keep up formalities’ my ass,” you groused, wet rag slapping against the floor as you got to your feet. Your aching knees protested but you had always been a trouper when it came to pushing past pain. It was the only reason you stood here today.

 

When you arrived at the scene, you found Sebastian had beaten you there, which came as no surprise. Super speed wasn’t the only thing a supernatural being of his origins possessed.

 

“You mean to tell me you stacked all the dishes from the gala and they just toppled over?” His red eyes hid his annoyance well, but the vein threatening to pop at his temple signified how little of a patience he held at the moment.

 

“We’re so sorry, we are!” Finny and Mey-Rin cried, bowing repeatedly over the thousands of shards sparkling in the light of the kitchen.

 

You passed by quietly, fetching a broom while Sebastian did his best to quell his wrath. For a demon who supposedly couldn’t feel emotions, he looked mighty chafed.

 

“Give us a break. The party stole all our energy,” Bard acquitted, kneeling down to pick up a large chunk of what seemed to be a teapot. You blanched behind them, broom in hand.

 

 _Oh, man, is that?_ It was. In all the times you’d served Ciel tea, that was the pot it spouted from.

 

“And, yet, here you are doing chores you weren’t asked to do.” Sebastian huffed, pulling you out of your shock.

 

A frustrated sniff came from Mey-Rin as she wiped at her eyes beneath her thin-rimmed glasses. “We know Tanaka said he’d do it! But he fell asleep, he did, and we thought we mustn’t bother him!”

 

The butler sighed, gloved fingers finding sanctuary on the bridge of his finely structured nose. “It is Christmas Eve,” he articulated, eyes screwed shut, “so I will grant you a pardon this time.”

 

The three cheered.

 

“But,” he glared something vicious, somehow smiling innocently all the while, “one more mishap and there shall be three more Christmas spirits to visit Scrooge this year.”

 

A gulp was taken in unison.

 

Sebastian uttered your name, causing you to seize up. With soft eyes he gestured to the broom you held. “Allow them to take care of this mess. You still have the foyer floors to finish.”

 

“Right,” you breathed, relaxing as you passed the cleaning tool to Mey-Rin.

 

“After this everyone is to report to their rooms. That’s enough work for one night.” Sebastian nodded to you in farewell before taking his leave to finish up all other responsibilities.

 

As the troublesome trio got straight to work, you returned to your previous location with a frown on your lips. You were always good about completing your chores, hence why Sebastian rarely got angry with you. Tonight, though, you wanted nothing more than to sleep as your insomnia had been defeated by the poor houseguests you’d begrudgingly served an hour prior.

 

 _Almost done_ , you told yourself, getting back into your position on the floor, knees stinging at they met it.

 

“Still hard at work, I see.”

 

Looking over your shoulder, you smiled as the earl stalked down the steps leisurely. His pristine suit gave away that he’d also been busy even at this hour.  

 

You groaned quietly as you sat back on your calves, turned towards him. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

 

“Anyone would be awake after that ruckus,” he scoffed, eye slinking towards the doors that lead to the dining hall. “What was is this time?”

 

“The usual,” you murmured with a shrug, refusing to mention the teapot.

 

“Typical of them.”

 

“It’s a routine by now, what do you expect?”

 

“Some peace and quiet. Especially today of all days,” he griped, eye squinted in vexation.

 

You laughed weakly, energy waning. “And, yet, you still hold a party.”

 

“It’s a cursed tradition, but a tradition nonetheless.”

 

“Lizzy had a good time.” You recalled her radiant smile as she tackled the earl with a warm hug fit for anything hibernal.

 

He exhaled, placing a hand on the stair rail. “Of course she did.”

 

Your frown returned, heavier than ever. “You look tired. Go get some sleep.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I have to finish up here,” you excused.

 

He hummed, scanning the wide expanse of the foyer’s flooring. “I say you’re quite done, then.”

 

“Ciel,” you grumbled, not amused as there were clearly still dirtied spots left over.

 

“Leaving one measly chore unfinished won’t kill you.”

 

“No, but Sebastian might.”

 

He almost chuckled. Almost. “Come along. I’d enjoy company while I finish some paperwork.”

 

“Oh, so you can finish but I can’t?” You rolled your eyes as you stood, grabbing the bucket and rag to deposit next to the staircase. Blinking over was necessary as to avoid messing up all your hard work.

 

Ciel sent a smirk your way, somehow humored despite your complaint. He said nothing as he turned, heading up the steps and you followed obediently to accompany him.

 

“I meant to thank you,” he started halfway up. “Sebastian mentioned it was your idea to put the tree up.”

 

You paused, a bit embarrassed. There had just seemed a lack of Christmas spirit in the home, so you’d begged the butler to put up decorations. Nothing Lizzy-like, just something simple like a tree and a few strings of lights. Besides, decorating the tree had been fun. It really brought you and the other servants closer, and Jin was happy to put the star on top.

 

Speaking of which, the bugger was still sleeping soundly even after the kitchen disaster. You wish you could drift off that deeply.

 

“I just thought it’d be nice since we never did it the last few times,” you said shyly. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like holidays…”

 

“I don’t dislike them,” he muttered, surprising you. “On the contrary, these last few years it’s gotten to be a bit easier.”

 

Confused for a moment, you didn’t understand his statement until you both reached the top of the stairs.

 

 _Oh_ , you thought, forlorn. You guess it wouldn’t be easy to celebrate what with no family and all.

 

For you, it’s always been hard _because_ of family.

 

Yet, despite the differences, both circumstances held the lack of holiday cheer that came with loving parents. He’d had it in beginning. You’d never gotten the chance to experience it.

 

The both of you walked side by side, coming to a stop in the doorway entering the upstairs hall as a clock bellowed in the distance. It was midnight.

 

You caught his gaze and smiled.

 

“Merry Christmas,” you whispered.  

 

The blue of his eye appeared to deepen almost before both of your brows furrowed at the delicate ring of a bell. Looking up, you stared at the golden singer, hanging surrounded by a very familiar plant.

 

Your face filled with heat as you whipped your gaze to the ground, unable to move. Why was that even up there? If it was for the party, it should’ve been down in the ballroom, not this far in where no one would go unless they were wandering aimlessly.

 

“Uh.” You choked up, unsure how to proceed. There was no way this would happen. You were fine with writing this off as a joke. The pang in your heart told you otherwise, however. “It’s just a silly tradition,” you said in a rush, refusing to meet the earl’s gaze. “I don’t even know why it’s up there…”

 

“I’m sure one of the others is behind it, but...” His quiet sigh dared you to take a glimpse. You were met with a familiar, captivating sea of cerulean. “I’m a stickler for traditions, silly or not.”

 

Before you could comprehend his words, his warm hand was cupping the back of your neck, the other on your waist. Another jingle of the bell echoed and you all but melted in bliss.

 

His lips were soft and cushioned against yours nicely. Your hands found purchase against his chest, the only thing separating it from your own. Even if he hadn’t pulled you closer, you have fallen right into his arms like you were now.

 

When he pulled away it took you a moment to realize, dazed by the suddenness of it all. Your eyelids were heavy as you pried them apart to look at him. You weren’t sure when you had even closed them.

 

He stared, his thumb swiping over your cheek as the hand at your neck rose to your jaw. Your heart stumbled over its beats, unsure yet undeniably smitten.

 

“Merry Christmas, indeed,” he whispered.

 

Then, a smile graced his flushed lips.

 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. 18

Silence was still and unwavering as his eye roamed the destitute landscape that was undoubtedly his mind. It was thoroughly corrupted at this point. The air was as heavy with burdens that'd come to weigh him down after all these incriminating years, yet, only one could pain him to such lengths. Closing his eye he let out a deep breath, an air of apology encasing him as he glowered.

 

"You really hurt her, didn't you?" A lone, cerulean eye glared daggers back at the boy who shared his private space. Their thoughts were wound into one giant knot, threatening to never part without a damageable slice of something sharp--of something wicked.

 

"It had to be done," Ciel answered monotonously, eyelids lowering into a tired squint as he blinked.

 

Alois sighed, closing his own. "She was annoying, never parting from you this entire time, but now that little piece of her has run off."

 

"Are you daft?" Her earl retaliated, tone menacing. "She hasn't left."

 

"Hmm? How can you tell?"

 

He only huffed, eyes scanning through the darkness as he kept his lips sealed. He didn't have to explain anything to this obnoxious scoundrel.

 

"Either way, she's still hiding from you. She must truly be heartbroken if her soul can't stand to be around you."

 

"I won't make excuses on her behalf. She's free to make her own decisions."

 

"Why did you do it?" The blond murmured, turning his head just slightly to catch a glimpse of the boy behind him. He sounded genuinely curious. "Why did you order such a thing when you knew it would just ruin her?"

 

"I keep my promises just as she does."

 

"I'm guessing you never promised her anything in return, then?"

 

"I vowed that she'd live," he bit out, tired of the conversation as his eyes flared dangerously. "Sebastian was ordered to keep his hands off her soul, but you and your demon had to go and ruin everything. She was supposed to go home."

 

"And for that I do apologize," Alois breathed, eyes downcast as he continued, "but for the time being I had her I found a bit of happiness. Her smile reminded me of Luka..."

 

"That is, before you stole it." Ciel hissed, sharply.

 

"She was a good fighter, I'll give her that.” The blonde grinned, hair bouncing as he tilted his head to the side. "Took me months to break her, can you believe it? Honestly, one reminder of you and she would recall everything. It was such a pain back then."

 

"You bastard," Phantomhive's voice shook in profound anger. If he could he would throttle him but there was no use when they were still connected.

 

"No matter what I did, she always saw you in something," the knave went on, "be it a book, or even her reflection." He was thoughtful for a moment. "I now see why I couldn't erase you from her memory completely. Had I known you held a piece of her inside you I would have tossed her."

 

"Quit your rant," he growled, hands forming fists at his sides. With an annoyed huff, he opened his eyes from their clenched sate. There was a tug at his chest and his heart stopped. It wasn't until he spotted the small orb of light that it continued to beat consistently.

 

"Ooh, there she is!" Alois beamed, turning to see what had caused the sudden shift in the air. "Guess you were right. Loyal little witch, isn't she?"

 

The fragile little iota of her floated closer, hesitant as it tested the area around the one-eyed boy. His hand tightened atop the broken checkerboard beneath him before he offered it to her, eyes soft and nearly pleading.

 

She seemed to brighten at his invitation and flew closer running against his palm before settling on his shoulder, rubbing into the crook of his neck. Her golden glow was heavenly in the dark space they inhabited and relief flooded him. She hadn't even given it a second thought--just forgave him then and there. It caused an ache to form inside his chest.

 

"She'll live, that's for sure." Alois hummed, grinning gently down at her spirit as it flickered behind him like a candle in the wind.

 

"And you said you did this for her?" Her earl questioned as the boy nodded in reply.

 

"I thought it was the least I could do after the hell I put her through. Besides, my target was always Sebastian, not the two of you."

 

"She'll detest me once this is all over and done with."

 

"Aww, don't say that! Wasn't that Smile fellow important to her? If so you should be in the clear."

 

His royal blue eye bore into the distance as he huffed, irritated. That parasite of a brat had no idea what he'd done. This wasn't a favor for her sake if anything it would be another nightmare.

 

"Ridiculous..." The navyet scowls, "A demon duel of all things?"

 

"Funny, isn't it? Men of their age getting all fired up."

 

"Alois." He looks back, the bit of the girl's soul on his shoulder tumbling towards his lap at his movement. He catches her easily, not even glancing down, and her warmth spreads throughout his hand.

 

"Once my wish is granted, I will surely die and let Hannah eat my soul. Then, I'll give this body back to you."

 

"This body..." Ciel mutters. The light in his hands dims and the corners of his lips curve downwards as he runs a finger over her lightly. She perks up at the attention if only a little. This part of her knew what was coming. He wondered if the rest of her did as well.

 

"Sorry for doing this, Ciel, but both Sebastian and Claude love you. It's your punishment for being too high-class."

 

"Love from those two? Disgusting." He huffs and flinches as (y/n) hovers back onto his shoulder.

 

"You can't say the same for her, though." Alois chuckles.

 

"You don't know Sebastian and what he'll do once he learns the contents of the contract." The earl changes the subject.

 

"No, but I'm sure it would be fun to watch." The boy smiles as the Phantomhive heir merely scoffs.

 

"My revenge is complete. I stayed alive for him to eat my soul."

 

"But because of my contract with Hannah, that came to naught. Although, surely, that wasn't your only reason?" Alois smirked.

 

"I never said it was, Trancy," Ciel replies, cupping a hand over the witch's soul protectively. "Miserable demons fighting cluelessly. They don't know that even if one of them were to win, what he would get in the end is..." His words trail off as (y/n) slips out from under his palm, twirling through his fingers gracefully before setting herself gently in the center of his upturned hand. A sudden sense breaks through the dark mind of the earl as he closes his eyes.

 

"Claude!" Alois calls, eyes widening in distress.

 

"It's over."

 

"Yeah. It's over." The blond slowly smiles in agreement and flinches as something smooth runs across his jaw. He huffs and watches the small piece of soul from the girl skitter across his hand.

 

"Are you satisfied?"

 

"Who knows? I don't know anymore. But..."

 

"But?" Ciel presses, focusing over his shoulder at her.

 

"I think I'm happy not knowing."

 

Alois smiles one last time as (y/n) grazes his cheek comfortingly before floating back to her partner. Sky blue eyes close as their owner illuminates, disappearing in a flash of white, leaving the earl and his companion alone.

 

Getting to his feet the remaining male looks up, letting the witch swirl around him nervously. “Sebastian, the truth is before your eyes. What will you do once you know everything?"

 

Her light grows steadily brighter as the boy sighs offering a small smile to her as he catches her dancing form, holding her close. "And what will you do once you find out?" he whispers, closing his eyes as he leans forward, kissing the small portion of her soul endearingly. Her voice echoes in his head, tired and broken.

 

"I won't eat you," there's playfulness in her tone as it softens. Her warmth embraces him as she continues, "your soul was never meant to be mere food, Ciel. "

 

 

"And neither was yours," he murmurs, guiltily, before swallowing her whole.

 

 

~~~

 

 

The ground was cold as I laid on my side, staring numbly ahead as Jin curled up by my stomach, his wolf form providing warmth and security for my drained body. I couldn't find it in myself to leave the crumbled clock tower behind. The destruction had destroyed all but my weakened space.

 

The ghost-like sun had finally risen and in that moment agony struck, swallowing me whole as I gasped grabbing at my chest. I curled in on myself.

 

Jin's on his feet pacing back and forth as his tail stirs the dirt up, calling my name anxiously. My teeth clench as I dig my fingertips into my skin, the cavity beneath them throbbing brutally as I shut my eyes. Tears were quick to fall as I hid my face in my scraped hands, shoulders shaking.

 

He was gone.

 

There was no ounce of warmth left in me along with the chill Alois had brought. Both earls had finally met their end and I had been left behind, wallowing in my filth and sorrow like some pathetic worm. Opening my eyes I force myself up, spitting blood as I do.

 

"(Y/n)?" Jin calls softly, sitting in front of me with drooping ears.

 

He got his wish, I state silently and wipe my eyes, but no matter how many times I did so the tears continued to fall. Getting to my feet, I eventually collapse and end up back on my side.

 

I could go back home, I begin a distraction--anything, the servants are still there with no one to serve. I could take care of the mansion and possibly continue Funtom.

 

You'll go mad there and you know it. You'll see him at every turn.'

 

Or I could go back to my original time, the idea forms. Smile and my aunt are still there, waiting for me.

 

Your father and brother live in that dimension. Do you really want to go back there and risk seeing them again?

 

Or maybe... I look up at the sky passively, a numbness encasing me as I close my eyes. Maybe I could go to an entirely different place and just start all over.

 

That's just running away from your problems.

 

...Why do I use answers I already know?

 

Because you need to hear it one way or another.

 

Huffing to myself I roll my eyes. I'd gone through one hell of a ride this year so it wasn't surprising I was second guessing every choice I had.

 

Sighing, I continue my sulking as Jin trailed behind me, silent worry drifting through our bond. I wanted to comfort him, but I seemed to be out of it at the moment, blocking him unconsciously.

 

An hour, perhaps two, seems to pass by quickly and soon enough I find myself overlooking the edge of my small cliff. The destruction below has a relatively moody color and is dark despite the clear weather. I stare down at it for some time and when I take a grave breath a small hand grabs mine. Looking to my right, Jin's golden gaze meets mine as his grip tightens on me. Tears escape his beautiful eyes. I feel his fear as he curled up next to me, taking the shape of a rabbit

 

Oh, Jin... I murmur, I won't leave you alone again, I promise. His warmth makes something ache inside of me as I bury my nose into his hair, sorrowful and empty like so many times before. It was almost peaceful to be in such a quiet state.

 

"He cared," Jin whispers as that pain within grows instantly. "He never showed it a lot, but I asked him... He really did care for you, (y/n)."

 

Maybe it would hurt less if he hadn't, I couldn't help but think as I screwed my eyes shut. My nose flared as I sucked in a breath, chest scalding. My insides were caving in--a spontaneous combustion. Perhaps I was dying? It sure felt like it when my insides were ripping a part.

 

Blinking through the blur that was my eyesight I focused on the horizon, but it seemed like the sea. Blue overlays the darkness beneath the surface and for a split second, I almost find myself lost in its cruel embrace again. My hair is coiling around my head like paper-thin snakes. They tickled my face as I stilled, relaxing into the suffocation that bound me.

 

It was only a memory.

 

Then why does it still hurt?

 

"Everything will be okay." My familiar's voice is hushed as he hugs my arm, his fur soft against my bruised arm. It takes me a moment to realize the white sleeve that had once covered those marks had been ripped away at some point during my struggle. Jin doesn't let go and I knew better than to think he would.

 

I tense in my seated position, lethargy catching up quickly. Everything's melting.

 

There's a growl and then nothing. I turned despite the gnawing fatigue in my body and take in the muddled figure behind me. There's a broken piece of stone beneath a boot and, then, there is a face. Pale, slender features and eyes alight in the dreary outlook that was today. My skin breaks out by the onslaught of needle pricks and I know it's just a trick of the light, or maybe another illusion, but I smile at him.

 

I think I've finally gone insane, I tell myself as I let gravity take hold of me viciously, falling into that pit of despair that pooled around me, seeping from my pores and into those who dared to stand beside me. They'd vanish eventually, poisoned by my dripping insanity.

 

There's mumbling and it barely reaches my ears and I lay motionless in the sickeningly realistic embrace that is his mirage. The earl's lips brush my ear, words fading away as I let the emptiness claim me.

 

I'll miss you, I think, terribly tired and done with everything.

 

Then everything falls and I happily fall with it.

 

<><><>

 

I'm such a cliffhanger girl, haha.

 

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

 

Who is your favorite character in season two and why?

 

Ciel. It's always Ciel, but for question's sake, it's between Luka and the triplets because they're cute and silly.


	23. 19

Arriving at the manor its owner found himself feeling distant within its spacious halls. He was a different man altogether and perhaps it knew. His arms laid by his sides, empty and cold without you in his captive embrace. Against his better judgment, he kept a close eye on your unconscious form, not caring that the servants found his contiguity towards you a bit unnerving.

 

It wasn't that they were afraid of him being so protective of you (they were thrilled that their young master held such care for their (y/n-chan). The workers were just merely concerned and confused as to where you had been all this time and why you were so beaten, so frail.

 

The rather unique family was whole again, that was a genuine fact, but now cracks littered the bond from all the time lost and pain that had been experienced.

 

As for Sebastian, he hadn't uttered a single word since you and the earl had returned. He only did as he was ordered and continued on with his chores. The other servants steered clear of him, knowing of his ill mood a mile away. There was also a relatively new air about the master and butler and anyone could see the bitterness in the ravenet's eyes.

 

Best to leave it alone, the usual three (as well as Tanaka in the background with his tea) decided.

 

~~~

 

 

It was daybreak when you awoke. You wouldn't have known had the one sliver of light creeping through the curtains been blocked. Luckily, someone had left them with the smallest amount of space to let the stream of sunlight slip through and warm the skin across your knuckles.

 

Only until you were able to see that string of light clearly enough did you finally take a moment to view your surroundings.

 

The first thing to grab your attention was the pile of white fur curled into your left side. Jin slept on soundly, his mind revealing peace when you tapped into it. With one thought the bond between you was muted. He would no longer be at risk for being disturbed by your muddled mind. Right now, you needed your space and you're sure he wouldn't mind while he was sleeping.

 

Swallowing lightly, you breathed a silent exhale at the familiar room. It was styled just as simply as the elegant Phantomhive manor it lied within. The window was your main focus as you studied the white line that held the rising sun behind it.

 

As you watched the break of dawn within the dark room, you allowed yourself to spread out mentally, taking in the forms that were around you. Excluding your white-haired knight, you felt two other presences nearby, both being something you did not wish to ponder over at that moment.

 

Casting aside your curiosity of the others that were or weren't there, you went still, observing just what damage you held physically. Nothing ached or burned and upon grazing your body beneath the unfamiliar gown.It must have been put on whilst you were unconscious. You found no evidence of stitches or newly placed scars. Only the ones that littered the back of your shoulders remained, a surprise considering all a certain blond had done to you.

 

Ignoring the nagging recollections trying to resurface (since part of you had come to terms with forgiving him), you inhaled, discovering just how much energy you had gained and found yourself completely replenished. You would have had to have been asleep for two, perhaps three days to heal so greatly. At that guess, you spotted a glass of unperturbed water on the bedside the table. Your dry throat made itself known as well as the sharp weight of blades that had yet to be removed.

 

Glancing at Jin, you listened to the muffled sound of nature outside before letting your talents take over, teleporting you to your feet beside the bed. You left your familiar in his comfortable spot, carefully moving the blankets where they took up the space that you no longer occupied beside him. Then, you turned toward the awaiting liquid.

 

Reaching out for the cup, you ignored the sight of your trembling hands and grasped the cool material, bringing the smooth rim to your chapped, bitten lips before gulping slowly as to not disturb the silver razors within. Once finished, you made your way over to the window, relishing in the sensation of soft carpet beneath your feet and the warm smell that came with the estate you resided in.

 

There were no thoughts of cleaning yourself up, though you seemed to have been bathed already. The idea made you uncomfortable but the image of redhead maid calmed what nerves had been triggered.

 

Outside, you thought simply, slipping your quivering fingers into the slit between the curtains. I want to feel the sun.

 

As your eyes were blinded by the rays of the glowing orb above you felt your surroundings fall away and the music of nature spill into your ears at full force. You flinched, then relaxed in the attention of the golden warmth miles and miles away. Your eyes slowly grew accustomed to the natural brightness of the world and there was peace.

 

A breath left you fluidly as you sat down on the outer rim of the fountain that rained crystal streams behind you. Fresh air was such a nice feeling and something you had once taken for granted. Although you'd have privileges to be outside, the atmosphere around your captive hell had always weighed down on you like a curse. Here, it urged you into comfort.

 

As if realizing it was being enjoyed the space around you shifted, a breeze caressing your face, sending freshly turned, ivory-tipped strands back in gratitude. It almost made you smile. Almost.

 

Blinking the distraction of the wind away, you focused on the horizon. Had you been used to the sight, you would have realized it was so faint and the sun was barely up. After what had felt like years of darkness and solitude you were just thankful for the light–the freedom.

 

As the sensation of prodding overcame you, your relaxation was cut short and fear was beginning to creep its way back into your head. Though, when a graceful warmth filled your chest–a feeling as if your insides would melt at its physical touch–that worry folded in on itself, retreating to its corner for another attempt in the future. You didn't need to turn to know who or what he was. In the grand scheme of things, you knew nothing could have ended so perfectly.

 

He was alive, yes. The terror that had passed would only be another scar to fade away for him, indeed. But from that day forward he would forever be stuck as the being he was ordered to be. And a demon was such an awful concept all on its own that you couldn't even begin to wonder what it was like to now be living as one.

 

"I've always hated mornings." His voice pooled around you; a vice for your heart. It was constricting and brought an ache, causing your muscles to tighten and have the need to move–to hold the one thing they, along with everything else you had to offer, had desired this entire time.

 

"Another day to live, one step closer to my goal, yet faced with a thousand more obstacles. Some are easy; the majority are difficult...." He drifted off and you sensed his gaze on you. It took every ounce of your being not to look at him.

 

"You, however, weren't even close to a stray thought of what could have occurred that day."

 

Moisture enveloped your eyes and the blades in your throat tightened as you held back the burn of oncoming tears. You screwed your eyes shut; a darkened dam to withstand the onslaught of emotion.

 

"I tried to overcome you, thinking that while some things were fine as they were they could never stay that way. As rich as I am, I couldn't afford you or your kindness.Upon realizing that, the sting of it was so painful—I couldn't bear the thought of losing you." He took a breath as you forced yourself to not sniffle. "So, instead, I selfishly allowed you to be the one to suffer the loss of me and whatever I could have been to you."

 

The water accumulated behind your eyelids and whatever strength you'd thought you had left vanished into thin air. The dam broke, overcome by bitter drops of liquid that streamed from the corner of your eyes. They clung to your eyelashes before rolling down your cheeks, dripping from your trembling chin like salted rain. 

 

Your curled fists tangled into your nightgown on your lap, soaking in your fractured pieces of shield. With your jaw clenched, you snuffed pitifully, keeping broken sobs inside wilted lungs.

 

"Leaving you behind was a mistake, and I have made so many mistakes that I am a sin itself." His words echoed as the subtle touch of his knuckles ghosted over your jaw, not even trying to lift your bowed head. "You followed me down this crumbling path I created and took on the burdens I couldn't, and I cannot even begin to thank you or repay you for it."

 

His thumb wiped at your skin, its matching partner falling on the other side of your face symmetrically. "But nothing will stop me from trying and nothing will ever steal you away from me again as I am unable to imagine a world without you in it."

 

Silent sobs racked through your body and you cupped your hands over your mouth out of sheer embarrassment as you leaned forward, falling into the cursed child of Phantomhive's embrace. His touch was that of a demon as well as a friend, and the wall you'd tried so hard to keep up shattered. You were forced to realize that yes, he was here, and yes, he still cared for you.

 

You had to accept that your story was not even close to an ending and that while it would be a pain to get back on your feet you had to.

 

Because God did you love this boy.

 

And what would your life be without Ciel Phantomhive? 

 

<><><>

 

Finally back together for good! But you're in need of some serious healing, not to mention you still have blades to deal with.

 

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

 

What sense would you miss the most? And if you've already lost one, I apologize and instead ask what would you do if you had one day with it returned?

 

I would miss my sight just as much as I would miss my hearing. I love to watch movies and read the words I write--I love editing and colors. I also love hearing different ranges of voices and losing myself in music. I'd missed either of them a bunch.


	24. 27 DAYS LEFT FOR FANART

I still need some art for the video I’m making for MtM so if you have any art laying around THROW IT AT ME.

 

Also, 27 DAYS LEFT UNTIL I READ THE LAST CHAPTER ON DISCORD.

 

Y’all ever wondered what I sound like? Now you get to hear me read to you!!! What a wonder (lol).


	25. 20

A week had passed and while you wish it had all been a breeze now that you were home safely, you knew you hadn't made a dent in healing the mental wounds left behind from being taken prisoner.

 

It had all started out relatively fine. You weren't exactly ready for a group hug from four household helpers on your first day of waking up, but the relief that they were all fine and well drowned out the discomfort of human touch enough for you to return their loving embrace back and muster an agonizingly weak smile.

 

That day you'd mostly been in the presence of Ciel, allowing him to answer any questions you had during his disappearance as well as what had been the final conclusion of Alois and everyone else. It was painful to hear it all; however, you needed reassurance that everything from that point in time had been dealt with.

 

On the bright side, Sebastian was still around.

 

Although, on the downside, he was still around.

 

You really didn't know how to feel about that. You couldn't find it in yourself to hate him no matter how much you wanted to, but no iota of you trusted him. When he was in the same room as you, Ciel would sense it and–if he wasn't already with you–come to send him away if you weren't able to stand the sight of him.

 

Right now he brought back too many awful memories for you to handle, so it would be best for the both of you to remain separated. When he stopped resembling the monster of all your nightmares at Trancy's and you could finally escape the sense that he was always there, watching you, perhaps you could find it in yourself to give him a second chance.

 

At the moment, it was no mystery that the ravenet was bitter over the fact he didn't get his dinner. You could see the rage behind his slanted eyes and slim smile, but none of it seemed to be directed towards you. If anything, the butler just seemed oddly observant. Though, once you realized just why he found you so interesting, Ciel was ordering him to stay out of your business as well as his.

 

You couldn't blame the man for prying. It was an odd conspiracy: a demon garnering a piece of a witch's soul within him without it completely ruining either party. Right now, however, he would have to allow you a great amount of space until you were ready to overcome the odd relationship you two shared.

 

Opening your eyes, you froze, realizing you were in the kitchen. A flickering flame atop the candle you’d brought with you greeted your return to the world around you.

 

You glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, a bit lost on the time.

 

Three in the morning? You squinted and frowned, shaking your head. Looking down at the counter you stood against, you wondered when you had started making yourself a cup of tea. The pot was still on the stove, but a single porcelain cup stared up at you with its dizzying details, empty.

 

Reaching for the object with both hands, your eyebrows furrowed. The horrible quivering of your hands didn’t go unnoticed. Shutting your eyes for a moment, you took a deep, calming breath and grabbed the glass carefully.

 

It wasn't even off the counter and it was bickering like the glass version of a rattle snake.

 

Letting go with a sharp withdrawal of your hands, you stepped back as the cup followed after your touch, falling to the floor. You reached for it, but your body was too slow—too damaged. The sound of shattering had you cupping your hands over your face in despair.

 

What were you if you couldn't even handle making yourself a drink? Certainly not sane, or normal for that matter.

 

Who were you kidding? There was no hint of normalcy in the disarray you called your life.

 

Quickly kneeling down to clean up the mess you made, your fingers stretched for the first piece of the broken glass. A blur of movement had you freezing up in fear as a pale hand wrapped around your wrist. You jerked your head up and flinched back at the image of golden eyes, broiling with hidden rage–but no. You shook your head, clumsily shifting in your spot as you fought for sanity.

 

Because it wasn't him and it never would be.

 

Though, it still hurt when you discerned the earl’s mien in the low light of the candle.

 

Why can't I tell the difference anymore? Your thoughts screamed as you bowed your head in shame.

 

"(Y/n)," he whispered as your bottom lip quivered, "it's alright."

 

You shook your head, not finding enough strength to speak because you were tired of his strained expression–his discomfort at the sight of your blood. It was only a matter of time before the blades would be taken out, he'd promised. The plan was to have Sebastian do it, but seeing as you had trust issues with him it was futile. It didn’t help that Ciel refused to call upon the doctors of this time and age to treat you. Jin had given him the bright idea to take you back to your time and seek medical assistance there. Smile would know what he was doing and he was bound to know others that could help as well.

 

Rest first, future later, the earl had decided. No ifs, buts, or maybes.

 

"I told you to come get me if you couldn't sleep," he spoke softly, helping you to your feet as your shaking died down.

 

Keeping your eyes on the shattered pieces on the floor, you shrugged helplessly. His tired sigh caused guilt to flood your chest. You met his gaze, eyes apologetic.

 

"There's no need to apologize," he responded, looking over at the clock. It seemed he wasn’t aware of the time either.

 

As he was distracted, you tried to leave his grasp to look for the broom. He stopped you before you were out of arm's reach. "Come along, Sebastian will tend to it. You need to rest."

 

At that statement that had been repeated so many times in the passed week, you crossed your arms, feeling irritated over the fact he wouldn't let you lift a finger. Maybe you weren’t what you used to be, but it still felt awful just sitting around doing absolutely nothing.

 

He smirked at your obvious annoyance and offered a hand, curling his fingers towards him a few times for emphasis. Sighing lightly, you place your palm against his, warmth seizing your being as his fingers curled around your knuckles gently in reply. Your body involuntarily flinched, unused to it.

 

Soon enough, you trailed beside him, letting him lead you back up to the guest room you'd been placed since your return.

 

He opened the door to the pitch black space where Jin resided? but your mind played tricks once more and the scent of rusting chains and aged blood made you dig your heels into the floor of the hallway, bracing against the harsh tugging of Alois as he berated you for punishment.

 

Stop stop stop—

 

Soft hands held you in place as reality ripped through the horrific backlashes and you sucked in a choked breath, blinking away tears. Ciel held your upper arms in a loose grip.

 

"You're safe, it's alright," he told you, sapphire eye drowning in concern as he rested his forehead against yours.

 

You stepped into his embrace, gritting your teeth as you did your best not to break down again, clutching at his night shirt desperately. He held you tightly as he often did these days, whispering soothing words into your ear. He was the only one capable of pacifying you so efficiently.

 

Once your form relaxed against him, the navyet‘s lips brushed the top of your head. He asked, "Would you be alright with staying with me tonight?"

 

You were silent as you had been for many days now but nodded against his shoulder, movements sluggish as you parted from his chest. Ciel kept pace with you as your feet echoed softly down the hallway. Glancing down, you saw that next to your naked feet laid his own.

 

Did he rush down because of me? You wondered, (e/c) eyes guiltily shifting to the side that he did not occupy.

 

Clutching your night shawl closer to your form, you felt a warm arm hover just behind your back, not daring to touch you. An ache pulsed through your being at his caution. He knew just how fragile you had become. As the earl paused in his steps, he opened the door to his bedroom for you like a true gentleman. He was rarely anything else.

 

"After you.” He gestured, a soothing glint in his eyes, even in the stained one. You met that gaze before staring into his dimly lit room. His curtains were open allowing moonlight to filter in. It wasn't a pressuring black and that's all that mattered.

 

Stepping inside, you felt a shift in temperatures. It was considerably warmer within his chamber and like so long ago the air itself seemed richer. Nothing had changed since you'd last been in it and that brought a tinge of comfort if only for familiarity.

 

The door click shut behind you, causing a moment of wariness before you started towards the bed, comforter calling to you. Sleep seemed to be an option finally and it didn't take long to slip under the covers. Ciel followed suit, waiting until you were comfortable before getting in himself. He situated his body on the left side of the bed while you watch from right, a fair amount of distance between your forms.

 

It is a big bed, you observed tiredly. Blinking, you yawned into your hand, eyes shutting for a moment. When you opened them, you found the young master staring. Your focus darted away, not used to this scene.

 

"Why is it," he began, voice soft, "that every time we part from one another you've changed?"

 

Your fingers dig into the blankets, hurt pooling in your chest. I didn't want to change. Your eyes watered as you closed them.

 

"(Y/n)," he crooned, hand sliding towards your face. He froze before his pale skin came into contact with your pained expression. You saw his own agony, pushed below layers of respect. He wanted so desperately for things to return to what they once were. He craved your smile and how one word from your lips could brighten his dreary days. He desired your comfort and for you to not fear anyone, especially him.

 

"You're home," he breathed, telling himself more than you, "but then, why do you feel so far away?"

 

A tear escaped as your quivering hands appeared from under the sheets to cling onto his own. Your teeth grit behind tight lips, a sob forced to stay silent in order for peace to remain. What little of it anyway.

 

'I'm sorry' you mouthed, holding his hand for dear life as you lean your forehead against the them in apology.

 

"Don't," Ciel whispered, caressing your cold fingers. "You're the last person who should be sorry after this hell."

 

Even so, your guilt lied at his feet, begging for mercy. There was nothing more you wanted than to be the girl he remembered, but she was gone, pushed into the deepest, darkest pit that lied within you.

 

"I'll fix everything," your earl vowed, pulling your hands to his chest. This caused you to look ahead, drowning in the ferocity that was his gaze. "No one will come near you until you're ready, those infernal blades will be taken care of, and you will be safe here with me.” His breath ghosted over your face as he reached out. His knuckles barely caressed the edge of your jaw leaving sparks in their wake. "I won't allow anything to separate us again, alright?"

 

All you could do was nod. There was a glimmer of hope, but it laid flat, awaiting to be crushed so that it wouldn’t hurt as much as the last few instances.

 

"Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here," he respired and you scoot closer, leaving behind your fear to bury yourself in his embrace. Because he hasn't changed. Not really.

 

<><><>

 

You guys can probably see how much you've suffered and all the things you struggle to get through. Once again, you have to get used to people's touch and trusting others. You still have issues with speaking and messing anything up. You will get better, though, I promise.

 

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

 

What are your favorite video games?

 

Abzu, The Last of Us, Bioshock, The Walking Dead Game, and many others.


	26. Chapter 26

_(Check out this cool banner from_ **_lovmula_ ** _on Instagram! Another edit of theirs will be at the end of the chapter! Thanks again!)_

Jin was the first to leap back to the future, wanting nothing to be in the way of your recovery. He told you he would pass on all the information to Smile and that he'd leave Ciel to any explanations.

 _He'll be angry no doubt, so be careful_ , you warned as he prepared to fall.

"I'm more worried about Diana, but I will be," he replied, hugging you one last time before he departed. When he disappeared you were left on your own in the garden, the slight sound of running water somewhere behind you from the fountain.

Sighing through your nose, you wandered aimlessly, settling down at the marble railing that lied on the outer rim of the manor. The view was breathtaking but your mind grew tangled, leaving you in a daze. It was lonely.

(E/c) irises focused on the distance, finding solace in the sights, the sounds of nature. It didn't last long as fire creeped from the corners of your eyes. The heat scorching and deadly. Your lips trembled at the old wounds, reopening as you sunk to your knees. Weak hands gripped onto the wide rails, allowing your arms to stay above your head. You just had to stay calm. It was just your imagination. You shifted your position and it triggered the memories of kneeling, chained and humiliated.

 _Go away_! You screamed silently, throat tightened into a cruel state. Your breath became labored and the nightmare pressed onto you at all sides, forcing you on all fours. Then, hands were cradling the sides of your face. You sobbed into a lean chest, rattling in place like a human earthquake.

"Make it stop," you pleaded, wheezing out a breathless, but pained voice. "It won't leave me alone..."

"It can't hurt you," Ciel assured, knowing not what you spoke of but trying to soothe you in any way he could. The sound of your voice pained him after going so long without hearing it.

"It goes away when you're here. It's scared of you," you rambled nonsense, whimpering as a cough slipped from your lips, burning your tongue. He hushed you gently, holding you close. One eye stared into the distance, the other covered by a signature patch--you're favorite actually.

"Everything's alright," he warranted, combing his fingers through your hair. "You're safe with me."

 _You always will be_ , he thinks.

**~~~**

You're well rested when the day comes to travel back to Smile. Jin ensured your safety with him and that he was awaiting your arrival. Ciel was the one who seemed distrustful on the entire subject.

"If only doctors at this time weren't such idiots," he'd complained.

"Smile knows a doctor, she's a friend of Diana's, actually," Jin had explained. You'd asked about the latter, worried for your family. He hadn't gotten much information on her, only that Smile would check in on the matter and tell you everything once you were back in good health. "But you know your aunt, she's a big explorer," your familiar comforted, but you still felt unsure. She was so protective, so why had she suddenly left you in such a bad predicament without so much as a drop in?

"Everything will be fine," your navyet told you.

You hoped what he said was true. But now was the day to leave the manor and the usual three, Tanaka, and Sebastian were there to wish you all a nice trip. It seemed a bit odd that the butler wouldn't be joining you, but Ciel seemed confident in being your only escort, so you wouldn't pester his decision.

Jin, having just returned, rode back with you for emotional support. He reminded you the steps of time travel, allowing you and the earl to land safely in the future London. Your white haired companion lead you to the meeting point, Ciel attached to your hip as you followed behind.

It was so surreal to see cars and modern civilization again, but it all flooded by when you saw your demon's figure, leaning against the side of a building patiently. Blue eyes fell onto your form and you couldn't take another step. It seemed too wide a gap, the space between you and your childhood friend. There were no greetings or hugs, just silence as he walked over, giving a soft nod.

The flash of disappointment in his stare broke your very spirit.

Blurs zoomed by and the consistent chatter of conversations wrapped around your head like a vice. Smile's tall form came in and out of focus in front of you as well as Ciel's on your right. The heat of the sun was growing excruciating and nausea had begun to take over.

 _Can't breathe_ , you thought, desperation clawing at your heart. _I can't breathe_.

Ink bled from the edges of your sight and you vaguely remember the sensation of being weightless before everything was ripped away.

**~~~**

She had pressure building in every portion of her body and the doctor could sense it as soon as Smile bright her in, body limp in his arms. The woman was aged, gray peeking from her maple locks if you really took the time to look. She had a fire in her eyes but a calming disposition that left no judgment from either of the boys.

The earl and childhood friend were left to wait outside as the surgery began. Jin paced the halls, shifting into a different animal every other minute. It didn't help that he felt the heavy air between the two gentlemen with him.

**~~~**

When you awoke you found your hand tingling from the lack of blood flow. The source was your familiar's tight grip.

"(Y/n)!" He squeaked, gold eyes wide with worry. Your own blinked in confusion before they widened in realization. "You just woke up from your surgery. The blades are out."

You gasped, relief flooding you when the air doesn't catch in your throat. Reaching for your neck you found cloth meeting your fingertips and sighed, relishing in the freedom, but there were wires now, climbing up your arms and wrists.

 _How long?_  You asked.

"You've been out all night. The doctor thought it would be best since your healing abilities are faster when you're asleep."

_She knows?_

Jin nods. "Yeah, Diana trusted her enough. I need to go get the doctor, so stay here." He lets go of your arm to jump out of his chair.

_Wait! Where's—_

"Around!" He interjected over his shoulder, racing out of the room. Sitting back against your pillows, you took in the sight of what you assumed was a hospital room. It was oddly clean and white, but it made sense for the location.

Before you could adjust to your surroundings a woman walked in, features softening at the sight of you. Your heartbeat picked up and a monitor next to you beeps, scaring you half to death.

"It's alright," the woman said, voice low and leveled. "I'm your doctor, Mavis Williams, nice to meet you," she introduced, holding a honey-skinned hand out for you to shake. You do so, hesitantly. "I knew your aunt--your mother, too," she continued, piquing your interest. "You're spitting image of her--of them both."

Part of you wondered how you should feel about that.

"I've run your diagnostics and there are a great many things to go over, but let's check on your stitches shall we?" she hummed, taking up residence on your left and she proceeded to unwrap the bandage around your neck.

You tensed at her close proximity, monitor picking up speed, but she soothes you with random topics, keeping your head busy as she looked over your throat.

"The threads have already been pushed out of your skin, so healing has taken place over the course of the night, but it's still delicate around your vocal chords. Being a witch can be lucky sometimes, yeah?"

"Will she be able to talk?" Jin's voice sprouted from the doorway and you looked to him, wondering the same thing.

"Now? Perhaps, but it will be rough and maybe a bit uncomfortable. I suggest resting for another few days just to make sure."

"Good," he murmured, kicking at the floor as his eyes drooped with exhaustion.

"Go get some sleep, Jin. I need to talk to her about some other things."

"What other things? Is she hurt?" he hurried to reply, eyes wide.

"No, these aren't physical wounds, I'm afraid, but she will be fine."

 _Go sleep,_  you urged him.

"Mm...Okay, but only for a little while, alright?" he told you and with a nod in response he headed out, shutting the door behind him. Your eyes fell on the doctor.

' _What else?'_ You mouthed slowly and she frowned, grabbing a nearby clipboard before sitting down in a chair next to you.

"You've been through a series of traumatic events and that is never a healthy case," she began. "The human mind has a strange way of healing itself, but witches have a somewhat different system than humans. I'm sure you know of a few instances?"

You nod, solemnly.

"PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, will play a major part in your life now. You will be sensitive to some things and numb to others. You also have issues that deal with physical contact from what I've heard from your friends, that makes sense from what you've been through," she ensured.

You scowled. " _How much did they tell you_?'

She squinted and handed you a pen and some paper on her clipboard. You write the question in the most horrible handwriting you've ever seen.

"Enough," she stated once she had read your chicken scratch.

' _What can I do to fix it?'_

"It's not an easy process, unfortunately, and there is no true way of fixing it." Mavis sighed, scribbling a few notes down when her clipboard was back in her possession. "Medication, relaxation techniques, practicing with stressful situations, it's a long list and it doesn't always lead to recovery."

Your shoulders sunk at the truth before you. Nothing was ever easy for you.

"But you're a strong girl who has faced things I can't even begin to imagine," the doctor said. "I know you can get through this, especially since you have friends to support you."

A nod is given.

At your name, your watery irises connected with her brown ones. "Don't lose hope," she ordered sternly.

"When has it ever helped me?" you spat right back at her, shock enveloping you at your rugged voice. You cupped a hand over your mouth, eyes lowering to your lap.

_It didn't hurt..._

"Keep that attitude up and you'll end up like your mother."

Your eyes flashed as you leaned forward, anger radiating from your form.

"You don't know anything," you whispered.

"Don't I?" she hummed, playful. "Your birthday is (b/d) and you've lived in (home town) for twelve years. Your mother's sister is a rare type of witch—a gene that's passed down to you. Your mother killed herself because of her abusive husband, and your brother is mentally unstable. Shall I go on?"

You're silent.

"I've also been informed of your panic attacks, abuse, as well as other things you probably wish to be kept a secret. I'm sorry to be such a stranger, we were never introduced properly. But I helped your mother bring you into this world."

"You did?" Your voice wavered.

"I did, indeed," she confirmed. "Now, why don't we start over? I'd like to get to know my friend's daughter after all these years on good terms."

"You already summed everything up," you muttered darkly.

"Now I know for a fact that isn't true."

"Can you tell me about my mother?" you asked, albeit hesitantly. "Before I was born?"

"If you'll tell me about yourself I'll tell you everything I know," she promised.

"Perhaps another day," a baritone voice responded from the door. You jerk at the sudden presence of Smile and looked away when his eyes met yours. "She needs more rest, wouldn't you agree?"

"I would," Mavis nodded, but her tone seemed colder, "but she needs to be informed about--"

"I will do so after her recovery," the ravenet replied with a tight frown in place. "Please, doctor."

She sighed, muttering under her breath before getting to her feet. Looking down at you, she offered a kind smile.

"I'll go and fetch your clothes and medication, and then I'll give you a rundown of what needs to be taken and when, alright?"

You nodded in agreement. Watching her leave your heart struggled to stay calm as your demon closed the door behind him. Your nerves spiked when he approached your bed and part of you wanted to run while the other just wanted to break down into a sobbing mess.

The man before you deserved multiple apologies and the truth, but you didn't have the energy.

"I'm not angry with you," he said softly, "or disappointed," he added when you wince. "I'm upset with myself and not being the responsible guardian you needed--"

"Don't," you choked out, shoulders shaking. "Don't blame yourself and don't blame Ciel--I know you two aren't fond of each other, especially after all of this."

"He is as much at fault as I--"

"No one is," you enforced. "I've come to terms that bad things happen and that fate is just  _cruel_." When he began to speak you cut him off saying, "There are multiple dimensions. You know that, don't you?"

The suppressed noises from outside were almost haunting.

"There is a place where I never met any of you," you swallowed, "or I died before getting the chance." (E/c) eyes disappeared as you shut them, a deep breath taken. "I'm still here, I know that... I'm trying, Smile, I'm trying _so hard_  to pick up all the pieces and be who I was before. It's not impossible. I just need..."

His blue eyes bore into yours as you opened your own. Your voice cracked a few times during your small speech but overall it went well.

"I just need time and space," you finally whispered.

"From me?" he replied and your chest tightened as he looked away, eyes vacant. "This all began here, in this timeline, but it all worsened with him."

"Ciel is--"

"I know what he is to you, I'm not blind," he said, voice clipped. "But just because you care for him doesn't mean I have to, (y/n). I want you to be happy and if he makes you so, then I will leave it at that."

"You make me happy, too," you breathed, "but I've made myself a home there--"

"I'm not asking you to pick," he said before kneeling at your bedside. "I promised to look after you and when you are here I shall do just that. Until you send me away I will always be here."

"Promise?" you voice crumbled and he shut his eyes with an amused huff as he raised one gloved hand, pinky outstretched.

"I promise," he assured as you wrapped your own pinky around his.

**~~~**

The earl stayed within Mavis's office, gaze fogged as he looked out the lone window on the right wall. Jin laid asleep at his feet, canine form blindingly bright against the sunlight that fell over him.

Ciel felt you wandering closer, half of your soul calling out to the piece within him. It was a bittersweet thing, sharing yourself, or so he assumed.

Leaning back against the chair he occupied, he rested his chin on cold knuckles, eyes gradually falling closed as he basked in your aura. Even from a distance, you radiated light, warm and soft like the sun itself. He had the ability to rest thanks to you and nearly did so when the click of the door echoed. Raising his chin from its idle position, his cerulean sight befell you, eyebrows rising hopefully.

Watching his expression, you couldn't help but relax, tilting your head unconsciously as you did so.

"I was wondering where you were," you finally spoke and his breath caught at sheer sound of it. Opening your eyes at his surprise, you place your hands behind your back, standing straight. The sunlight grew in brightness filling the room with an ethereal glow as tranquility took hold.

"Let's go home."

.

.

.

**End of Book Two.**

❤️💙❤️

**< ><><>**

I know what you're thinking. That's it? That's the satisfying ending you mentioned a few chapters ago? Where's the BIG KISS? The healing fluff we deserve after over 100 chapters of PaIn and suFfErINg? And also, WHY THE HECK DID YOU ADD A NEW CHARACTER ALL OF A SUDDEN. Like, what's up with that?

All I have to say is I never said the last sentence was going to be in  ** _this_**  book.

So, yeah.

I hope you guys will be able to give me  _one last chance_ in the next and final book in this series.

In short:  **YES, THERE WILL BE ANOTHER BOOK. THIS IS A TRILOGY.**

*On another note, the video for this book's fanart will be released at a later date I'm still working on it and you can blame life for that.

♚ Q U E S T I O N (S) O F T H E W E E K ♚

**What was your favorite part of the sequel?**

My favorite part was being able to write all the characters from season two. Alois was difficult as well as Claude, but it felt good to work with such emotional and traumatic characters besides that of our earl and, of course, you, the reader

**What questions do you have about the upcoming book?**

I'll be posting one last chapter here with one of the characters from the series answering them! It'll be a lot like my actor scenario at the end of YtS with the talk show, so be sure to ask anything you want (that doesn't mean you'll get any spoilers tho)!

Vote for the character you want to answer them! Comment on the name below to vote!

Jin.

Sebastian.

Grell.

Ciel.


	27. MtM Outtakes

**CH. 10: In Which (Y/n) Isn't In the Fight**

Upon entering the balcony with a tray of tea, I froze upon seeing another guest had joined the party of two. Frowning in distaste, I let my neutral mask fall into place as I approached the navy haired earl first. With practiced movements, I handed him his cup, it filled nearly to the brim with warm tea.

"Thank you."

My throat tightened at his voice and the clash of weapons rang out soon after. Shutting my eyes, I turned to the perverted blonde as he leaned forward in his seat. It had been a fair amount of time since he last visited, but it a million years could pass and still wouldn't be long enough.

"Daggers, spears, firearms... Three people attack at once, making good use of each weapon! However--Ah~, my dove! What a pleasure it is to see your beautiful sights once more!"

If someone's mood could worsen ten times in a matter of two seconds it would be mine, no questions asked. Handing the gushing man a tea plate, he howled in delight, kissing my hand as I grimaced and hurried to tend to His Highness.

As he sipped his tea, he scowled in distaste, sticking out his cursed tongue. "Earl Grey? How could we serve such trash?" he hissed quietly as he turned the cup over, letting the contents spill on the ground next to him. "Oh, what luck! (Y/n) fix me another glass."

I bowed, taking his teacup from him. His hand grabbed my wrist and before I could pull away he whispered, "Fix a better tea this time or I'll throw you into the fight along with Claude. He won't hesitate in stabbing you if you get in his way."

Tossing my hand from his grip, he ignored as I stumbled back. I winced at the burning sensation in my spine, my wounds from my last punishment disturbed from so much movement.

Hurrying back to the kitchen, I grabbed another flavor of tea and fixed it wondering why I had gone for the Earl Grey in the first place. I hadn't thought it would matter.

Just as I was fixing the beverage, the clock tower bellowed in the distance and soon the doors to the kitchen opened to reveal Sebastian and Claude. I froze at the sight of them.

"We'll be moving some utensils to the battlefield. Return to His Highness." Claude ordered as I grabbed the filled glass and escaped out into the hall.

With a small exhale, I glanced back into the room and saw Sebastian's keen gaze on me. I hesitated at his observing and blinked before hurriedly leaving the scene.

Arriving back on the balcony, I bowed while offering Alois his fresh tea. He had no complaints as he sipped it watching the demons below construct a kitchen outdoors. I stayed put behind the his chair, watching as the butlers (now dressed in cooking clothes) started on the snacks for their masters most likely.

My eyes widened at the sight of the triplets walking in formation due to the spear piercing all of their heads. Hannah was nowhere to be found.

During my search for her I spotted sudden movement and turned my gaze back on the butlers. I frowned at their childish food battle, the ingredients creating piles behind each. However, soon enough, I realized they were building statues out of their cuisine.

 _They sure are something_. I thought with a roll of my eyes.

"Useless entertainment."

I couldn't have agree with the Earl, Phantomhive more.

~~~

Hannah returned as the earls were seated at the long table brought out for their afternoon snacks. The day was quite sunny and warm, something I rarely got to experience being forced to stay put in the manor most of the time.

I soaked in the sun, listening to the butlers as they explained their creations, the weird blonde guy freaking out over both dishes. At the end of the small break, the navy earl eyed the strange man as he ran away, something about "picking flowers" or what not.

"What's with that man?"

 _Oh, so you notice it, too_? _No one seems to pay him any attention_... Maybe this boy and I more in common than I thought. I craved to remember the story between us, but so far nothing came to mind.

As the servants tended to taking the table and plates away, I stopped feeling as if someone was staring at me. Glancing around at the small group I saw no one's eyes anywhere near my spot. Ciel and Alois were returning to the balcony, their backs turned towards me, so who...?

My eyes fell on a single form out in the grass, just in front of a hedge.

 _Is that a_... I squinted, _Is that a rabbit?_

Before I could deem it as one it ran off, retreating into the bushes. Pursing my lips I grabbed the plates of the earl's and made my way back to the kitchen to wash them.

~~~

This was a long battle indeed. By the time everything was put up and the giant chessboard was cleared once more it was getting darker, the sun falling behind the colorful clouds. As Sebastian and Claude faced one another, Hannah lying to his left, I wondered who would win.

Just as I was beginning to fall victim to my mind once more I noticed more movement. My body seized up at the sight of Claude's hand retreating down Hannah's throat. From my spot I saw something large be pulled from her and the sight of disgusting amounts of saliva made me force myself not heave. Alois made a disgusted noise, sticking his tongue out for the second time today.

Turning my gaze to the fellow earl I saw he stared in shock as well.

"That is...a sword?" He muttered.

"Only the finest, I assume, if Claude is using it." Alois hummed leaning back in his chair.

Luckily the weird guest had run off somewhere, if he was here he'd probably be screaming his head off about quality or what not.

_You'd think a human would be terrified of stuff like this. Maybe it's just the era...?_

My thoughts were cut short as the battle began once more. From here it really did look like a dance between the two demons, dressed clad in black with an emerald sword that swung between them.

Blinking I noticed Alois had made his way over to Ciel's seat, resting his left arm along the back as he leaned towards the earl. He said something, but something shifted behind me causing my focus to wander. Something white flashed down the hall inside the manor.

Glancing back at the two boys as their quiet voices filled the silence I decided to leave. If they noticed my absence than that would be that. Alois had already promised to kill me today, so really, how could it get any worse?

**(Goes into CH. 11 as well)**

Stepping back inside I saw the bright blob of ivory turn a corner. The rabbit came to mind and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It couldn't be that, how would it have gotten in? Hurrying down the hall winced as my steps movements traveled up to my aching spine. Slowing down I stopped short staring down at the end of the hall.

 _How did you get in here?_ I wondered as the rabbit tilted it's head at me, sniffing at the air. Giving a sigh I walked forward, being careful of my speed. Crouching down a few feet from the animal I held a hand out. My tongue licked behind parted lips.

 _Come here_ , I beckoned. _If I don't get you out of here, Claude might cook you_. When the rabbit moved forward I took in it's beautiful fur, pure white as sow. It eyes, however, were a rather strange color. I'd never heard of a rabbit with gold eyes before. This color was far different from the demon's eyes I'd been faced with. They were much more luminous in the dark light of day and seemed soft.

It's nose twitched as it hopped forward hesitantly, stopping just as it was about to touch my fingertips. Biting my lip I leaned forward to touch the creature, it seemed pretty calm for coming from the wild. I winced when it's head came into contact with my palm and relaxed as it rubbed up against me.

 _You're so happy to be pet, did you have an owner_? I wondered leaning forward and petting it smoothly. My hands froze however as something shifted inside of me. A puff of breath escaped me as the feeling of a wall met my head. I stumbled back onto the carpet grabbing my head as I gritted my teeth in pain.

**_"Jin."_ **

**_"I've been by your side ever since you were in a car with Smile, that's his name right? I hear you say it all the time, or think since we speak through our minds."_ **

**_"It doesn't matter. You cant hide things like this from me, i'm going to see death and gore at some point in our long lives. All i have to do is stop thinking about it, it's not that hard... There's nothing you could have done."_ **

**_"I can't just live without you! You're mine, you're me, y-you're apart of me! I don't want this to happen. You're the only one I love, you're like my sister!"_ **

**_"I'm not leaving her behind, and she is nowhere near my pawn..."_ **

**_"I wanted you to move forward with your life, but there was also the worry of what exactly hurt you. I have been trying to understand you since the minute your eyes met mine, and there are still many things I do not know..."_ **

**_"None of it is a mistake. If I had not made a contract with a demon I would have died, just like my parents. I would not have had the privilege of meeting you."_ **

_...It hurts!_ I screamed curling in on myself. Too many voices some high, some low, and colors bursting behind my eyelids. Everything came slamming into me and I could only watch as all the scenes played out.

A raging storm.

A promise.

Four servants.

A demon butler.

One little white haired boy.

And a boy that was all too familiar.

It was all too much for my to take in. I couldn't breathe. All the pain, all the joy, everything was forming one massive headache as I took a breath.

_These are my memories._

**_"Thank you again, uh, may I know your full name?"_ **

**_"You don't know who I am?"_ **

He reminded me of a dog, a vicious dog, the day we met.

**_"I am Ciel Phantomhive of Funtom products."_ **

And his name was beautiful.

 _Ciel_...

The rare smiles, humorous reactions, the boy who made me smile.

"Ciel..." I choked on my pain, ignoring it as I stared at the ceiling of the cursed estate I had been forced to stay at. It wall all because of this prison. They'd kidnapped me, tested on my brain. They made me forget everything. Even Smile.

"(Y/n)?"

My eyes filled with tears as I turned my eyes on the figure next to me. His wide, golden eyes were worried and scared, his hair as shaggy as I remembered. He looked so much older. I could feel him, he thought I didn't remember him, he was guilty because he let them take me.

 _No_ , I thought as his form flinched. _I'm the one who didn't protect you... My sweet Jin._

His eyes watered as he sniffed, bowing his head as he cried grabbing onto me as I laid in a heap, recovering from my sudden memory relapse. I shushed him running my hand through his hair as I sat up, wincing. He felt it and he cried harder. The last I could recall my little familiar I'd written him off as dead. I'd seen his still form lying in a bloody mess.

That's when the entire nightmare began. I'd been captured for months, lost to the world around me.

I froze as I heard the clang of metal somewhere behind me.

 _Ciel_.

"(Y/n)!" Jin screamed as I flinched, my head one step closer to ripping itself apart with all the information suddenly crammed into it. "He didn't die! I don't know why, but they came back and you were gone and--"

A yell sounded and my heart skipped a beat.

_We have to go._

Rage tore through me like a hurricane as I got to my feet running down the halls to find one of the earls. That bastard, that fucking brat had ripped everything away from me. He made me fear using my powers, he made me question my strength, he stole everything from me!

 _Well_ , I gritted my teeth as my eyes darkened, _it's time to return the favor._

Jin ran beside me, now in the form of a wolf. My feet pounded against the carpet as I pushed off corners of the mansion and rockets down halls. Where were they? I could hear the sounds of swords meeting and slicing through the air as crazed laughter and muffled taunts were mumbled.

_Almost there._

Seeing the end of the hall that opened out into the library I slammed into the railing, curling over the wooden beam as I panted, sweat dripping down the side of my face as I stared dead ahead. I spotted the devil, he was smiling shifting while swinging that sword around. My hand gripping the railing began to smoke as my powers bubbled to life. I felt them roar inside of me, like a lion about to be set free. At the sound of struggle my (e/c) eyes flickered to the form Alois stood up against.

My heart pulsed in recognition as I straightened.

 _Ciel_...

He hadn't noticed me either and I cried in relief at the sight of him. He was alive and so was I. Looking down at Jin I saw him staring up at me in horror.

"You can't speak..."

I froze realizing why I hadn't been attached to him this whole time.

 _I broke our bond_ , I remembered. _I_ _knew, if somehow you were alive, you were going to feel the pain inflicted on me. So I broke it_. That's why I couldn't hear him, feel him and from doing so he my memories for me. That's why I suddenly gained back my consciousness, because he mended the bond. My little healer.

 _We have to get out of here_. I turned to alert Ciel, not caring if I lost my voice once more, but I was cut off as I saw him pinned, his sword against Alois's. Everything went silent as the blonde grabbed his neck and pushed him over the railing.

"C I E L !"

My vocal chords ripped and I felt the blades slice into the insides of my throat as I screamed. The earl looked back in mid fall having heard me before he hit the ground. I cried out looking for a stairwell, but seeing as there wasn't one I leaped over the railing as well. The sudden rush of falling made me snap and I dove into my powers time skipping and landing on my knees beside Ciel. I sobbed seeing he was still alive, but his breath came out choked as his eyes turned to me in complete shock. I turned as air washed over me and glared as Alois stood from his crouched position having jumped as well.

"(Y/n), you're just in time." He grinned as I looked down at the sword laying next to Ciel's flinching hand. With quick reflexes, I snagged the handled blinking to my feet as I pointed the blade at the damned earl. His sky eyes widened as he rose his sword as well. "Whats this? Suddenly playing hero now? And look!" He gasped his smile widening. "You've used your powers! What a treat, I thought we had knocked those out of you."

I let out a shrill scream lunging out at him as I sliced down. Our swords met as his insane laugh echoed throughout the library. Raising my blade once more I blocked the blonde's as he stared at me through the empty space between the swords.

"Where did this fighting spirit come from?" He hummed and I felt my blood start to increase in my throat. I choked and struck out with my foot, my heel landing on the bastard's stomach as he stumbled back with a huff. I spat out a glob of blood and heaved, not being able to breathe.

"Look at you, getting all choked up." I raised my blade, but his next strike caused it to fly out of my hands and slide over the marble floors. I wheezed and dodged as the sharp pointed metal just barely missed my head. In the background there was a whine.

Jin. He couldn't breathe because of me.

"Eyes on your enemy, (y/n)!" Alois screamed and I winced as my arms was sliced, stumbling back. My earlier glob of blood met my foot as I slipped, knocking my head against the hard floor. The ceiling spun as I struggled to rid my throat of crimson. My muffled cry caused more to build as a foot dug into my side, kicking me onto a breathless state as I scratched at the floor. I pulled myself onto my side trying to focus on somewhere to blink to. My body pulsed. I'd reached my limit.

"Not so fast, witch!"

My eyes widened as something hard slammed on my already broken hand. Bones shifted and cracked once more as I vomited up blood mixing with my pained screamed.

"Ever wondered why she's such a quiet one, Ciel?" The blonde's spoke to the probably struggling boy behind him, heel dug into my palm as I turned trying to grabbed his ankle with my free one, but the sight of a sword tip stopped me. "She lost her voice a good while ago! It's amazing what blades can do when you stick them in someone's throat!"

His blue eyes were focused on me as I stared at him horror. "I'm glad you'll get to see her suffer, Ciel. She deserves it after hurting me." He shifted the weapon handle in his hand, readying to plunge it into my chest. My breath faltered as he smiled lifting his weapon higher. "I hope you rot in hell."

The blade came rushing towards me as I froze having no energy to dodge or even freeze time. Just as the tip entered my chest it froze and I threw my head back staring up as blood splattered on top of my new wound. Another blade was pierced through Alois's side as his wide blue eyes stared at me in shock. Looking down his face crumbled as his blade was pulled from me earning a choked gasp from me as he fell somewhere to my right to reveal Ciel. My eyes watered as I met his gaze and I coughed, my hand slithering up to my chest.

The sound of metal clanging echoed as warm arms embraced me, cradling my head as I wrestled to complete a breath.

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel scream was pained as I looked up at him, trying to mask the pain on my face.

' _It's okay_ ,' I mouthed reaching up with my good hand, my broken one resting on my chest as blood slithered down my clothes. Everything started to spin as as I blinked finding it increasingly hard to keep them open. Ciel's voice became muffled and something warm brushed against my cheek, smoothing back my hair.

This felt so familiar. All of the fear and worry. Being held by the earl and Jin crying in my head.

 _Like when I got shot_ , I recalled. I wanted to laugh at my morbid humor but I was losing control of my body. Everything was drifting away like a message in the sand cleared by the waves.

 _This can't kill me, right_? I wondered helplessly. I survived drowning, drugs--how could this one little stab wound kill me? If only my aunt had explained what would execute me and what wouldn't. She certainly been worried about the bullet pieces reaching my heart back then, so maybe it had to do with that vital organ. The sword had to have missed it, or I would already be dead...right?

I couldn't remember anymore.

**EPILOGUE: In Which Ciel and Smile Have A Chat**

She had pressure building in every portion of her body and the doctor could sense it as soon as Smile bright her in, body limp in his arms.

The woman was aged, gray peeking from her maple locks if you really took the time to look. She had fire in her eyes but a calming disposition that left no judgement from either of the boys.

The earl and childhood friend were left to wait outside as the surgery began. Jin paced the halls, shifting into a different animal every other minute. It didn't help that he felt the heavy air between the two males with him.

"I know what you are," the boy spoke, tone cold and sharp like the prick of an ice needle. As soon as the words escaped Jin fled out the hall window going to sit on (y/n)'s room window sill instead.

"Of course you do. We are one in the same, are we not?" Smile smirked, but no emotion lied behind it.

"No, we most certainly aren't," the earl growled.

"Ah, but we are. Mere demons wanting nothing but to protect her."

"You've done nothing to protect her!" The earl yells, teeth gnashing at the air as his eye flashes crimson. "You came in her early childhood and she lives with scars of her later years! Where were you when her father did the unspeakable?!" He seethes.

Just at the last syllable leaves his lips a fist grips the collar of his shirt, slamming him against the opposite wall of the hall.

"A demon does as he's ordered," Smile states, expression blank. "I regret leaving her in that death trap everyday. But who was I to steal her away?"

"You were supposed to guard her," Ciel shakes with rage. "You failed," he snaps, knocking away the fellow demon's hand. Despite his smaller form he leans forward, eye murderous.

"You're relieved of your duty. She's my responsibility now."

 


	28. Q & A Special

Votes are in and the winner is: Ciel Phantomhive!

 

No surprise there.

 

~~~

 

There is no reason for Ciel to be as pissed off as he is, but does that help him at all? No. Because when you’re told that you will be the next big guest at a talk show alongside an author, you expect her to be there.

 

“Listen,” Ghist sighs over the phone, making his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He wants to end the call and leave her hanging—do exactly the same thing she’s doing to him. But he was raised as a polite individual, so that isn’t going to happen. “I know they said I was going to be there, but I physically can’t get to where you are. It’s a long story.”

 

“Oh, like your book?” he hums derisively. “Which I just so happen to have an early copy of? Physically?”

 

“You know it’s not done. You have the rough draft.”

 

“That is not my point and you know it.”

 

“There’s a lot riding on this,” she says, the voices of others echoing in the background of where ever she is. “Besides, no one cares about the author—it’s the characters that make the debut.”

 

He scoffs, turning to meet his own gaze in a mirror. The stylists had left just before she rang so everything is perfect from head to toe. “You forget I’m an actor.”

 

“You’re the main character whether you like it or not, so please, as the main character, answer the questions that were sent in about the book. You know what to mention and what to steer clear of.”

 

“Is that what these bloody notecards are for?”

 

“Smart as always! I’ve gotta get going. Give the audience a kiss for me, ‘Kay?”

 

“You’re lucky I tolerate you.”

 

“So incredibly lucky! Knock ‘em dead, Ciel.” The line goes dead and he is left to his own thoughts once more.

 

Tucking away his cellphone, he allows himself to take a breath as well as a seat. The first draft of Ghist’s book lies flat on his desk, cover blank as she had yet to create one, or is she taking to an artist about that? He couldn’t quite recall.

 

The few flash cards they had spoken about were to the left of the story, waiting to be read over and answered. He knows the direction she’s going with the final version, but he wonders if he really is the best candidate for this announcement.

 

The title is to be revealed as well as some plot points, other than that the show is just going focus on the characters and their time together.

 

A knock sounds behind him, alerting him that showtime is right around the corner.

 

Gathering Ghist’s notes, he starts for the door.

 

~~~

 

The host is smiling as they always do, greeting the fervent crowd with waves and jokes and anything to rile them up before the big reveal. It isn’t long before a name is shouted and cheers are splitting through the air like sirens.

 

Ciel takes the que and steps out from parted curtains, notecards snug in the pocket of his suit. He does the usual, makes eye contact with the fans, shakes a hand in their direction, a wink and a kiss. He is used to the service, giving them what he can without leaving his comfort zone.

 

Still, he thinks, it would’ve been nice to have a co-star or someone here with him.

 

“Back on stage again, yeah?” the host says, leaning back in their chair after shaking his hand. They seem relaxed despite the dozen of eyes centered on them.

 

“It seems so,” he replies, lowering into his chair. A glass of water lies on the table ahead of him in case the talk show goes on longer than expected. Conversations tend to make throats parched.

 

“Unlike last year, it appears no surprise guests are in the crowd nor behind the curtains. It’s a bit lonely!”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Ciel chuckles, eyeing the audience as a few fans screamed in delight.

 

“Now, you and I know Ghist was supposed to be here, but it seems things came up so she couldn’t make it.”

 

“Right.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about the big book!” The throng of people holler as the hosts turns to them, arms raised as they are just as enthusiastic for the final story as anyone else.

 

“Well, it’s a good thing I came prepared, then,” Ciel says, slipping the notecards out from their confinement. “Ghist told me there were a few questions I should get through, all from fans, she assures.”

 

“Oh, how exciting!” they breathe, propping their chin up on their hands. The host blinks repeatedly as they smile coyly. “Do proceed, I’m dying to hear this.”

 

Laughter resounds before fading as Ciel flips through the cards, getting a scan of them before reading over the first.

 

“A large portion of you,” he begins, eyeing the crowd for a moment before returning his focus to the written words, “wanted to know if the third book will be canon or if it will be following the manga in it future release.

 

“Ghist’s writes: No—” A few groans of disappointment and even indignant squawks are heard from the audience. Ciel continues, unbothered by the reactions, “I started this book series with the show in mind and only the show. You’d think with how many times I’ve repeated myself, people would know that I haven’t read the manga nor do I plan to as I don’t like the way the story is playing out. That isn’t to say the manga is bad—quite the opposite, really. I just don’t have a taste for it and I apologize to those who do and wanted me to follow it.”

 

“I get that,” the host inputs, nodding. “The manga isn’t for everyone.”

 

“I’ve spoken to her about it a lot recently,” Ciel explains, pausing the questions. “She knows she can’t please everyone and she wishes she could, but she’s only one person. Having put so much time and effort into this series, I don’t blame her that she is taking a different direction from the original story of Black Butler. She started this because she loved the tv series so much and wanted to write something emotional and interesting to read—not just to rewrite it.”

 

“Exactly,” they agree. “So do you know the direction the story is going in, then?”

 

Ciel mulls the question over before answering. “I know that from the beginning, Ghist was always excited to break away from the script and have free reign with the characters,” he says, leaning onto the arm of his chair with a serious glint in his eyes. “Now that she’s reaching the end of the journey, she’s doing everything she wanted to do in the first place. She’s making her own tale, not following another.”

 

“Inspirational, isn’t it folks?” Of course, they agree because, somehow, the majority them are always positive and supportive. Somehow, this fanbase is kind and accepting to new ideas and he knows Ghist is always thankful for that.

 

“Leads us into the next question, in a way,” Ciel buffs as he scans the ever card in his grip. “A few asked: How old will the characters be in this book? Will there be a timeskip? Ghist replies: There will be a timeskip, actually! It will be around five or six years in the future.”

 

The Host hums. “So we’re dealing with teenagers-going-on-young-adults? How interesting!”

 

Ciel continues. “How long will the book be? She says she isn’t quite sure at the moment as she’s around 50 chapters right now and there is still a lot left to write. She hopes to reach 100 chapters if possible.

 

Is there a release date planned? Since the story isn’t finished, she isn’t sure of a release date. She wants to say by the end of the year, but with life popping up at unexpected times she can’t give a specific date.

 

As for those who want to know if there will be a big kiss scene,” he looks to the crowd and smirks, “there will be.”

 

Screaming. So. Much. Screaming.

 

“Will Jin be seeing memes?” Ciel reads aloud, brow furrowed. The face he makes has everyone laughing, even the Host. “Honestly. I don’t doubt Ghist won’t add some horrid meme in there somewhere for him. She likes them too much not too.

 

“Another big question that’s been asked repeatedly is what exactly happened to Diana and Sear in the last book. Ghist has said that that will be explained in due time in the story as it is too important to go into right now.”

 

“And what about you?” the Host inquires. “What will the esteemed Earl Phantomhive be doing in this finale?”

 

Ciel crosses his legs, his lips curling up at the corners mischievously. “Where we last left off I had returned home as a demon due to Alois. I assume we’re picking up where we left off, story wise. The years that have passed have only left my relationship with [Name] to grow stronger and perhaps for us to heal after all that transpired.”

 

“Sounds like we’ll be getting to see more of you together as a couple, then.”

 

“Oh, most definitely,” he assures.

 

“Well, then, I see we’re running out of time and you have one final note card to get through. Don’t leave us on the edge of our seats!”

 

Has that much time passed already? Ciel hasn’t been paying attention but he’s somewhat relieved to be reaching the end. There is so much to do after this and he knows Ghist is as busy as ever, too.

 

“The final question is this: What will the title of the book be?”

 

“Of course it is,” the host groans, amazed by their obliviousness. “What will it be, then? We’ve had Years to Seconds, Months to Milleniums, and the final…?”

 

“Ghist has decided on Eons to Eternity,” Ciel reveals and the people are awe-inspired by the title. “She likes everything to fit together at the end of the day, so I’m sure a few were able see this coming.”

 

“Maybe but it’s a grand title either way! We’ve run out of time, but make sure to look out for the release of the third and final book to the series! Would you like to sign us off?” they ask the earl.

 

Ciel smirks toward the audience before finding the camera, or one of them at least.

 

“I’ll see you in the finale,” he promises, eye sincere. “So wait for me (y/n).”

 

The screams are as wild as ever.

 

~~~

 

DONE! Finally, it took way too long to write this but whatever, it’s here now.

 

So, there’s a two more questions I wanted to get to as the author and that I felt couldn’t be worked into the little talk show shot above.

 

People asked me what the schedule was going to be for the last book and as far as I know I’ll be updating once a week on the day you guys choose. So comment your preferred day of the week!

 

Someone very smart decided to ask “What is up with the readers power with blood contact and reading memories? Will it be explained?” And I'm here to say YES.

 

There is a lot happening in the third book that you guys won’t expect to happen (or at least I hope you won’t because that ruins all sorts of surprises). Anyway, it’s can’t really give straight answers here without spoiling the good stuff but know that there will be an explanation to all the stuff you guys asked about like the reader’s aunt and all that.

 

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this silly little Q & A and will keep this sequel in your libraries! I’ll be updating it with the release date for the third book when I have one!

 

Until then, have a great day and read to your hearts’ content because there will be a lot of little things in the third book that will relate back to the first!

 

Bye for now!

 

~GhistWrite


End file.
